General Question

curiousmonkey's avatar

What would you do if the guy you like already has a girlfriend?

Asked by curiousmonkey (59points) July 30th, 2008

I don’t know what i should do, should I leave things the way they are… just friends/ aqaintances, or should i continue to try to be better friends and give hints that i like him? Or just cut off contact with him, seeing as it makes me sad when hearing about his girlfriend.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

loser's avatar

Leave things the way they are and find another guy.

flameboi's avatar

Give him a call and meet him to explain your situation, but point out that you respect his current relationship and you will no be an obstacle, that you just wanted to be sincere and wanted to let him know your feelings, after that, keep everything cool…

RandomMrdan's avatar

Leave things as they are, and if and when he breaks up with his current girlfriend, perhaps then would be a better time to let him know how you feel. If it is looking like a long term relationship, it might be better to move on to someone else though.

Allie's avatar

Well, this happened to me, too – twice actually. The first time I kept the feelings to myself and we became pretty good friends, then when he and his girlfriend broke up I told him. We went out for about a month and a half before I realized that he makes a much better friend and was the worst boyfriend on the face of the planet. The second time I kept it to myself until he told me that if I want to tell someone I like them that I should – so I did, I told him. Nothing really changed though, except then he knew I liked him.

syz's avatar

Move on. Get over him. Don’t interfere with an established relationship. If it ends someday, maybe you’ll still be interested.

Lovelocke's avatar

If you think his weiner’s worth more than your friend’s trust, go for it! However, there’s about a billion of one thing and only one of the other. I’m guessing by the fact you’d have to ask means you’re too silly and immature to know that.

Allie's avatar

Lovelocke: I don’t think she mentioned whether or not she is friends with the girlfriend. She says she’s friends with the guy she likes and is asking if we think she should tell him or not.

Lovelocke's avatar

@Allie: Oh! Okay… that’s a vibrator of a whole other color then! I say go for it. You don’t know the other girl, so it’s like there’s no collateral damage at all!

…that doesn’t sound right either, I think… :(

Just don’t do it. Or do it… but don’t expect it to be easy.

marinelife's avatar

One thing that you could think about here before you decide, is how you would feel about other women coming on to your boyfriend.

If it was me, I would go with flameboi’s approach. Say “I am finding myself attracted to you, but I know you are in a relationship so I am going to step back.”

That leaves things open if he is interested now or later.

megalongcat's avatar

Find another man and don’t screw their happiness up.

jlm11f's avatar

Plenty of fish in the sea for everyone…just let it be. if its meant to be, he will eventually break up with the girl and then you can let your feelings be known.

Lovelocke's avatar

@PnL: For some reason, your post made me come up with a potentially new and highly lewd phrase… “There’s more fish to f***”.

…anyway yeah: If you’re all around the age I imagine you to be in, it should be about kissing cute boys and not wrangling in the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. I’m 24 right now, and I really don’t feel like getting married, but that could change in a few years. I’ve been with my lovely bell for over a year and a half, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve had girls come onto me, and I’m sure she’s had guys come onto her… but it’s all in how you handle the approach.

You never know, he could ACTUALLY care for his current girlfriend and get pissed off at you and break off all communications because you’re trying to ruin it for him. This whole question generally reeks of selfishness… but, you’re asking, so we’re answering. There could always be something unique in your situation, but then again, it could just be “new to you” and not really so “unique”.

delirium's avatar

I’ve said this once in this questions twin, and i’ll say it again.
Masturbate instead and leave the relationship alone.

Lovelocke's avatar

…and post pics or else it didn’t happen. We care about you.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I would respect the two of them and say and do nothing. I had a guy friend of my last girlfriend come on to her big time and I still haven’t forgiven his lack of respect for us or our relationship. He also never apologized to me for it, which would make a huge difference in the forgiveness department, but whatever.

So, having experienced that, I would not make any move. I also would not burden him with my feelings, it’s inappropriate and may make him uncomfortable. Not only that, I just think it’s really disrespectful, and he may feel the same. If you still like him a lot, you can wait to see if they might break up, but if it looks long-term, I’d try to get over it.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

don’t be a homewrecker.

Emilyy's avatar

Move along I say. Even if they do break up, he’s not going to be emotionally available to give you the love and attention you deserve until he’s single and happy on his own terms. Seriously. Move along.

cecildooderbop's avatar

put yourself in this situation. if you had a boyfriend that had a really close girlfriend and she told him she liked him how would you feel? I think if you see he’s happy with the girlfriend he has now, you wouldn’t want to come between them.

bunkin's avatar

How would you feel if you were her? After asking yourself that question then make your decision.

Knotmyday's avatar

Move along. Nothing to see here.

maio's avatar

get another guy….

CMaz's avatar

Run away. Especially if he is giving you the impression that he is willing to entertain the idea of getting to know one another. And I bet you he will if you let him know you are interested.
Don’t go there. You will just get hurt as will the girl that is dating him.
Say, what are you doing this weekend? :-)

paperbackhead's avatar

If you get involved you’ll just be his little play thing, like my older sister always says when I’m up to something naughty “Don’t even think about it” there are other men to swoon over. But they should be swooning over you.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther