Social Question

th3dream3r's avatar

Why don't many women/girls approach men/boys?

Asked by th3dream3r (85points) March 29th, 2016

Maybe it is cultural difference, I don’t know. I am from West Africa. I have been in the America for a while now. One thing I have noticed recently is that many women/girls won’t or don’t approach men/boys. It is as if they want the guy to make the first move and approach them. I mean if you are interested in someone, why not just approach them. After all you never know if you will ever see them again. Where I am from women/girls are not afraid to walk up to a man/boy they like.

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9 Answers

Here2_4's avatar

Women do approach men, but it is less frequent than men approaching women. Usually the one’s who do already know the man, and wants to express her interest in him.
Are you shy? Do you have difficulty approaching someone who interests you?
I believe you are male. Am I right? About how old are you?

dxs's avatar

I’d say it’s just tradition; the culture.

Tea_Gryphon's avatar

I’ve noticed that too, but almost any relationship I’ve been in, I approached the guy first (I’m a woman). I also always seemed to be interested men who happened to be more of the shy type so maybe that’s why.. if I waited on them nothing would have happened haha.

But I don’t know, I guess in media and entertainment it’s usually always been the man to pursue the woman so I would assume from very early on it’s engrained into us.

Soubresaut's avatar

I agree it’s culture. I think we talk a lot, ironically enough, about a woman’s ability to approach men first—but we still treat it more as an exception. Not sure if we treat it as an exception simply because it’s less common, or if it’s less common because we treat is as an exception… though if I had to lean one way, I’d choose the latter. High schools still host Sadie Hawkins dances, movies will make a big deal of a woman approaching whoever she’s interested in, people make a big deal of who’s the “guy” in a relationship that deviates from a “traditional” dynamic for whatever reason… all little reminders of the supposed “norm,” either through an emphasized exception to the “rule,” or an attempt to conform an exception back to the “rule.” “Active” got attached to an idea of masculinity, and “passive” got attached to an idea of femininity a long time ago, and although that association has been lessened, I don’t think it’s as gone as we (at least in the US) like to say it is. At least, in my experience, it’s not as far gone.

PriceisRightx26's avatar

Same boat as Tea^^

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Women usually are the first to act but in a way that allows the male to have the clear to approach

NerdyKeith's avatar

They do approach men in my country. But it doesn’t happen so often. Its mostly due to the sexism left over from the 1950s. This mentality that its only the mans job to take control. Given time society in the west will get over itself and we’ll have true equality.

yankeetooter's avatar

Shyness on my part, other than that I would say social mores are still somewhat in play here.

Soubresaut's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me—that reminds me of a game my mom used to play with her friend at a bar. She would bet her friend a beer that she could get a specific guy to approach her just by giving him glances…. and she would usually get the beer.

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