General Question

2late2be's avatar

What would you do if you live in a second floor apartment with a 2 year old toddler and your downstairs neighbor complaints about your toddler to be banging during the day?

Asked by 2late2be (2286points) July 28th, 2008

i just cant keep my baby on the bed or seated watching a movie, but i know that the bangig maybe bother other people, what can i do? what would you do?

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27 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Carpeting? Or rugs that are almost wall-to-wall so if you move, they go with you?

poofandmook's avatar

If it’s during the day, and this may sound harsh, it’s not your problem. You pay rent. As long as it’s not during unacceptable hours, they need to suck it up.

2late2be's avatar

well im not gonna but rugs, my baby loves to run from one side to another, this is during the day, but i dont want to have my neighbor on knocking my door everyday telling me that she is trying to put the baby to sleep and she cant because of my baby being banging…. i dont know what to do…

ccatron's avatar

there’s not a whole lot you can do aside from buying rugs or not permitting your child to bang on the floor…even with rugs you’re only masking a little bit of the sound…it’s part of living in an apartment building. people just have to learn to deal with noises or get out.

gailcalled's avatar

Either you 1)baffle or muffle the sound,2) move or 3)live with an annoying neighbor. I can think of no other choices. And toddlers have to toddle; you can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) immobilize him.

gailcalled's avatar

My kids as toddlers rushed around like maniacs; the carpet didn’t hinder their physical mobility or skills.

dragonflyfaith's avatar

I kind of agree with poof here. Look at your lease, mine has noise restrictions from 10 pm to 8 am. Outside of those times there’s nothing anyone could do. And even if it was outside of those times, I really doubt a cop would do anything about a toddler’s footsteps anyway.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

yeah tell your neighbor to suck it up. she shouldn’t have moved into a bottom floor apartment if she didn’t want the noise. I usually seek out the top floor rooms if possible just to avoid having to listen to that crap. Don’t let her bully you about this.

gailcalled's avatar

2late2be: That’s the way to cement relations with your neighbor…Tell her to “suck it up, move to a top floor and stop being a bully.” Works every time

LKidKyle1985's avatar

your right, i guess she should strap her kid down to make her neighbor happy.

poofandmook's avatar

@gail: In all fairness though, it’s not fair to a toddler to try to restrain him… he has no control over where he lives. Plus, someday, that downstairs neighbor’s baby is going to be a toddler and their toddler might like to bang on the walls instead of the floor. And then their neighbors will complain to them. Maybe “suck it up” was a little harsh, but the reality of living in an apartment is such. Leases have quiet hours indicated, and anything not included in those quiet hours really can’t be argued with, especially if we’re talking about a normal, growing child’s development being stunted because they’re restrained to watching TV all the time just so the downstairs neighbor – who must’ve known the risks of being in a ground floor apartment – has dead quiet all the time. Why is one baby more important than the other?

This sounded a little confrontational upon re-reading it; gail, this wasn’t my intention. Really only the first few lines were directed toward you and the rest was me rambling :)

gailcalled's avatar

@LKID:There are ways of negotiating and compromising that work better than antagonizing your opponent.

@Poof; I never said that. See me ^^: “And toddlers have to toddle; you can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) immobilize him.”

And then I added this: “My kids as toddlers rushed around like maniacs; the carpet didn’t hinder their physical mobility or skills.” But we lived,above another family and the carpet did baffle the noise.

poofandmook's avatar

@gail: No I was talking about your response to 2late2be. “2late2be: That’s the way to cement relations with your neighbor…Tell her to “suck it up, move to a top floor and stop being a bully.” Works every time” I guess my point was there are really only two options.. limit the child or tell the neighbor to get a grip. Like I said, I was mostly rambling. Sorry! I should have been clearer! :)

gailcalled's avatar

@Poof: I was being ironic (and failing in the attempt)..Sorry. I should have been clearer also. What about option three which is to pad the floors?

poofandmook's avatar

@gail: It doesn’t really make enough of a difference. She’d have to get some very thick carpets and they’re pretty expensive. I know, I lived on the first floor once. Total waste of money.

gailcalled's avatar

When we were in an apartment, I bought nice rugs and took them with me…I had people both above and below me. Maybe the soundproofing was better. True that wall-to-wall is costly and stays with landlord.

Still, we haven’t solved her dilemma.

2late2be: can you take your little guy to the park and run him ragged for a few hours during the summer time?

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@gail Sure she could take him to the park but everyday? It’s not a solution and she shouldn’t have to.

I’m moving from a one story to a three story building and I know that noise from upstairs is something I’m going to have to deal with. If I had someone above me doing construction on their tile floor at 11 pm, I’d be upset but a toddler has every right to run around during the day. I really doubt the baby downstairs is being kept up by the noise, the woman is just picking. I had my choice of floors and no matter what floor you’re on, there’s going to be an issue. Downstairs, I’d have the issue of noise from upstairs, same with the second floor and the third floor I’d have to hike up three flights of stairs with an infant. So we picked the first floor and will just have to deal from 8 am to 10 pm.

gailcalled's avatar

@dragon: good answer. Why are you still here, by the way? It is already the 28th.

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@Gail Sorry! Time is quickly running out for you isn’t it? I swear this afternoon I was almost thinking it was getting to be time. But after an hour of them not getting closer than 10 minutes apart it died off all together.

gailcalled's avatar

Well, as Scarlett O’hara said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

poofandmook's avatar

dragonfly, I asked if you were trying to be the first woman to deliver on Fluther because you were still there during contractions LOL

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Well when you tell her to suck it up, just do it diplomatically, just say your kid is a toddler and you can’t stop him from running around or force him to step softly. I mean really, this woman has some guts asking you to quiet your kid down, when all he is doing is runnin around. You don’t have to be rude about it, just say, there’s nothing you can do to stop it, and unless she has a better idea, you are powerless to prevent it.

2late2be's avatar

@gailcalled, we live in Texas, the temperature during the hours that the neighbor came and told me about my baby (1 pm-3pm) is 100+, i will not expose my baby to that temperature in the park just to let the lady be happy, my baby goes to the park when the temperature is down… (7.30pm-9.00pm) i think i will have to call to the office and see what can we do, but my baby will mostly keep running all around the apartment…. thank you everyone for your answers!

theabk's avatar

Even though it does seem like your neighbor is being unreasonable, you could try de-escalating the situation by asking what time her baby takes its nap and in what room, and then keeping your baby out of the room above during those hours. (I realize babies don’t always sleep at predictable times of course…)

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@poof I was timing and just told him “Not today, NO! Because I said so and I’m the mom!” Seems like it worked. Sadly if my hospital had wifi, I’d probably take my laptop and try to fluther from there.

babygalll's avatar

Just ask your neighbor. Where would you rather him play? In your apartment or in the street?

gailcalled's avatar

2late2be; Having never lived in the south, I have no conception of what it must be like. But I do understand perfectly why you choose to be inside. You have a dilemma, it seems. I hope that you and your neighbor can work it out.

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