Social Question

Haleth's avatar

Have you ever liked/ disliked someone right off the bat?

Asked by Haleth (19538points) December 9th, 2015

And was your initial impression of them correct?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

13 Answers

dappled_leaves's avatar

Being “correct” is a tricky notion. It applies if the first impression was, “This person is untrustworthy” and he turns out to be cheating on his wife, or something. But if my first impression of someone is, “I don’t like him,” then I think that’s a much more subjective thing – it’s more dependent on my state of mind or my personal preferences than on that other person’s characteristics.

I have very seldom overcome an initial dislike of another person. The only reason I don’t say “never” is that I feel there must have been at least one such case, though I don’t remember one. That makes sense, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t spend more time with someone who rubs me the wrong way. More commonly, I have initially liked people who eventually let me down for some reason, causing me to dislike them.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Yes. We stay clear from each other now.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I have had a bad feeling about certain people almost immediately. Usually, my first impressions prove to be accurate. Even if after a time I’ve thought, ‘no, I think I misjudged them’, it’s amazing how often after a longer period of time I find myself thinking ‘my first impressions were spot on’.

stanleybmanly's avatar

yes and when it happens I always pay attention, because I am by no means the sensitive type.

Haleth's avatar

I meant to put this in the details, but whatevers!

A couple weeks ago I met a young woman through work. To make conversation, I asked how she got into the wine business. She told me about her incredibly privileged, fortunate upbringing- her dad had a wine cellar, they were friends with winemakers, equestrian lessons, growing up on Martha’s vineyard, childhood visits to France etc. She’s around my age and has a job with a company that I wanted to get into for ages (before recently changing career goals.) And she said it was “so easy” to get a job there because she already knew all the right people. UGH.

At first I thought she was so over the top nice that it was fake- turns out, she really is that nice. She’s basically the sweetest person ever. I might ask her to lunch or coffee.

Seek's avatar

Sure. But, my person-judging-system is not always accurate.

I have certainly immediately disliked a very nice person upon introduction, but I’ve also called myself friends with more than one person who turned out to be a felon of some of the most unsavory kinds.

Cruiser's avatar

In a blink My gut which I have not always followed has been 100% accurate.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes. It’s very rare though. I usually like people. I’m very social and outgoing when meeting new people.

Was I correct when I didn’t get a good vibe from someone early on? I’d say usually not always. Well, always right for myself, but sometimes other people get along with the person ok.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

yes, and I’m usually wrong about it. I take the time to really feel people out now and it usually means that there is a period of time I’m socially awkward and guarded until I understand them. Just takes one or two brushes with a sociopath to make that normal behavior.

Pachy's avatar

Yes, and often the dislike was inexplicable and mutual.

One of the most dramatic examples of this happened when I was around 20. I was working for a newspaper in New York and was introduced to a co-worker whose ethnicity and religion INSTANTLY clashed with mine, albeit wordlessly. We never spoke after that brief encounter.

I’ve also experienced the opposite —really liking a male or female immediately and then soon discovering my (or our) mutual attraction was a misplaced.

JLeslie's avatar

@Pachy That’s interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever had a huge clash because of religion. Especially, not in the first few minutes of meeting. What religion were they?

marinelife's avatar

Yes. Sometimes my first impression is modified by subsequent encounters.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

Yes, almost always. I tend to form very quick opinions, either positive or negative. Amazingly, my first impressions are usually accurate. I seem to have instincts about the good and bad in people.

When I met my husband, I immediately thought, “I’m going to marry this man.” We got engaged 8 months later. We’re now approaching our 25th wedding anniversary.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther