General Question

tinyfaery's avatar

Who keeps the ring?

Asked by tinyfaery (42472points) July 31st, 2008

Should she get to keep it? She broke off the engagement. If the roles were reversed, and he broke off the engagement, would that change your opinion?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

wildflower's avatar

Why in the world would she want to keep an expensive reminder like that?? It makes no sense!!

augustlan's avatar

The rule of thumb is: engagement rings are temporary, and return to the giver if the engagement is broken by either party…wedding rings are “permanent” and remain with the receiver, unless it is a family heirloom, in which case it should be returned to the giver.

tinyfaery's avatar

So an engagement ring is not a gift?

marinelife's avatar

From this engagement ring site:
“Regardless of who may have precipitated the end of the relationship, the question of who gets the engagement ring is not as clear-cut as it may seem. As the price of engagement rings rises, they become not only treasured tokens of love and affection, but also a significant financial investment. Because of this, the couple needs to collaborate on disposing of the ring when an engagement ends.

While every couple’s situation is different, general guidelines and etiquette for the engagement ring in regards to a severed relationship are as follows:

* First and foremost, the ring is returned to whomever purchased it, generally to the man.
* If the man does not wish the ring to be returned, the woman may keep it or dispose of it as she sees fit.
* Heirloom rings are invariably returned to the family of origin, regardless of who proposed to whom or who wears the ring.
* If the couple purchased the ring together using joint funds, the ring should be returned or sold and the money split proportionally based on the original collaboration of funds.

Some states have precise laws about the status of the ring in a broken engagement: the woman may keep it as a gift or may be required to return it on the basis of a bad faith agreement, or returning the ring may depend on who is responsible for terminating the engagement. If there is a conflict over the dispensation of the ring, it is wise to consult an attorney about local laws and precedents. For very expensive and valuable rings, a prenuptial agreement may note what should happen to the token in case of a split either before or after the wedding.”

tinyfaery's avatar

Wow. The government really has wheedled its way into all areas of our private lives.

rockstar's avatar

@tinyfaery-Wow, I didn’t realize that either. Crazy, crazy

softtop67's avatar

General Rule of thumb in most states is that the “ring” is part of a contract that is not comsumated until the marriage takes place. Therefore, whomever the ring belonged to before the question was popped they get to keep it. It does not matter who breaks the agreement, who breaks up with whom. The one big caveat is for those gents who decide to get engaged on holidays birthdays etc, the ring then is often considered a gift and in that case the woman gets to keep it

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Back to the giver. It’s the moral thing to do.

It’s a gift yes but it’s a symbol of a couples love, the person gives it to the SO in hopes of spending together forever. The yes is agreeing to the question and you take the ring as that agreement. If that person breaks it off, then give the ring back regardless of who breaks it off.

MacBean's avatar

When I broke my engagement, I offered the ring back but I was told to keep it. He said because it was designed very specifically for me and given as a gift, it was still mine and I could do whatever I wanted with it.

(I kept it. Still wear it sometimes, since it really is the perfect ring for me and doesn’t look like a typical engagement ring. And I’m still extremely good friends with the guy.)

Knotmyday's avatar

I think she should take the high road and throw it in the fountain.

stratman37's avatar

I had a girlfriend break it off with me, and I had to actually ASK for the ring back. And when I returned it to the jeweler’s, they listed it in my credit report as a REPOSSESSION! Took me years to outrun that.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther