I haven't wanted sex with my boyfriend in over a year?

Asked by Lulu4500 (162) January 1st, 2016 from iPhone

We’ve been talking about it through all of 2015 and even part of 2014. I’m not sure what to do anymore and I feel so guilty that I haven’t been horny. I just joined and this is my first fluther question…..I just really needed to ask for some opinions.

I have been with my boyfriend for six years now and other parts of our relationship are fine. We both finish school and are working, and we get along great. I love him and he’s my best friend. We argue sometimes over tiny things but it’s extremely rare that we have “big” arguments. Even before I was in a relationship with him, I was never the type of person that craved sex. Even with people I found attractive, it was always like “they’re nice to look at” but I never wanted to get in bed with them. I used to masturbate but i never had to picture sex in order to get off; I don’t mind people watching porn but personally I just find it kinda gross.

In the first couple of years we used to have sex. We were both virgins and grew our “sexual” relationship together. I enjoyed it and used to even initiate. However, towards the end of 2014 I just stopped wanting it. I still have sex with him every now and then but it’s a lot more rare and I never really “want” it. I think he feels like it’s a reflection on him but I still love him very much. But the feeling has been getting worse. I barely enjoy kisses now and I dislike when he tries to touch my breasts and whatnot. It hurts and makes me cry sometimes because my brain wants to like all of these things but my body won’t listen. He says he still loves me and it’s fine, but I can tell it has been bothering him. I feel like he deserves someone who wants him just as badly as he wants me. He is horny all the time and I know he’s attracted to me, but out of respect he hasn’t been pushing for sex.

He’s worried too that I’m not attracted to him I think. But for starters, someone being attractive has never really influenced how I’ve felt sexually anyway. He’s a little short and slightly overweight but I always found him still to be handsome. Not a super model but still is attractive and I think if we had children with his features they’d be gorgeous lol. And his height/weight obviously didn’t influence me in the four years we were having sex previously, and on top of that he has actually been losing weight (so proud of him).

I’ve been on birth control since before we began our relationship so I don’t think that’s it either. I’ve been waiting to see if this problem would just go away but it hasn’t. I don’t have sexual urges in general. Never have for anyone else, but not even for him anymore. For the longest I’ve been feeling like something is wrong with me and I feel abnormal and it has made me feel depressed, which in turn turns me off of sex even more.