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NerdyKeith's avatar

What is your idea of a perfect wedding?

Asked by NerdyKeith (5464points) April 7th, 2016

One day I would like to get married, have to find a boyfriend first though haha.

Anyway, what is your idea of the perfect wedding? In terms of reception and ceremony. I know quite a few of you are married or have been married in the past, so feel free to share what that was like (if you feel comfortable sharing that).

I like the idea of a park wedding myself. Like maybe in the Pheonix Park in Dublin. But the weather in Ireland can be very changable at times. Then a nice reception in a hotel function room afterwords with a band, great food and drink.

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34 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

One that isn’t stressful.

NerdyKeith's avatar

@Dutchess_III Oh yes I totally agree. No wonder many people hire wedding planners. Providing they can afford it.

Although restricting a wedding to just close friends and family helps too.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My son’s wedding was just close family and friends. I can’t imagine the horror if it had been more than that.

From the time Rick proposed to the time we got married was 2 weeks. It was small, out at the lake. And it was SO FREAKING STRESSFUL!! After this thread goes on a bit I’ll tell you the worst part….

Pachy's avatar

The one neither LOVE nor money could ever induce me to having again. ;-)

MooCows's avatar

My husband and I got married in the pastor’s study
with our families only. Then we went to our favorite
Italian restaurant where our closest friends surprised
us there and we had a eat and drink 3 hour party!
Then they followed us home where my mom had
a small wedding cake and champagne….it was perfect!
And really inexpensive!

janbb's avatar

A few months before the baby is born.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

The SO and I have most of the details planned out. Book a date at the local registrar office, invite two witnesses, take a couple of photos at the booth in the train station, and then head home with an Indian takeaway. Maybe toss in a homemade cake and bit of champagne.

We are both private people who prefer to avoid the limelight. The commitment is what is important to us, not the ceremony.

ragingloli's avatar

One done with a few clicks online.

NerdyKeith's avatar

@ragingloli You’re not suggesting a mail order husband are you? Hehe

NerdyKeith's avatar

@ragingloli Lol well if that’s what you want, power to you

Seek's avatar

One that is not legally binding.

Pachy's avatar

I neglected to add to my above comment that it came with an apology to all romantics who read it. And believe it or not, I’m still one myself—just not the remarrying kind.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My wedding was supposed to be simple, but my fiance’s daughter stepped in, wanted to be my “wedding coordinator.” It was pretty disastrous, and cost about 3 times what I had budgeted and we were pretty damn poor at the time with what we were bringing home at the shop.
She made me choose colors. I chose maroon and gold.

She sewed. I found a cute, flowing white skirt at Goodwill, bought some pretty gold and maroon ribbon fabric to sew around the bottom of the skirt. It was pretty intricate and probably 4” wide.
When she got it back to me she had not used the ribbon I had provided because she was a little short. Instead of asking me to get more, she dug out some super cheap ass ribbon that she had laying around that was maybe ¾” wide and sewed it on. It had the result of causing the skirt to bunch up in the tackiest way. When she handed it to me she said, “I didn’t have enough of that other so I found this and put it on.” Then, laughing she said, “What the hell, it’s maroon, right?!!” Laugh laugh.
I was….speechless. That night I told Rick I was not wearing that skirt. He got really defensive of his daughter, said I’d really hurt her feelings! So, for the first time in my life, and probably the last, I flat turned on the water works to manipulate him. I was sobbing and wailing until he finally realized it was MY fucking wedding, and MY feelings were paramount! God damn it! When he relented I turned them off as quickly as I turned them on. This is what I wore. $3.00 at a garage sale.

Also, she baked. She offered to bake a cake for us. A couple of days after the wedding she wanted to know when I was going to pay her for the cake. It was $50. I was absolutely floored again. I thought it was a gift. Hell, I would have gotten a sheet cake from Dillions for ten bucks if I’d known she was going to charge me!

And she put all these foo foo crap things together, like fake flowers in tulle and shit that I neither wanted or needed and I had to pay for it all.

jca's avatar

I’ve been to a lot of weddings, mostly fancy, some very fancy, not too many recently as most people my age are more likely to divorce than get married haha.

I went to one once for a coworker who had a falling out with her family, and instead of paying for empty seats, she invited us coworkers. I remember they had an ice bar with cordials on it, and an ice slide. The bartender would put the shot of alcohol on the slide so by the time it got to the bottom, it was ice cold.

I don’t know, I have to think about it more. I went to one on a cruise around the tip of Manhattan. Unfortunately, it was extremely hot and humid that day, but when you do something outdoors, you get what you get.

I like a good DJ or band. Usually I prefer a DJ. I’ve experienced a lot of sucky DJs. I hate the usual wedding songs – the garter, the bouquet, the chicken dance, the Macarena, etc. I can’t stand that stuff.

To me, the food is secondary. The cocktail hour is usually the best part. The entrees are usually the “3 choices” – BORING!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, we provided some beer, @jca. Not much tho. We also grilled burgers and corn on the cob and I made baked beans.

Seek's avatar

I wanted to get married in the woods.

Enough family members that I didn’t particularly like anyway complained, so I agreed to have it in the church, as long as we could hold an outdoor reception.

The whole thing was hellacious. My step-uncle was the pastor of the church, and thus the officiant. His daughter had a crush on my husband and so a grudge against our relationship. He did about a half-hour of stand-up “comedy” before the service began. Then his wife had the caterers set up all the food and everything indoors in the fellowship hall instead of outside where the tables and tents and cake and everything else was, and didn’t tell me anything.

So hubby and I and our wedding party did a quick photo session and went outside and no one is outside and then basically everyone just ate and left and we had no clue what happened and it was basically awful.

and four months later I stopped talking to all of them and my life was better from then on.

For our tenth anniversary I want a handfasting in the woods. IN THE WOODS, DAMMIT.

canidmajor's avatar

How did the “Perfect Wedding” Q devolve into the “I hated my wedding” rant?

NerdyKeith's avatar

@Seek Ah I’m sorry some of your family were not supportive to your wishes.

You could always renew your wedding vows and have the cermany you really wanted. And having it in the woods sounds awesome.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Seeks family was an asshole.

Seek's avatar

One giant asshole. All of them. Together.

Anyway, I said all that to say, having exactly the wedding you want without catering to anyone else’s whiny complaints, is the way to have a perfect wedding.

NerdyKeith's avatar

@Seek Well said, couldn’t have said it any better.

flutherother's avatar

There is a lot to be said for a minimalist wedding. Two friends and a meal. It worked for us.

CWOTUS's avatar

Someone else’s

janbb's avatar

My wedding was 22 people, a registry office ceremony and then a “wedding breakfast” at his Nana’s house. It was in England and it was lovely.

If I married again, I’d probably do it small again – outside in a park with a picnic or barbeque afterward and everyone in casual clothes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Mine was supposed to be casual too, @janbb. It was only supposed to cost about $150,most of that for food.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

One where you are surrounded by people who love you. Whether that be two people or 20. I don’t really like the idea of a huge wedding. We had (I think) less that 20 people at our wedding. We got married on an island. It was like a party with friends and the wedding was part of the weekend. We had a lovely time.

There are no rules these days, so as I say, as long as the people you love and care about are there, do whatever you really want to do.

Cupcake's avatar

We got married in a park. We rented a shelter, but the wedding itself was on borrowed chairs in a circle of trees. I just wanted siblings/parents/grandparents, but hubby wanted aunts/uncles and a few friends too… so we did that. Maybe 40 people? We had friends do photos. We printed our own invitations and programs. Family members read some quotes and poems interspersed with singing by friends. My son played a song on his saxophone (he was 12). We officiated our own service (although it was mostly hubby because I cried a lot). Hubby even whipped out his camera part way through the program and started taking photos. I was horrified, but those are some of my favorite photos.

The reception was open to all. We sent out an electronic invite. Over a hundred people… I don’t remember the total. We provided meat and had a couple of guys grill. The rest was pot-luck. We provided 3 sheet cakes (vanilla with raspberry filling, chocolate, and carrot with cream cheese frosting). Our moms were our witnesses and signed our marriage certificate. We had a kids table where they could color and leave us little messages or drawings. The kids played soccer and volleyball. We had music playing in the background.

Great day. Under $1000, including shelter rental, meat, cake, some homemade favors (sprigs of lavender glued into a small ring of cinnamon sticks, wrapped with a lavender ribbon with a little tag that had our names and the date on it), programs, invitations, and all of our clothes (hubby and son in khakis and white shirts, me in a white sundress off the clearance rack at Gap). My parents paid half.

We were engaged for just under 3 months.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My son built me a wedding arch on the morning of, out of very thick and beautiful vines. Turns out it was poison ivy. He had to go to the hospital the next day. Everyone at the wedding got poison ivy.

I love my son.

NerdyKeith's avatar

@Dutchess_III Omg wow. Ah at least his heart was in the right place.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. I love my son. He is so awesome. Here is the arch the next day.
Another View

ragingloli's avatar

I bet the poison ivy was entirely intentional.
He did it for the lulz.

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