When is it OK to lie to a pushy social worker?

What do you mean by “curtailing your freedom?”

If they are assigned to you because of your status as disabled, then you’re kind of stuck with them, unless you somehow become not-reliant on disability income.

@seek Telling me what to eat and where to live how to spend my money.

Do you think they are making these suggestions because they want to harm you? (Probably not)
Do you think they are offering suggestions because they genuinely believe it is in your best interest? (Probably yes.)
Are they or their organization giving you the funds for your daily needs? (Probably yes.)

If you are paying for everything with your own money then you should have the right to spend it as you wish. There are very few something-for-nothing deals in life.

I get paid because I do what my employer wants. I pee in a cup if they ask. I work on projects they want. I submit to a blood test if they ask. I go to the office when they want. And I do it all with a smile. In return, I get funds that I use for my family needs.
Maybe you could consider your meetings and regulations as part of your own job.

I would not skip meetings “by accident” – you might find your payments skipping “by accident” as well.

Well said, @LuckyGuy.

So are they court appointed? Are you in a state funded program? Do your funds come from this program? I’m sorry to ask such intrusive questions. If your money comes from the state or if they are court appointed thenn they kind of do have the obligation to ensure that you make choices that allow you to eat all month long. They answer for that stuff and can be held accountable for what you do.

Short answer is it’s not ok

Also, exactly what “beliefs” are they pushing on you? Are you talking religious beliefs, or common sense beliefs, like, they believe you should be changing your eating habits?

They’re aren’t “curtailing your freedom”, they’re advising you on ways to improve your health/living situation/etc. It’s up to you whether you take the advice or not (I’m guessing not), but they’re not going to stop giving it as that’s part of their job.

Your money is yours to spend however you wish, unless it comes with explicit restrictions (some aid programs do, some don’t). But skipping these meetings could be a very bad idea as that might lead to a loss of benefits and services.

tl;dr: you’re just going to have to deal with it.

If you receive your monies from an agency they can monitor and control your use of the money. A bad position to be in is; they think you are indirectly harming yourself i.e. poor eating habits or use of food resources for candy bars. Worst position is that your health is being impacted, you could get institutionalized (locked unit) instead of a group home.

Short answer: never.

Long answer: If you are not honeys with a social worker who has your case, you can be cut off from any assistance. Government assistance programs are in place to keep people safe, and that means a holistic safe.

Purely hypothetical: If they gave you $250 food assistance cash each month, and you went out for a five course prime rib dinner the first three nights and spent it all, society wouldn’t feel much sympathy fore going hungry the next 27 days. You might get told to go to a soup kitchen every day.

So your case social worker may feel the need to be more directive with how you use the assistance you are getting.

Every. Single. Time. – Holden Caulfield

^^my previous statement. That’ supposed to be honest not honeys.

Damn auto-correct.

IF your social worker deems you incapable of safely caring for yourself and you stop going to meetings you will find yourself in a box surrounded by doctors and more people telling you what to do.
That can happen regardless of your opinion of being capable of caring for yourself. Don’t skip the meetings if there is any legal order for you to go. If you really, really want out… Ask casually if you are a ward of the system.
I’m not suggesting you are, but I’d hate to see you held for 72 hour evaluation because you thought you were “choosing what to eat and where to live” for yourself.

Maybe they recognize that your eating habits are putting you on the quick road to a heart attack.

As far as “do I have to,” if you live in public housing, you have to meet with workers there on a regular basis to go over your finances and living situation.

If you receive public moneys, you must meet with social workers to go over the same – your finances and living situation.

Like @LuckyGuy said, when we have jobs, we have to deal with certain things in order to get a paycheck. Look at the ladies’ questions that way – it’s the price you pay. At least you have your independence.

@all thanks .

@RedDeerGuy1 You have every right to be treated as a competent adult.

1. Write down a list of your complaints.

2.Call the social worker’s supervisor or write that supervisor. Whether writing or speaking, keep your information brief. Ask for a new social worker.

3. If they ask why, read each item off your list. Having the list is important. Stick to the list. Stick to the facts of actual events that happened to you.

From what I understand, @RedDeerGuy1 is spending most days sleeping upwards of 20 hours per day, living on fast food, which he has delivered at an outrageous price because he is unwilling to leave the house.

If the social worker were not actively trying to talk him out of this behaviour, they would not be doing their job.

@the thread

Persons with disabilities have every right to be treated as competent adults. It is not the place of any social worker to dictate living conditions to their clients. We people with disabilities make our own decisions.

I used to work for a program where we evaluated the home situations of Medicaid recipients. Sometimes people didn’t like what we told them or how we assessed them. They’d want a different worker. We called that “shopping” for a worker. That was not allowed. If people wanted the service we offered, they had to deal with the worker that was assigned to them. If they refused our entry, their service was discontinued.

Like @Seek said, the worker is doing their job. To agree with the lifestyle of someone who sleeps 20 hours a day and eats fried chicken and drinks soda, the worker would not be doing their job. No different from a doctor – if the doctor didn’t tell the patient he was killing himself, he wouldn’t be doing his job either. If someone smokes, the doctor is going to tell them they need to stop. That is the doctor’s job. In this case, it’s no different.

Independant from the OP, not every person with a disability is a competent adult. That status can also be changed in the eyes of the law, and once it has been changed it is a very, very hard hole to get out of. It is best not to dig it yourself.

For those who may not know, the OP is not living in the US.

@Seek has done an enormous disservice to @RedDeerGuy1 by inserting conjecture. We here on this virtual world of Fluther do not know anything about the lifestyle of the OP. We know nothing.

We know what he has said in the past, on other threads, about what he eats, drinks and his sleeping and exercise habits, @Hawaii_Jake.

He lives in Canada. He sleeps all day, gets 0 exercise, is at ~400 pounds, and orders delivery, and pays twice as much as the meal for that delivery.

@Dutchess_III That is evil.

@jca Have you stepped one foot inside where he lives? Do you know these things as fact from having seen them with your own eyes? I have read the same threads. Are you saying that you think he is not worth helping at this time, because in the past he was not worthy of your help because you disapproved of his lifestyle?

@Hawaii_Jake

@Seek isn’t inserting conjecture about TC’s lifestyle, she’s going by things TC himself has posted here.

@Darth_Algar I have read those threads, too. I also know from PMs and private emails that he does not sleep 20 hours/day.

This is sounding like a bad custody battle. I’m ok now. Sorry for bothering everyone @Hawaii_Jake thanks

@RedDeerGuy1 We’re all rooting for you and want the best for you. I just now realized you are talljasperman. I don’t know your whole story but it sounds like it’s time to get professional help and start living the life you were born to live.

@Hawaii_Jake: If he says whatever he says about his lifestyle, I would have no reason to believe he was lying. He said the same things repeatedly on many different threads.

I never said he is not worthy of help. I don’t know where you get that from what I wrote. My thoughts are the opposite. My thoughts are that the workers who are dealing with him are advocating for him to live a healthier life. Here on this site, we have encouraged him over and over to the point where Jellies have given up. We constantly urge him to eat better, take walks, drink less soda, join some groups, etc.

I am sure that @Dutchess_III and @Seek are in agreement.

I feel very strongly for TJM/TC/RDG, and hope, fervently, that he chooses at some point to take the advice he often asks for on this site, and somehow resents this social worker for offering.

@RedDeerGuy1
You have been on my mind. After reading your question, I was wondering what others might suggest. After reading the variety of responses, I am heartily disappointed. I can only imagine how you feel.
I’m not surprised at some positive supporters. They have some good suggestions. Keeping a good balance of support and caring.
What I didn’t expect were the attacks from others. Rather nasty attacks at that. It wasn’t kind at all.
I’m sorry that happened here to you. You wrote and shared, as everyone else does here, as more time goes by. Part of a community. Or as I thought.
Why would anyone take delight in delving into personal postings or responses, and yanking all out as justified judgement, is beyond me. Don’t get me started on the “Great Answer” responders and padding. Blank postings seem to be gaining in the GA category.
What matters above all is you. I hope that you are ok. I hope that you didn’t get your feelings hurt. I am aware of the number of years some know each other here, but nastiness isn’t a positive reaction to others, I don’t give a flying rat’s butt who does it.
You have some good friends, so PM them. For those who like to hassle and vent- let them bugger off. :)
I’m sorry for the nasty. You hang in and take good care.

@Hawaii_Jake How is that evil? If I’d made it up, I would agree. But I didn’t make it up. I’m simply repeating the the things talljasperman has said about himself multiple, multiple times.

He has told us that the government is paying for all of his living expenses. For that reason, they do have a say in how he spends the money.

I don’t understand how you can advocate just looking the other way. We’re all helping as best we can. Sometimes the things we say isn’t what he wants to hear, like in this thread.

I am curious to see if he has decided to submit to their twice a month meeting, or if he’s going to strike out on his own, and how he’s going to do that. We all do wish him luck. We have all along.

The only thing I advocated was about him, for him. Read in what you wish. But, no worries, I believe you already have. However, for all of your ‘caring’ you sure have an odd way of expressing it.

Do social workers ever work with their clients rather than simply tell them what to do? Do they ever ask the person what he would like to do with his life and then offer encouragement or offer suggestions or, better yet, work with the client to create a plan?

The attitude mentioned here of, we are paying you so you do what we say, does not seem right. The analogy with employment is off the mark. I get paid by my employer in order to make them more profitable. Both the OP and the social workers are being paid by the government. The social workers are being paid in order to improve people’s lives. Not knowing the details, it is hard to offer advice, though skipping out on the meetings is probably not a very good idea.

@LostInParadise Being a case worker is an arduous and often thankless job. Even not knowing the details you have a man wanting money but not guidance or feedback. It just doesn’t work that way.

@AdventureElephants hit the nail on the head.

Here’s another example. When I used to work for the Section 8 program, all the recipients had to do was come for a 15 minute interview once a year. In return, they got ¾ of their rent paid. Many didn’t show for the first appointment and then were given another appointment. If they didn’t keep that one, they were cut off. We who worked there used to marvel that they couldn’t show up for the first or for both. We used to say if someone paid our rent like that and all we had to do was come for the one appointment once a year, we’d gladly come. Yes we understood some people had genuine excuses like sickness or whatever, but still, not all had those solid excuses. I’ve worked for the government for over 20 years and there are issues like that in all programs. People don’t want to do the requirement but they love the hand out.

What was the purpose of the interview? Did you ever offer a hand up rather than just a handout, or was it just a hoop that the client had to jump through in order to receive benefits?

@LostInParadise I’m not sure you understand what a case worker does. It isn’t hoops, it’s all offering life coaching, advice, doing research on behalf of the client in order to hopefully improve their lot in life. It’s honestly disappointing how many clients find it annoying and would rather live a more dismal life than improve it.

@LostInParadise: Was your question for the OP or for me?

@LostinParadise. Going to a fifteen minute interview once a year can’t rightfully be considered jumping through a hoop for a huge reduction in your rent. They do need to verify that you still qualify and maybe have additional benefits coming. And why would you think that the social worker had more to offer than the govt. makes available? And when would this happen other than the yearly recertification? Your reasoning is flawed and at the same time your expectatlons of the social worker are unreasonably inflated.

Hand up…lol. No such thing, more like hand down IMO. I really wish we could give people a hand up but I have never once seen it.

Oh, gosh, I have @ARE_you_kidding_me. SRS services kept me and the kids alive and off the streets during those 4 years I was fighting to get on my feet.

The bad thing about it is, they make it so that you’d have to be stupid to actually replace those benefits with actual work. I mean, you you go to work and make a $300 a week, and suddenly they cut out your housing benefits and food stamps. Plus you have daycare costs that you didn’t have before. You end up taking a loss, no gain what so ever. It just doesn’t even make any financial sense.

@jca “We used to say if someone paid our rent like that and all we had to do was come for the one appointment once a year, we’d gladly come.”

And yet, something in the lives of those people prevented them from coming in. The scary thing is – if we were in their situation, it would prevent us from doing so, as well. It would be interesting to find out more about the lives of those people, and see whether we might be able to understand what’s holding them back. They probably need way more than financial help.

One vital thing that Reddeerguy forgot to mention,
That he had been threatened with obtaining “a treatment order”!
A treatment order is obtained for a person who is wholly unable to make decisions nor care for herself/himself..which is not the case with reddeerguy.
He has anxiety and get bullied by yes even social workers!
( or Outreach workers more likely…they do not have credentials,
and are JUST people filling in from off the street.}
Obviously these Outreach workers are not supervised well.
.so reddeerguy CAN and Should report them to their boss.
However..as I understand it now…
that another Social Worker
(? or Outreach worker (II hope not) has been assigned.
Be careful of well meaning people whom one may assume HAVE been trained in the Couselling Field.
A lot are JUST people off the street with no CREDENTIALS.
Reddeer guy is feeling hemmemed in by a system that does not police its staff well.
In the past I have had to call the Mental Health Advocate for answers and solutions where he told me of discrepancies as to handling people with needs that require excellant care.
He in turn advised me to check credentals and also laws pertaining to couselling.
Our Hospitals have notices posted IF any staff is out of line.
There is a snitch line for that very reason.
Check Nursing Home complaints online..where some staff really were not professional in handling the frailest in society.

Why was he “threatened” with a treatment order?

A judge would be the one deciding whether or not he can make decisions for himself, not an “outreach” worker, @Inspired_2write.

To be frank, TC’s own posting history has revealed that he has more going on than just anxiety.

One must remember that the story is being fed to us from only one angle. If, in previous threads, he has made comments about poor health or lifestyle choices, then unless you are HIS case worker you don’t know the full picture. If he was told he is being considered for a “treatment order,” then you should consider that it may be with valid reason. Case workers aren’t out to make everyone miserable… It makes their job pretty miserable to do such things. It isn’t a threat, but an honest remark from a case worker that your situation is not considered viable, safe, or healthy. If the OP feels it is a threat to manipulate him into attending sessions I dare say he isn’t seeing the whole picture clearly. I wouldn’t give advice frivoulously.

Go to the meetings. Open your mind that someone may be trying to help you, even if their methods or attitude leads you to believe otherwise. No one wants you to fail. No one wants to give you a “treatment order.” But understand that if you have already been told that an order is a possibility, don’t miss those meetings.

@longgone: You’re right about many types of public assistance clients, and in the case of a Section 8 recipient, they may have other issues going on that make it hard for them to get to the annual 15 minute interview, but the goal of the worker there is to get the info so the check can be cut to the landlord and the federal requirement met for information gathering. To take someone and delve into their personal problems is probably not going to be a successful endeavor and not going to get the job done.

@AdventureElephants ”If he was told he is being considered for a “treatment order,” then you should consider that it may be with valid reason.” Exactly. That’s why I asked for the specifics. But I probably won’t hear back.

@jca I agree, I wouldn’t suggest interference. I think we’d be shocked at many of these people’s stories, however. They are unable to go to a short interview, even while knowing what’s at stake. I can’t imagine how regularly they make things harder for themselves with this kind of behaviour.

And they often blame other people or say there were circumstances out side of their control…when the circumstances actually were in their control.

I have a question…if a person winds up affecting themselves, or others, due to a drug addiction they are often required, by law, to go to drug counseling. Nobody complains about that (except the people who have to go.) Why wouldn’t the same be true for someone who is dangerously obese and living off of the government because of it? Why should there be an uproar over “interference?” in that case?

If one is so hell bent on being negative I suggest that they NOT reply to posts using personal judgements that do more damage.
This thread is going far too personal than intended.
Better to uplift a person spirit than ‘crush’ them !
Why in the world would someone go out of their way to ‘hurt’ them is despicable.
Those who do so should be ashamed of themselves.

@Ica
A judge decided that he did NOT need anyone else to make decisions!
He is learning to stand on his own and that sometimes he makes mistakes as ANY one of us do!
That is what growing up is all about.
Making mistakes and learning on his own.
He is a highly functioning person that does NOT require interferance from others in HOW HE decides how his life is to be lived AS HE wants…that is freedom to choose.

@Dutchess_III

“And they often blame other people or say there were circumstances out side of their control…when the circumstances actually were in their control.”

Even though someone else may easily be able to thrive under similar circumstances, these people are not. We all, per definition, do all we can. Sure, you or I may be entirely capable of keeping appointments, paying the bills, or going to bed on time (count me out there), but why? Were we born with these abilities? If we weren’t, who taught us?

For me, it’s a work in progress. Keeping one appointment a year seems like child’s play, but going to bed on time or keeping the lawn tidy is a struggle. For someone else, those would be easy. My sister, who is much better with people than I am, is also way more chaotic in her scheduling.

Circumstances are meaningless when you don’t have the tools.

@Dutchess_III
“living off the govenment..”
It is because of statements like this that the world has problems with ‘homeless” people who are “afraid” of attacks like yours that they will not get the much need help that they require.
reddeerguy has worked when ever he is able to secure employment but is hindered by people like you whom attack him at every turn.
He is stigmatized by society and is not given the chance for employment as empolyers are reluctant to hire disabled people. You are NOT helping him so stop with the putdowns!
He is fighting for a normal life in an unjust society where he is targeted by people with no understanding of their disabilities nor the added burden of nasty people’s comments.

@Inspired_2write : According to what @RedDeerGuy1 writes himself, of himself, he sleeps 20 hours per day.

@jca Used to. Not always. I’m going through a medication change that makes me sleep at odd hours of the day. It also causes weight gain and hunger. I like to listen to the radio it’s cheaper than cable.

@jca
He once did, but not anymore.
Keep adding your negative comments and you will drive him back into that state again!

@longgone “Circumstances are meaningless when you don’t have the tools.”

This may be true, but we all know that it is impossible to judge whether one has the tools or simply has sufficient motivation. It’s often impossible for the person in the situation to judge which is the case.

So, the case worker is trying to offer sufficient motivation for the OP to live up to the terms of his disability payments. If he fails to respond, surely that indicates that he does not have the tools, as you put it above.

But then, how can he remain the master of his own fate? Should he? This is the question that the state will have to answer. What is the state’s responsibility if he becomes dangerously ill through neglect? Wouldn’t we blame the government then, if they knew he was on that path and refused to take responsibility for his safety?

@Inspired_2write No one is attacking the OP on this thread. He asked us for advice, and we are discussing the situation as requested. Should we pretend we have never heard of this person and his problems before? He has been extremely forthcoming about his problems in the past. How would it be helpful to ignore that?

@Inspired_2write: I am going off of what he wrote only one week ago:
http://www.fluther.com/186842/whats-your-morning-routine-on-days-when-youre-off-not-working/

@jca A lot has changed in a week. I was worried about my exams.

@jca
NEVER mind a week ago or other posts..concentrate ON THIS ONE POST and answer his question simply.
No need to drag up his entire lifetime on Fluther!
Nor is it required to delve into his personal problems either.
None of you are trained to COUNSEL him..so either support him or leave this thread!

@ dappled leaves
Just answer his question that is ALL HE WANTED.

Simple answer:

No. Do not lie to your social worker.

Tell the truth about your situation and the efforts you are making.

If you feel they are being unreasonable, discuss with them why you feel that way.

Lying, skipping appointments, and throwing up roadblocks will not assist the social worker to find in your favor.

TIME TO END THIS .

@Inspired_2write The OP understands perfectly well the difference between the General and Social sections. If you were he, you would have put it in General. How do we know that your wishes and his are the same? You do not speak for him.

@Seek Thank you.

@dappled_leaves ok I would like this question to be put in General. Or closed.

@dappled leaves
I am his Mother, and I talk With him not AT him.
He is hurt by insenstive comments.

Also, I apologize if I was out of line earlier. @RGD, you know I consider you a friend and I have every hope you are taking good care of yourself daily.

@Seek says it the way I feel, too. _Simple answer:
No. Do not lie to your social worker.
Tell the truth about your situation and the efforts you are making.
If you feel they are being unreasonable, discuss with them why you feel that way.
Lying, skipping appointments, and throwing up roadblocks will not assist the social worker to find in your favor._

@RedDeerGuy1 “ok I would like this question to be put in General. Or closed.”

Then please report it to the mods. They are the people who can do that.

@dappled_leaves You bring up good questions, and I can’t answer them. None of us know the OP in real life. I hope he takes care of himself. I think him reaching out on Fluther is a good thing, that’s for sure – and when a gentle and kind person criticizes a system we know is far from flawless, then I’m inclined to at least accept that whoever is dealing with him may not be doing a perfect job.

My post wasn’t about the OP, though, but about the discussion going on because of it. Blaming and guilt-tripping others because they fail to live up to our standards is neither fair nor helpful. We spend a lot of time concentrating on discussing what these standards are, but ultimately, they are meaningless. It starts in early childhood, with frowny faces and “You could do better” from Kindergarten teachers. That’s a faulty assumption. Under the circumstances, this particular child could not have done better. A different child might have been able to, but this one – nope. Not at this point. He is lacking the tools – and, yes, motivation is an important tool. Maybe the most important one. But, contrary to popular belief, it is not something you can create by just wishing hard enough. Not to mention that those who truly lack all motivation are probably not wishing.

@longgone Your response makes you sound like a “nice person”, but you are missing a few key things in my post (which you are responding to).

First, my questions are, in fact, general and not specific to the OP’s situation.

Second, I am utterly sympathetic to the OP, as are most of the people on this thread.

Third, you reiterate your point about what certain people are incapable of, without answering my actual question – then what is the responsibility of the state, on whom such people are financially and socially dependent? If the person is not capable, of course we feel sympathy. But then what? No one here is advocating for wishing harder. I have no idea where that comes from.

@dappled_leaves Hm. If I came across as patronizing, I apologize. I’m not trying to sound like a “nice person”. I don’t have much of an agenda here.

I’ll try to answer your questions, though I really don’t consider myself an expert on this topic.

e all know that it is impossible to judge whether one has the tools or simply has sufficient motivation. It’s often impossible for the person in the situation to judge which is the case.

I consider “motivation” one of the tools, I’m not sure how to separate it from the other ones. Certainly, if there is no motivation, that’s a major tool missing. I agree that in many cases, no-one can say for sure which tools may be missing.

So, the case worker is trying to offer sufficient motivation for the OP to live up to the terms of his disability payments. If he fails to respond, surely that indicates that he does not have the tools, as you put it above.

I guess so, yeah. Though I don’t believe the motivation offered is very helpful. I went to battle with social workers on my grandma’s behalf recently. They were patronizing and unkind, very openly so.

But then, how can he remain the master of his own fate?

That depends. How many tools are missing? Have they been available at some point? Are there people in his life which may be able to provide some of the tools, or become tools?

Should he?

If at all possible, yes.

What is the state’s responsibility if he becomes dangerously ill through neglect? Wouldn’t we blame the government then, if they knew he was on that path and refused to take responsibility for his safety?

Yes, some of us would. Friends and family of the ill person very likely would. Assigning blame is very human, but I don’t believe it ever does any good.

If the person is not capable, of course we feel sympathy

No, we don’t, and that’s my point. I do, and you do – but, as just one example, I went to school with a girl who would regularly state that all people on government support are losers. I have neighbours who rant about “all the people” who “spend their days sitting on the couch”. I have a “friend” who says that anyone on state support should be fined for having children, because that system would eradicate our society’s problems.

So, while you and I may be on the same page, the world is not. That’s what I am most interested in discussing. The state’s responsibility, while an interesting topic, is less important to me than how people look at each other’s faults. Ultimately, governments work toward the world their voters want to see.

I am confused again. A judge has already decided he is competent to live on his own, so exactly what is the problem here? Can’t he just show the social workers the decree? Why does he even have social workers he has to report to?

@Inspired_2write _“If one is so hell bent on being negative I suggest that they NOT reply to posts using personal judgements that do more damage.
This thread is going far too personal than intended.
Better to uplift a person spirit than ‘crush’ them !
Why in the world would someone go out of their way to ‘hurt’ them is despicable.
Those who do so should be ashamed of themselves.“_

No one is hell bent on being negative here. For that matter no one really is being negative. Nor “going out of their way to hurt him”. Everyone on this thread has been patient and helpful in answering Talljasperman’s questions time and and time again. He continually asks for advice and his given helpful advice time and time and time again. Advice that he apparently never really follows.

What do you do when someone constantly asks about how to improve their situation, but then doesn’t seem the least bit inclined to try, or to even want, to improve their situation? There comes a point where being sensitive and coddling is not helpful and frank talk is called for.

Since you’re his mother, may I ask what you do to help him? I might be mistaken, and apologies if I am, but I’ve gotten the impression that you’re barely in his life.

@longgone Thank you. If I’ve followed your response correctly, I feel we’re actually very much on the same page. This is why I wanted to follow up – because before that post, it actually sounded as if we were coming at this from very opposite directions.

“No, we don’t, and that’s my point. I do, and you do ”

The only reason I started posting on this thread is that people here are being accused rather loudly of being unsympathetic. And while, as you say, on a population level, there may be many who are unsympathetic, I think almost everyone who posted here (if not everyone, I haven’t gone back to reread) is very supportive of the OP. We wish him well, and want to see him doing better on all fronts. The accusations are unwarranted.

We were referred to, above, as being negative. Nobody is being negative. We’re being realistic. We can coddle him but he will face “realistic” when he goes to these agencies.

So many Jellies have given him positive encouragement for months. Many told him to try to eat better, cut out soda, take walks, whatever. Nothing but positivity. Nobody on this site wishes him ill will.

”“No, we don’t, and that’s my point. I do, and you do ””….that’s classic Fluther! And I’m keeping it forever and ever!

@dappled_leaves I assumed our views would be similar, yeah.

@Dutchess_III Hello? That’s my quote you’re quoting, and I demand to be offered and guaranteed due and ample recognition for the publication of what are and would always come to be my very own, personal, highly intelligent and awesomely structured as well as thought-out thoughts and opinions!!?!

@longgone I think she’s referring to Fluther’s love of taking a devil’s advocate stance. I do it myself often enough. ;)

If I were the OP, I’d rather go see the social worker at the appointed time, rather than skip the appointment and have her show up unexpectedly at my door.

[Mod says] FYI though we sometimes move questions from General to Social, allowing for more free-wheeling discussion, we almost never move a question from Social to General because it’s unfair to retroactively impose restrictions on those who have already given “Social-atyle” answers.

I’ll see to it that you get your just recognition, @longgone!

Actually @dappled_leaves, I just read it with no context around it and it just struck me as very funny! And very Fluther. :D