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Miss_Lys's avatar

Did or do your split parents always seem like there in competition?

Asked by Miss_Lys (97points) July 23rd, 2008

well my parents are split and it drives me crazy when they disagree on something because the other didn’t have the idea first but they don’t actually say it. thats not all they also put us in very uncomfortable possesions when we have to choose one over the other but not purposely.

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16 Answers

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

that sucks. i’ve hear of that happening from my friends parents. my parents divorced when i was like 8 and they’ve been like best friends ever since. i’m just extremely lucky, i think.

Miss_Lys's avatar

ya plus i have a nagging step mom that makes it worse.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

ick, those are the worst. or when your mom gets involved with obnoxious puerto rican men with weed/alcohol addictions. or is that just me? haha

BronxLens's avatar

‘Did or do your split parents always seem like they’re in competition?’

Cordially yours,
A Puerto Rican man (who doesn’t smoke or drink! LOL)

susanc's avatar

“they put us in a very uncomfortable position (my slight edit) when we have to choose one over the other but not purposely”

Since you are not being
nasty to them about this, even when they’re not listening, maybe you can
talk it over with each of them – they might be able to hear you because you’re so willing to forgive. Maybe the divorce was relatively recent, and they don’t have the hang of it yet.
If you don’t think you want to talk to them directly, how about asking them if they’ll send you to a counselor to help you to deal with this. That will show them how seriously their actions are affecting you.
And get back to us.
This is worth fighting for. Good luck.

scamp's avatar

@BronxLens I wish I could give you 5 GA’s for that answer!!

mssamayray's avatar

it happens a lot.
I completely understand.
they compete to see who can pay more for your expenses.
and then argue that the other isn’t paying enough for you.
it’s endless.
and it sucks, I know.
they argue and have to be right all the time.
it’s just how divorce works.
it is unlike anything else you will ever experience in your life.

Miss_Lys's avatar

@ susanc: well the “divorce” actually i wouldn’t call it divorce because they were never married and it happened when i was an infant. Plus i could never talk to my parents especially my dad but of course they also say i could its just they are so hard to come to because especially my dad if i were to talk to him i wouldn’t really be able to vent without his “LOGICAL” ( as he calls it) comments which i hate. I never knew anyone like my dad hes both stricked and fun but it feels like i have to feel fake around my dad sometimes because hes hard to be around like i can’t ever just talk. that goes with all of my sisters there are 6 of us total and im the middle child but also im the only one who’d sum what stand up to my dad….lets just say i have a mouth but around my dad its to a limit. Plus i have pretty young parents they had us young meaning real young so there still sort of at there prime they’re 33 and 34. and im 15 so do the math my moms the youngest. oh plus i have a 17 yr old sister so now do the math.

Miss_Lys's avatar

oh and i’ve done the counseling it just started out with different reasons at first then went into family. my sisters and i are all scared of my dad but dont get me wrong we love him and he would never do anything to hurt us but just because he has a bad side and i guess my dad always has to be RIGHT….

Miss_Lys's avatar

@ bronxlens: are you a grammar teacher?

Miss_Lys's avatar

Oh and might i add there is a controlling step mom involved that i cant even put into words how she is, lets just say my dad and her are like a team.

susanc's avatar

Okay Miss, you are in a bind. Your parents are REALLY young to have so much responsibility, no wonder it’s not
going well. I do understand that you love your difficult dad.
I didn’t like my stepmother either (for different reasons than
yours). I am going to think more about what to say to you.
This isn’t so simple, is it?
Do you have any grandparents near you? How are they?

Miss_Lys's avatar

lets just say my families are in twist and including my step granparents which i hav a step dad and step mom i have 3 near me and one in los angles which i dont live near but one is my step mom’s mom and she’s just as bad or worse than my step mom but why does this matter?

Miss_Lys's avatar

lets see the other two grandparents well one which is my grandpa i cant stand his wife which is also STEP not blood and wow hes in his 50’s i think with a 3 year old daughter thats all i hav to say and my other one is poor and her and my dad dont talk but i try to talk to her as much as possible so the most responsible and loving grandparent i have lives about 300 miles from me.

scamp's avatar

@Miss_Lys Wow, you have a lot on your plate for someone so young. I wish I had some advice for you, but this seems a little too complicated for me to give a quick answer to. I think you should conitnue with your counselor if you can. Hopefully he/she will find a way to talk to your parents and help the whole family. Good luck honey. I’ll be thinking of you.

Miss_Lys's avatar

thanks scamp but i dont talk to a counselor anymore….maybe i could try a new one because she wasnt very helpful thanx for the advice

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