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Sunshinegirl11's avatar

First date went well, but haven't heard from him?

Asked by Sunshinegirl11 (1107points) June 11th, 2016 from iPhone

So 2 weeks ago I went on an awesome date with this guy I used to work with. I didn’t know him that well but we always made eye contact and smiled at each other so I asked him out! He said yes and we went downtown together.

During the date we found out that we have a lot in common. We were laughing literally the whole time! It was so fun. He was very obviously flirting with me… He called me cute and attractive multiple times. He would subtly show off his muscles and I would tease him about it. He mentioned taking me to dinner and so many other activities. (He mentioned these multiple times!) He was kind of touchy, but not in a bad way. We would also stand really close to each other, our shoulders would brush constantly. When the date ended, he walked me to my car and gave me an extra long and tight hug (way to long to be just friends!). Later that night, he then texted me saying that he had such a great time and he hopes to do it again soon! I said let me know his schedule and when he can and we can set something up!

Well that was 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him! He does own his own business and is going to school so I know he’s busy, but he hasn’t even texted me….

Was he just leading me on?

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20 Answers

jca's avatar

Why don’t you text him and ask him how he’s doing?

Response moderated
janbb's avatar

There’s no way we can know. Just reach out casually and see what response you get. If it’s none, then you’ll have your answer.

stanleybmanly's avatar

If he’s worth the trouble, take the initiative.

Buttonstc's avatar

Since you were the one to initiate this first date, maybe hes waiting for you to initiate further.

Thats just one of several possibilities. But why not just send him a brief text asking how things are going.

Random strangers on an internet site cant possibly know whats in his head. Only you can determine that. Send him a brief text and see what type of response you get and then go from there.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

He’s probably thinking the same thing. Text him.

FlutherBug's avatar

Men are usually the ones to pursue women if they like them. In this day and age there can be tons of reasons (busy with school or work, he’s thinking you might initiate it again, etc) but I think for the most part if a guy likes a girl or wants to be with a girl then you’ll know it….. and if you have to chase a guy then it isn’t worth it for me (my personal opinion).

I would suggest to casually text him like a friend and see what’s up :) Maybe ask how he’s doing and if he wants to hang out again, what he thought about the date, etc

You just never know :)

and others have stated we can’t honestly possibly know what is going on in someone else’s head :) I would suggest if you want to just text him or see what’s up…. Nothing bad can happen from it.

FlutherBug's avatar

He could have gone on vacation, maybe one of his family or relative is sick in the hospital…...... You just honestly never know about life…......... You can take another initiative if you are wanting to know really quick :) I hope it works out for you

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Perhaps he’s really already in a relationship and got cold feet about cheating or ending it? If he wanted to see you again, apart from being in a coma, I can’t imagine what would deter an interested man from following up. I too would text and see what happens. Are you absolutely sure he is single?

chelle21689's avatar

Maybe he met someone he likes better, maybe the date didn’t go as great as you thought and he changed his mind, maybe something happened to him, maybe he’s on vacation? You should reach out to him and if he sounds distant then he just wasn’t that into you.

stanleybmanly's avatar

In any case, nothing is to be gained through pining away and wondering about it.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

He WILL make contact if he is interested and not attached in any way. No, don’t run after him, let him call.

AshlynM's avatar

Just text him how you’ve been lately? If he responds, then great. If not, then time to move on. If someone really likes you, they will keep in touch.

NerdyKeith's avatar

It’s hard to say. He may have legitimate reasons to why he has not contacted you. Sounds like he has quite the hectic life. As others have suggested, send him a casual text asking him how things are.

I wish you luck.

johnpowell's avatar

We are on the verge of having a female President. Make the first move. Welcome to being vulnerable like you expect him to be.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
imrainmaker's avatar

I agree with @johnpowell just go ahead and contact him rather than pondering about it. I don’t know why you’re are not ready to take the initiative if you really liked it? At least you would know if he liked your company / interested to meet again based on his response.

Sunshinegirl11's avatar

Ok just an update…. I contacted him and asked him out again, and I never heard from him. In other words, he has “ghosted” me! It’s crazy how closure made it so much easier for me to just shrug it off and move on with life!

Still wondering why he was so flirty during the date but whatever. I got better things to worry about.

Thanks everyone for giving me the courage to do something about the situation!! :)

janbb's avatar

@Sunshinegirl11 I have done my best to give up trying to figure out other people. Good for you!!

Buttonstc's avatar

All that means is that you’re now free and available for whenever Mr. Right appears on your horizon. You put yourself out there and took the initiative twice now so he’s made himself clear with his lack of response. So thats his loss not yours.

As to why he acted so flirty and interested I will hazard a guess. But just keep in mind that is all it is, a guess, nothing more. Maybe he was turning on the charm in hopes of a quickie one night stand or maybe even a friends with benefits type of situation. Basically sex with no real time investment or commitment. But you turned out to not be that type of girl who just allows herself to be used so easily so he’ll continue his hunt elsewhere.

And that’s just fine. If his primary interest was sex he can go find that anyplace. If he were truly interested in you as a person he would have responded. And as you said, you don’t need to be wasting time like that. Good for you for having high standards and not being desperate. Eventually you’ll find the right guy who values that. It clearly wasn’t this guy, so he’s history.

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