When did you realise you were ready to tie the knot?

I was young (early 20’s) and head over heals about my boyfriend. In my mind, I wasn’t going to date for years and “waste my time” when in the end he might not want to get married. I didn’t want to date someone, and have it go nowhere. Around the year mark I expected him to want to get married too. I dropped a lot of hints. He proposed to me right aroubd a year together. We then were engaged for a year before getting married.

Dating, being together all the time, and then wanting to get married seemed like the most natural thing in the world at the time. Nothing was forced or scary. I never got nervous about marrying my husband.

If falling for a SO in a significant way does not happen sooner than later than IMHO you are on a dead end street. I knew I would marry my wife after 3 months where I took her out fishing on a rainy choppy afternoon. Worried she was miserable out on the water….after 30 minutes I offered to head back to shore and her reply was…“Hell no!! I am not going in till I catch a fish!!” I knew right there and then she would be my wife.

A beloved aunt once told me that I may never marry because I was looking for someone like my father. At the time, I thought she had no idea what she was talking about. As much as we kids loved our dad, there was no interest in marrying someone with some of his characteristics.

Over time, the idea of ever getting married was pushed aside and the focus was on the career and retirement. When I was ~45, a man living in another country crossed my path on the internet purely by accident. It only took three weeks to know that he was special.

We’ve been a couple for over eight years now. This guy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He compliments my strengths, rarely points out my faults, and encourages me to stretch beyond perceived abilities. He was hands down worth the wait.

The aunt may have been right. Dad treated Mom in the same way.

I was very young, only 21 and while I had some doubts I went ahead anyway and tied the knot.
It was a knot that was a lot harder to untangle than it was to tie, as most knots are. haha
I have been untangled (divorced) from the black thread for 13 years now. lol

When I was 18, I met a boy at a skating rink. We fell in love right then. My mother told me I couldn’t date him because he was only 16 and a high school drop-out. I moved out of my parents home, but his mom said I couldn’t stay there unless we were married, so we got married. She had done the same thing when she was that age.

That marriage lasted just over one year. When our baby was born, my whole outlook on life changed. I realized he would never make a good father. He later committed suicide.

The following year, my sister introduced me to her boyfriend’s roommate. We went on three dates over the next two weeks and decided to get married. That marriage ended 9 years later with his death.

A year after that, I met my current husband. We fell in love at first sight, and recently celebrated our 40th anniversary.

Around the three month mark, and this year is going on 27 years together.

I am completely, unromantically pragmatic about this.

My wife and I started dating young. I was 16, she was 17. We never said, “Ooh we’ll get married someday.” Instead, we focused on accomplishing things together. Graduate high school, graduate college, save for a house…then we decided to get married. Not because our hearts told us to (because if I listened to that, I would have married her at 18), but because it was the next logical thing to do.

Additionally, in the 9-years we dated, we went through a lot of crap together. Not just relationship stuff but career, money, family, death, and hospital stuff.

My advice for anyone is:
• Focus on your personal goals first, even if you accomplish them together.
• Be each other’s best friend.
• Get through some hard times together too.

If all that works out, and you still want to marry that person — do it.

The moment I realized I never wanted to be without her. We met and married within 3 months and are together 15 years later. I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone.

I don’t think I ever “realized” it. We dated for about three years in college. She graduated the year before me and went to work in a different town. I visited almost every weekend and then one day I asked if she wanted to get married and she said yes but this was not just some random thought, we had both been considering the possibility for years. We decided to wait until I graduated in the upcoming May, got married in July after that and 39 years later we are still enjoying each others company.

However (and this is very important!), I will say that Billy Joel got it right when he said:

“Well now you tell me you love somebody
And you’ll love ‘em forever, you may love ‘em forever,
But you won’t like ‘em all of the time.
Well now you tell me you need somebody
For the rest of your life you might have somebody,
But you won’t want ‘em ev’ry day”.

And just know that goes for both parties; If you cannot accept and understand this as normal, you won’t last as a couple.