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Sunshinegirl11's avatar

Whoever initiated the first date should initiate the second?

Asked by Sunshinegirl11 (1107points) June 12th, 2016 from iPhone

So I asked a question about a “date” yesterday and got some excellent answers. But now I’m curious…

So is it a basic rule that whoever initiated the first date should initiate the second?

Also is it true that men should do the pursuing? If he doesn’t pursue you, he isn’t interested?

You can read my previous question but I, a female, asked a guy I know “out”. We got lunch and He made it seem like a date, but two weeks after the first “date”, I haven’t heard from him. So I’m just curious to the basic rules of dating… I’m new to this stuff

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8 Answers

johnpowell's avatar

There isn’t any rule. All of the rules you have seen on TV and so on are bullshit. Do you want another date? If yes, ask for one.

He isn’t going to think you are needy or anything. If he is anything like I am he will think he is that awesome.

Here is the thing. Dating is a delectate balance of rejection. You don’t want to be rejected and neither does he. Unless one of you gamble it is Netflix and cat for the both of you.

AshlynM's avatar

That makes sense but you should do whatever you want, Because if you wait for them to ask you, you could end up waiting awhile. No harm in asking for a second date, the worst they can say is no.

BellaB's avatar

If someone doesn’t ask, the result is always no more dates.

I thought the days of dating rules ended in the 1960’s.

If someone wants to see someone else, they need to let them know – suggest a plan -something.

If it doesn’t work out , there are always other people to consider. I’m not a believer in one true match.

stanleybmanly's avatar

No indeed. If you adhere to that “wait for him to make the first move ” strategy some pushy broad may well swoop in and abscound with your prize. Operate on the assumption that men don’t know what they want, and you’ll be right more times than not.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I don’t think there are rules either. If you want another date, contact him and see if he’d like to do something with you. Did you talk about going somewhere? Seeing a movie? Films you liked? That might give you an opening you can use to reach out.

However, as I said the other day, make sure you’re sure he’s single. I remember when I started dating my ex-husband, he told me a few weeks after we started dating that he had been seeing someone else when we first got together. He broke it off with her once things went well with me. I had no idea. Some men like to hedge their bets. So perhaps this guy isn’t as single as he seems. Just make sure he isn’t seeing anyone else.

cazzie's avatar

The one and only basic rule: Treat the other person as you would like to be treated. Drop the double standards. Drop the power plays and the games. Just be a decent human being. If you like the person and want see them again, tell them. If they don’t feel the same way, drop it and move on.

Zaku's avatar

The sooner you get to open honest communication the better, unless you both enjoy guessing.

Sunshinegirl11's avatar

So an update…

I texted him and asked him out again, but got no response. So I kind of just dropped it.

Crazy how closure can make it so much easier for me to for me to just move on with life!

Thanks everyone for the excellent responses!

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