What are you struggling with these days and could you use some support?

I’ve known many people who have struggled to control their blood sugar, you are not alone. Not all were overweight. One friend was a doctor, medium build, and wound up in the hospital more than once while I knew him with crazy high blood sugar levels.

I too have been struggling with weight, and I am feeling pretty frustrated about it. Usually, I can tie it directly to my diet, but my diet hasn’t been worse, and yet I still gained more weight. Part might be my thyroid, I changed my med combo 6 months ago, but it’s all such an unclear puzzle. I’m really tired of trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

I’m also struggling a little in the wife role. My husband started a new job and I’m not happy with how many hours he is working and how stressed he seems. I was telling a close girlfriend about it, and she was kind of like it’s his choice, everyone works hard, he’s in the learning curve, and I don’t feel sorry for him. WTF? No! He’s not working in a new career field. I was shocked with her lack of support. Then I got a lecture in how I need to support him and not complain or voice my opinion. Fuck. I want to be supportive of him. I also want him to not feel like he has to twist himself in knots for me, for us as a couple and family. I guess maybe I’m not doing a good job in my role right now. It’s like I need to change, but that will also change our dynamic as a couple.

I went No Contact with a family member and the ramifications of that are constant and ongoing. Very few people are willing to step out of the traditional thought mode and understand that sometimes such a thing is necessary and justified. It is a very lonely thing to realize that so many otherwise sensitive and gentle people can be so harsh based solely on social conditioning.
It’s like watching intelligent, educated people quote Facebook memes as absolutes.

I am consciously working on overcoming my fears as they relate to my finances. I grew up in a middle-class family, and I never wanted for anything. My parents paid for my college education, but that was in the days when the whole degree cost less than what we pay for only one year of college now.

I started my working life doing well and advanced quickly only to be diagnosed with a mental illness forcing me to spend more than 10 years on disability. Those were 10 years of poverty. Basically, I spent 10 years without saving a penny.

I’m now working again, and I have children going to college. I have bills that are manageable without the college finances. The college expenses are difficult. However, I can do it. It won’t be easy, and I won’t make up for the lost years of savings, but I can do it.

All this causes stress related to my finances. I doubt the stress will magically disappear, but I can work on my reactions to the stress. I can disconnect those buttons that finances push. That’s what I’m working on. I’m rewiring my stress buttons, and it’s difficult work.

@marinelife I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming forward, telling us your story, and asking this question. It is difficult to be open to people we know, let alone to strangers on the Internet. I do not have any advice for you, but I can say emphatically that I hear you. I hear your struggle, and I acknowledge it. If possible, I would hug you. In my experience, opening up always leads to healing on some level. I hope you find that healing.

@JLeslie You have a lot on your plate right now. You appear to be coping to one degree or another with the many stressors you’re experiencing. I hear your frustration with your new wife restrictions. That sounds very hard. I can offer no advice. I hope the situation improves.

@canidmajor It sounds like you have made an important decision to protect yourself from a family member, and that is never a pleasant situation. Families are often complex, and I applaud you for taking a stand. I hope you are able to find some peace in the larger situation. Be well.

@Hawaii_Jake: the kindness of strangers goes a long way, thank you. Your determination to be well and productive will take you far, and the joy of seeing your children succeed in their endeavors is priceless, it is something that I am grateful to witness with my own. :-)

I am struggling with whether I want romance in my life since it tends to upset my balance and if I do, how to get it and how picky to be. I have tended to fall for unobtainable men and dismiss others as not good enough. Deciding whether the game is worth the candle (literally and figuratively.)

@janbb There must be a Mr. Darcy for you! There simply must!

I get so caught up that I forget the “support” part, sorry.
@marinelife, the putting-it-out-there aspect is brave and adds accountability to the mix. It increases the burden on you, but is a very effective method of working on something. I’m sure you already know what to do, I am happy to provide a cheering section! :-)
@JLeslie, the major life upheaval of a major move, especially to another climate, can be overwhelming. I think your friend was shortsighted not to realize that this is at least as fraught for you as for your husband, in fact probably a bit more, as he gets to step into a somewhat familiar setting, if the career line is essentially the same, while you are thrown into an entirely new circumstance to deal with everything else.
And @janbb, I understand just how hard it is to figure out what you want at this point. Romance sounds lovely on so many levels, but sacrificing the freedom and balance would be big at this point, and a huge adjustment in a lifestyle that you have worked so hard to pull together! Good luck with this, Little Penguin, maybe if something happens organically it will work in your life.

Why am I wishing Mr. Darcy on @janbb? I want Mr. Darcy for myself!

The will to live. No one can help with that and neither can medication. I just take it one day at a time.

@All thank you for the answers and the support that hearing that others are struggling too brings. I am working on it—every day as best I can. I have been starting my day with gratitude for getting another day. I have begun practicing yoga on a daily basis, and today I went for an 11 minute walk. Not far, but something.

@Hawaii_Jake Thank you for the virtual hug provided by your words. We have all been programmed to react to our finances in a certain way. The rewiring that you speak of is hard to do. For me, thinking of it as a process, which will have setbacks, helps. Could we not all use a Mr. Darcy?

@JLeslie When we moved 3,000 miles to Florida, I lost my whole support system: friends, family, and community. My husband worked long hours and was gone every evening. It was so hard! I finally found my balance and created a new community, but it took work. I also learned the hard way that my husband could not pick us the slack of all of my needs. It was a difficult time. I wish you well as you cope.

@canidmajor I have had to do that in my life. It did cause some upheaval and some feedback from other family members, but it was absolutely the right decision for me, and I stayed the course. You were strong and brave and right to take care of yourself first.

@janbb It is a struggle. You are a great advertisement for living a fulfilling life on one’s own. You have friends, family who love you. I think not hunting for it, but accepting it if it happens would be the way to go. You shouldn’t have to compromise on your standards. Hang in there.

@tinyfaery Taking it one day at a time is perfect. I am not using hyperbole. I am serious in my choice of words.

@Hawaii_Jake Thanks. That’s all I can do.

I’m on leave and am finding it hard to get some work tasks finished that I really need to focus on. They’re more ‘admin’ tasks than things I love to do. Apart from that, I’m not really struggling with anything.

I’m sorry you’re struggling. I hope things improve.

@Earthbound_Misfit If you’re doing admin tasks on leave, that is a struggle! Don’t sell yourself short.

@Hawaii_Jake, it’s just part of the job. If I don’t do it now, I’ll have a bigger task when I get back. So I’ll do it and then I can forget it. It’s hanging over me.

My anxiety is causing major stress for me, so much so that I ended up in hospital at the weekend. I can’t get through the days at the moment without feeling panicked by even the most minor of situations. I have decided to go back on medication to try and ease it and also look into councilling of some kind but my doctor can’t see me until 1st Feb so I’m just trying to manage it with over the counter medication until then.

@OpryLeigh Anxiety is a bear. Hope you can get the help you need soon.

Thank you.. Threads like this are the main reason I love Fluther so much. So much support. I hope everyone here can work through whatever is causing them grief at the moment.

@OpryLeigh Thank you so much for joining this thread and trusting us with your story. I know many people who struggle with anxiety. It is truly difficult. I applaud your decision to go back on medication, and I hope you will get the relief you need very quickly.

I have a mental illness, and I can vouch for medication. When you and your doctor work together to find the right one, it works very well. To maintain my recovery from bipolar disorder, I also exercise daily and meditate. I powerwalk 2 miles each morning. My meditation is unstructured. It lasts only about 15 minutes. I am no guru. Some mornings it’s only 5 minutes.

@OpryLeigh, I’m sorry you have to wait a couple of weeks, each day can seem endless. I know it’s getting really bad when I count down the hours til I can go to bed that night.
I don’t know if you meditate, it has helped me sometimes with anxiety.

Weight because of my hypothyroidism and healing the same rib injury that I’ve been dealing with for years now. It’s extremely hard to remain optimistic for that long and it seems like it’s never going to heal. It’s difficult because the pain prevents me from doing many things that I would love to do – and did in the past – and that’s one of the hardest things about it. Also, I have anxiety and have had panic attacks in the past, and still come very close to having them once in a while. I miss feeling “normal” since anxiety and panic attacks are a newer addition to my life.

I’m more comfortable talking about this stuff with people online, who I feel can relate, because I feel like there are a lot of people in my “real” life who don’t get how difficult things can be for me much of the time.

@DrasticDreamer Thank you for sharing with us. Opening to hear what other people think of our difficulties is scary most of the time. I can’t give advice, but I can assure you I hear you. I hear your story of struggle and I understand it. Best of luck to you. I hope you get relief soon.

I’m worried about my job. They have closed units in my hospital and they cannot promise that my group will be there past 6 months. I’m in my late 50’s and will find it hard to find another job. I’ve been having panic attacks and find it hard to eat.

Settling in. I have half a month to find a place, and hope I don’t have to do another pull in into an already rented place. It has been effecting my day-to-day routine and my motivation to do things. I keep having this mentality that I’ll get everything back in motion once I settle in, but I fear that will never happen. What can you do to help? Move into a 2-bed apartment with me. I can’t afford a studio haha.

We can start with living…....

@Hawaii_Jake Thank you. I will sometimes go for a walk with the dog when I’m struggling or go for a drive. I live five mins drive away from Salisbury Plain and love to drive across there a number of times, back and forward until I can calm down. My loved ones don’t really like this as they worry about my safety but I find that concentrating on driving does help ease the anxiety.

@canidmajor I haven’t tried meditation but I would like to learn how.

@DrasticDreamer I hope you are able to manage your anxiety. If you ever want to talk things through with someone who has a lot of experiemce with panic attacks then please feel free to message or Facebook me.

I had a nightmare last night. I was driving with a friend. At one point we were going too fast, but we slowed back down. Then just after that we went off the side of a cliff! Flying through the air. I was terrified and accepting all at once. Then I saw we were going to land on the next mountain. We made it, the landing wasn’t too terrible, and then we started driving again.

I don’t think it could have been more symbolic for how I feel. It was strange to have such an obvious dream like that.

@JLeslie It’s funny; most of my dreams have very clear symbolism in them. Maybe you can relax a bit more and know you will land safely.

@Hypocrisy_Central Maybe if you could share some of your life more we could support you but that’s up to you of course.

@OpryLeigh So sorry that you are having difficulty with anxiety. I struggle with it too and I feel like my life has changed since I went on medication. Sometimes finding the right med or combination of meds is difficult. Hang in there. Dogs are a comfort, aren’t they?

@DrasticDreamer Your struggle sounds tough. Trying to heal from an injury that keeps nagging is very emotionally draining. Hypothyroidism is also a drag. I have it and have struggled for years trying to figure out the right medication. Western medicine does not handle it well.

@chyna I’m so sorry that you have the uncertainty of potential job loss hanging over you. That can be worrying. Is it possible that you could think of your job as already going away in six months (sort of what if the worst happens scenario) and when the fear comes over you, you could plan for the future? I hope that you do not have to live with six months of uncertainty. I’ll be thinking about you.

@dxs Having a home is a fundamental foundation for our lives. It sounds like your life has been
thrown into turmoil through no fault of you own. Take care.

I wish you well, @marinelife. I never pictured you as heavy, so, if it helps, you’re svelte in my mind’s eye.

I wish that there was a way Fluther could offer me some support at this time, but my feet seem to have passed the end of my rope, and, I now know there is no knot.

@OpryLeigh I’ve been meditating for 30 years. There is no wrong way to do it.

Let me tell you how I do it, and you can take what parts you want.

I sit on a stool that I happen to have with my back erect, both feet are flat on the floor, and my hands are on my knees with the palms up and fingers relaxed.

I relax. I remember that I had to do this consciously in the early days by starting at my toes and relaxing each body part up to the top of my head.

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth as many times as seems good.

I switch to breathing calmly in and out my nose. I concentrate on the feeling of the air as it enters and leaves my nose, and I count my breaths. Sometimes I stop counting and just breathe.

At this point, I do some guided visualization that works for me. I imagine myself rising off the stool and walking either up or down a flight of stairs to a door that I pause at and then walk through. The other side is a place I require to be pleasant, and I call it My Happy Place. There is green grass dotted with flowers, a fountain, a stream with a stone bridge over it. I often drink from the fountain and cross the bridge to a building made of light. I enter the building and simply let things happen. Often in the building, I find a stool where I sit down and continue to breathe. After a bit, I’m done.

Good luck to you.

I’m going to give it a try. Thank you for the advice, very much appreciated.

@ibstubro I am sorry that you are struggling. Even if you think that support cannot help, I offer here for you.

It’s good for me to read fluther. Sometimes chronic illness becomes all there is. I need to realize how lucky I am and not feel too down to do anything. I hope for all of you that tomorrow is a brighter day- and for me!

@ibstubro: I wish for you a knot to appear, and an easing of your burdens.

@janbb Maybe if you could share some of your life more we could support you but that’s up to you of course.
Well, though I thank you for the offer, there is not much you can really do unless you are capable of rising to the spiritual, because of you do not believe it exist, then there is no way you can relate in a constructive way to help, for instance, if you did not believe people had a psyche you cannot fathom they could have psychological problems (not that it is a problem of mine, mind you).

Still hangin. Anger kicked back in, @canidmajor. Thanks.

@OpryLeigh, now that we are into February, I hope you have been able to square some of this with your doctor. If you tried meditation, p,ease let us know if it helped. I haven’t done it for a long time, and I need to renew my commitment to time spent that way.

I am back on medication and also have an appointment for counselling in March. It’s too soon for me to say whether the medication is working as have only had them for a week but I’m happy to check back in with you in a couple more weeks.

@OpryLeigh Great, I hope that it works for you.

@ibstubro Good! Anger is fuel.