Why are people so cynical about love?
I notice a trend where many people seem to be cynical about love and relationships. I have had some bad experiences in the past but have found a wonderful person I hope to share my life with.
While some of my friends have been supportive, I noticed that a few have been a little bitter about my relationship. They resent the attention I give to my partner and seem to project their own issues with lack of love on in their lives on to me. I hope that they can find happiness too and I try not to be sanctimonious or “rub it in their faces” but I also can’t hide fact that I am happy with my partner.
I notice that in general, society seems to encourage people in their 20s to hook up with as many people as possible. I am not a prude and I certainly participate in some of that in the past, but now that I am moving beyond it, it is hard not to feel like an outcast at times.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
15 Answers
There is no love. There is only lust, dressed up in a costume.
How wonderful it is that you’ve found someone so right for you, and that you and your partner are starting a good life together.
I’m guessing that any bitter reactions stem from jealously. Other people’s happiness can be harsh mirrors of someone’s own disappointments and (self-perceived) failings.
Congratulations. Stay an outcast. Get back to us in five years.
@Love_my_doggie. Thank you. We have our ups and downs like all couples but we have been together a couple of years now and always come to a fair resolution. I think that that what keeps us going is the mutual respect that we have for each other and that we look out for each other’s best interests.
I do notice a trend with my friends. My friends who are happy and secure in their own lives, whether or not they are single or in a relationship, are pleased that I have found somebody and they also enjoy his company. However, my friends who have had bad luck in their own relationships seem really bitter and put out by the fact that I am planning to share my life with somebody
Love stinks
One big issue with love is that it is almost never at an equal level. Someone always loves the other more, and it often varies in intensity. That leaves a wide port for crushed emotions.
Because love is a word of many meanings to many people, and what love may be to one may not be love to another. So many meanings, so many assumptions, so very little understanding of what it really is or could be.
Count me in on the cynicism, but, not from any old personal wounds, more like personal growth, maturity and reality. Relationships require a lot of work and investment, a lot of communication, a lot of compromise, a lot of tolerance. All things many become less willing to do and give as they get older. As I said in another thread, it’s a “been there, done that” scene for me now in my 50’s.
At 26 you are still willing to go down the relational path, slog through the ups & downs and issues. At 56, often after decades of relationships or marriage and a divorce you’re willing to dump someone for the tiniest annoyance. haha
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. lol
This is why nature and raging hormones and birthing babies and relationship drama is meant for those in the 20’s, it would kill you in your 50’s and you’ve lost interest anyway.
I don’t need anyone to aggravate my blood pressure anymore, though it still happens with work related stuff.
LeavesNoTrace- I think you’re right that some are supportive and others are bitter from their own experiences.
Every relationship is a roll of the dice and sometimes it doesn’t work out like my marriage for example, but playing it safe and never putting yourself out there to be vulnerable and take a chance at love if you’re able sounds like kind of an empty life to me.
That’s just my opinion or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment, who knows?
I do believe that it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Probably because its so hard to find love and maintain a relationship. But I’m happy for you.
Cynical, schminical. Love is a verb and the word’s usage today is a watered down, sexually oriented trumped up overused to the point of meaninglessness substitute for a desire to possess.
It’s the fruit of bitter experience coupled with everyday observations on the wreckage and heartache trailing the staggering percentage failing to beat the odds. But it’s like the salmon heading upstream. Visible undisguised evidence of guaranteed struggle and nearly certain misery ending in death, and the fish just keep on comin.
As individuals we all harbor the conceit that “I’m gonna make it cause I’m special”.
@jak I’m sorry so many people feel this way!
It is not a question of “feeling”, I am simply a clinical, detached observer. .....Now I need to watch an episode of MST3K.
I took the purple pill years ago.
It almost never works out. One or the other leaves and the other person is like WTF did I do that was so wrong?
https://youtu.be/ZU3Ld6rAgeI
The other person does not want a hero to save them, no Knight with already tested mettle. They play you until thy find something better then they move on.
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
