General Question

wildflower's avatar

"Going home"?

Asked by wildflower (11152points) July 24th, 2008

What are the best and worst parts of going “back home” for a visit?

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22 Answers

Triozoo's avatar

Visting you’re family members, reminding yourself of your loved ones and memories shared in that household. The downside of it is not know what to say or having an awkward tension?

dragonflyfaith's avatar

It’s nice to see people you haven’t seen for a while but the changes can be disturbing.

For me personally, I hate going home. My parents divorced and each time I visit my father I just imagine how things were before or picturing my mother there. I just don’t like the reminder or the emptiness that house now holds.

gailcalled's avatar

It depends on your family and the duration of the visit and how many legitimate escape hatches you have before you bump into the ocean and need a boat.

wildflower's avatar

I’m heading “home” for a visit soon. It’s been 4 years since my last trip and I can’t wait to step off that plane and take it all in. I also can’t wait to spend time with my brother and father and hope to bump in to a few old friends – but I am driving myself mad, starving myself, exercising, getting my hair done, etc. because I have to look my best….not sure why.

I like your point gail, I probably should have a boat fueled and ready – not many escape routes of the islands, I’m afraid….

gailcalled's avatar

@Wild: it’s your family for heaven’s sake. It is not like you’re going back to your 20th High School Reunion. And the cross-winds will mess up your hair as soon as you disembark. Just stand up straight.

tinyfaery's avatar

I always feel like a kid whenever I visit family. Its like I’m still 14—self-conscious about my every move. And since the matriarch of the family (my grandmother) died last year, the family just doesn’t feel the same; nor does her house.

No matter how much we fight it, or try to deny it, we all want acceptance from our families.

gailcalled's avatar

So how is everyone’s English. As good as yours? If not, there ya go.

beowolf8379's avatar

visiting who u love the most

wildflower's avatar

Most (aged 60 or less) have basic conversational to fluent English, although I suppose I may have more practice than many (at the expense of my written Faroese, unfortunately).

Know what you mean. The thought of meeting people I haven’t seen since I was a teenager, makes me feel like one again. Silly, but true.

gailcalled's avatar

And if you want glowing testamonials from all your efriends, let us know and we will blitz you, you adorable, intelligent, witty, wonderful woman, you.

wildflower's avatar

Aww thanks Gail :)

flameboi's avatar

That everything has changed, your family, your friends, the city, that maybe you just lost something that you always had (like the person that you knew was in love with you for example) and the worst part, the fact that when you are feeling like home again, it’s time to pack up and leave :( because somehow, you don’t belong there anymore

marinelife's avatar

I once had someone tell me that they always budgeted two weeks after their visits home to cope with the fallout from the visits home. Our families know how to push our buttons, after all, they installed them, the saying goes.

Since you have left home, you have been changing and growing. In your family’s memory, you are as you were then. Don’t let them try and stuff you back into the old hole in the family. When you react differently, they will have to.

Enjoy the good parts, the shared jokes, the warm memories, the love, family favorite foods. Ignore the bad as much as possible. I always make sure I have my own transportation (for quick escapes as Gail said). Definitely see friends.

Have a wonderful trip.

gailcalled's avatar

And I found that when I had the family home to return to, many years ago, each trip was less important. But I was only a 3 hr. car ride away and could pop in for an over-nighter. You have to take planes, boats and finally what – water skies? – to get to your home.

tinyfaery's avatar

Ok. Wildflower—where do you live, what language do you speak, and where do your people come from? I feel sooo left out. :(

wildflower's avatar

Live in Ireland, from the Faroe Islands, speak Faroese, Danish and English… yea, two flights, a drive through an underwater tunnel as well as two regular tunnels – then I’ll be “home”.

tinyfaery's avatar

@wf Simply stunning!

I must go. I must!

AstroChuck's avatar

“Going home” requires about a 15 minute drive. So it’s no big deal for me.

mzgator's avatar

My brother lives in my neighborhood. Mom and Dad live a few miles away. I do have a another brother who lives in Texas, and we all love it when he comes home for a visit. My husbands mom and dad live in town, but his brother lives in Austin. We also love it when he comes home for a visit.

I’m sure your family will be happy to see you again at home. Enjoy your time and your family. When it all comes down to it, family can be some of the best things we have.

peggylou's avatar

When my family members come home, I want all their bad habits to be gone, and I want to see that all of their “darlingness” (such as hair length, sweetness, humility, intelligence and patience with me) is just as it was when they were small!

peggylou's avatar

I’m a dreamer!

susanc's avatar

I could never stand going home, it was debilitating. We tried hard not to build a “home” of that nature.

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