If I'm so "fun, nice, etc." why am I always alone?

Asked by travelbabe24 (262) January 13th, 2016 from iPhone

I’m sorry if I’ve asked a question like this before, I can’t remember if I have or not.

I’m a 20 year old female, and to be honest, I haven’t had a friend since I was 14–15. The friends I had in high school never included me in anything, would make fun of me, and just weren’t good friends. I was the only one keeping in contact with them, and as soon as I stopped, I never heard from them again.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 3 years. I finally broke things off with him about 9 months ago. I feel as if I stayed with him for so long because he has been the only person who would want to spend time with me. Eventually I realized it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who treated me that way, so I broke things off.

In my college classes I’ve tried so hard to get to know people and make friends, but every time I would make plans with them, they would cancel last minute or stand me up.

My parents are divorced. My mom and I are pretty close. When I ask my siblings to hang out, they always say no. My siblings often make fun of me for having no friends, I laugh it off but deep down it hurts. My dad and I are somewhat close, but it definitely feels as if there is a barrier between us. My dads girlfriend and I are close. She’s Fun to be around, but my mom gets sad when I spend time with her (my mom is still madly in love with my dad) and it’s just not the same as having friends my age.

People’s first impressions of me are that I’m really sweet and fun to be around. I’ve heard this from multiple sources, but if so, then why am I always alone? Why does everyone cancel plans, or have no interest in hanging out with me?

I start nursing school in the summer, and I’m hoping I can make some friends then. But what if I don’t? I’m so scared, the more I try to make friends, the more I’m rejected, and the lower my self esteem gets.

I’ve been working out all the time and reading and studying all the time to keep myself from getting too depressed. But I can’t keep living alone…

Have you met anyone like this? What was it that turned you off? Or any ideas what I can do, and what I might be doing wrong?