General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

How might one ask another if they have a girlfriend and or boyfriend without straight up asking them?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3158points) July 24th, 2008

If you want to find out if someone may have a girlfriend or boyfriend, what would you say, or do? Not making it obvious that you wanted to find out.

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13 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

But you do want to find out. Why not just ask them?

The_Inquisitor's avatar

I don’t really want to ask directly.. . any suggestions?

aidje's avatar

Some possibilities, in order of preference:
1. Hope that they have such information posted on Facebook.
2. Ask someone whom you trust (as close a friend as possible) and who knows the person better than you do.
3. Come at the question sideways. In other words, try to find a way to get them to say something that answers the question without you having to actually ask it.

EnzoX24's avatar

First off, describe the situation. Where do you know the person from? How long have you known them? Do you talk to them on a regular basis? If not, how often?

aaronou's avatar

Yep, I agree with aidie, check facebook and myspace. It a stalker’s paradise.

EnzoX24's avatar

If all of the above fails, you can use this scenario:

You start a normal conversation with them via instant messaging, phone, or in person. You explain to them that there is this person you like, but aren’t but you aren’t sure how will start up a conversation with them. You then ask how they approached their boyfriend/girlfriend. If they explain they don’t have one you are good, but if they actually answer they are taken.

Now depending on the answer you will be feeling differently and will want to express that. If they answer in the way that you want them to, you will be most likely overwhelmed with joy. If you don’t want them to have any ideas that you like them right away, just say, “Finally! Someone who knows how hard this is!” Or my best suggestion would be to ask right there.

If it is answer you are not looking for I can’t imagine you’d be feeling that chereful after hearing it, so if you sound kinda depresed and can’t hide it just let them tell their story and say “Oh… I dunno if that’ll work for me…. I’m just gonna have to think think this out.”

I hope you get the answer you want, and if you do, try to go for it.

aidje's avatar

Personal opinion: I have a feeling EnzoX24’s approach would actually be incredibly transparent. I wouldn’t suggest that approach if you’re going for stealth.

marinelife's avatar

Find one of your friends who knows one of their friends and have your friend ask their friend. At least that was the sort of thing we used to do when I was your age.

btko's avatar

You want to know because you are interested in the person, right? Best thing to do is ask them out right

gailcalled's avatar

Hi, want some coffee? How about them Mets? Wasn’t the algebra homework a bitch? Dating anyone?

jlm11f's avatar

The way I have usually been asked is someone strikes up a conversation and then randomly asks “how do you even meet your boyfriend when you take so many classes?” etc etc. Now, some people might think that as transparent, but I am inattentive and maybe a bit slow, and so I rarely catch on.

In general, if you converse with someone long enough, it should become very easy because most people mention their S/O every now and then anyway so you probably won’t have to ask. I am a big fan of the “talking and getting to know someone a bit” before asking them out (and that way the person doesn’t feel they are being asked out based on looks alone).

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@Enzo, the situation is, there’s this guy who works with me at the same place, but different jobs. I talk to him and have conversations, and am interested to find out if he has a girlfriend or not, then just to get to know him as good friends.

answerjill's avatar

Here is something that I have tried, but it is not foolproof… I invite a bunch of people – including the object of my affections – to an event, party, whatever. I say that people can bring a significant other. Then, I wait to see if he asks to being a significant other. As I said before, this is not foolproof, for a variety of reasons.

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