To answer this question, we must first understand what IS the overall goal of the LDS Church.
The overall goal of the Church is for families to come unto Christ and ultimately be bound together, or “sealed”, for all eternity in a holy temple of God.
That is the ultimate goal of the LDS Church.
So why does it appear that the Church is cruelly singling out the children of same-sex couples that are cohabiting and denying them membership? The children of a man and a woman “living in sin” who are not married may be blessed and baptized. The child of a homosexual man who is NOT cohabiting—yet may be engaging in illicit liaisons with a myriad of other men—that child may be blessed and baptized too.
So why this seemingly double standard?
Here is the answer: This policy that prohibits the children of cohabiting same sex couples from membership in the church is designed to protect the children and to preserve familial relationships within that home.
You probably just read that last sentence and think I’m crazy, but please continue to read and understand what I mean.
In the Church, homosexuality is a sin. It always has been a sin and always will be a sin. Adultery is a sin too.
Additionally in the Church, a family starts when a man and a woman join in marriage. Despite all of the insistence that a homosexual union is the same as a heterosexual one, that is simply not true. Men are different from women. Women are different from men. Gender is an essential component of what a marriage is. This will never change in the Church, despite the legalization of marriage in the world.
Again, the ultimate goal for the Church is to get families to the temple to be sealed. To enter the temple, they must abide by all of the commandments in the Church.
So for the heterosexual couple living in sin, getting to the temple is relatively easy. They simply need to go down to a judge, get married, and begin living all of the church commandments. (Attending their Sunday meetings, paying tithing, etc). Once they do all of this, they and their children can go to the temple.
As for the single gay man with a child, this one is a bit more complicated but still possible. He simply needs to stop acting on his homosexual desires and start keeping the commandments of the Church. If he wants to be sealed as a family, he needs to marry a female. That’s it. I know this is complicated by the fact that he is not attracted to females, but Mormons believe that if it is not possible for him to marry a female in this life, God will mercifully allow him that same opportunity in the next life—if that is what he wants.
So let’s get to our final example, the same sex couple living together with children. How do they make it to the temple? The ONLY way for this couple to make it to the temple is for their family to break up. In the other scenarios I described, the families were able to stay together as they repented and change their lives. In this case, the two men must separate. So now, where does the child go? With which father? Hypothetically, if these men did repent and marry females in order to be sealed in a temple, which family is the child sealed to? Which dad?
This is the mess that is created.
This is why the church, in order to protect these kids and their relations with their parents, withdraws.
Think of this: The child of this same sex couples goes to church each Sunday. Guess what they teach as doctrine in primary class? God has prophets. These prophets have said that marriage is between a man and a woman. Homosexuality is a sin.
Then this 6 or 7 year old child goes home to his two dads and what do they teach him? Well, the prophets don’t know what they’re talking about. The Church is wrong. The Church is full of hatred and bigotry.
How does a 6 year old child process this?
He cannot possibly reconcile this. The church recognizes this and that is why it insists on not letting the doctrines of the church negatively affect this child in his tender years. The child can still attend the church. However, to officially be baptized, he must be old enough and mature enough to make the decision to join a church that is going to insist that his parents are living in sin and must break up.
This is why the policy is in place.
A couple of more clarifications: Homosexuals and their children are never, ever barred from attending an LDS Sunday service. Nobody is barred for that matter (assuming they aren’t disrupting the service). If the same sex family wants to attend church, they are free to do so and will not be asked to leave. They won’t, however, be allowed to participate in the sacraments of the church, including attending the temple.
Additionally, in order to join the church at 18, the child must repudiate and renounce the practice of same sex marriage/cohabitation and not live in the home. He is NOT required to renounce or repudiate his parents. Some have likened this practice to how scientologists or JW’s will cut off their family members if they leave the church or are declared “suppressive”. This is not the case in the LDS faith. Although the child cannot be living in the home, he most certainly is allowed to communicate and visit and participate in all other functions of that particular arrangement.
I hope this helps to explain this policy. Feel free to comment or private message if you have more questions.
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