General Question

negative's avatar

How soon one needs to confess ones feelings ?

Asked by negative (93points) August 7th, 2016

Do we need to wait for right time with right words or just say ones you feel something for the other ..

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5 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

The biggest question before revealing feelings about another person is asking yourself, “is this real?”

I had a roommate that would come home at least once a week and say, “I’m in love!” and be besotted with a girl he’d met. And he rarely had a second date because of his declarations of undying love, which could not in any way be true deep love because he didn’t know the girl.

Same with feelings of “I can’t stand her anymore”. While that may be real after one gets to know someone, one must ask oneself if it is a temporary feeling from frustration, or misunderstanding or if it is a real sign of incompatibility.

Once one has done some internal verification, then one can say what one feels. Just don’t expect it to be reciprocated.

And don’t keep saying it over and over.

kritiper's avatar

“The better part of valor is discretion.” -Shakespere’s ” 1 Henry IV.,” v.4. 121
My advice? Honesty is always the best policy but some things are better left unsaid.
And the word love (like the word “hero” in today’s world) is greatly overused. And misunderstood.
Best to keep these feelings of “love” close to your chest, like a winning poker hand. As in unsaid. SHOW how you feel, if you dare, but keep it quiet! If you tip your hand too quickly you are apt to foil the play.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Both the previous answers are very good. Tracey Chapman has a song about this dilemma. The balance between being open with our love while protecting our vulnerable hearts. There is no ‘right’ time to confess your feelings. If we get hurt often, it can make us reluctant to be open.

When is the right time will be different in each relationship. As has been counselled above, don’t be flippant with expressing your love. Give yourself sufficient time to work out if you are infatuated or really in love. In saying that, don’t be too scared to take a risk. It’s a balancing act. Treat your love as special and valuable and something to be saved for a person who is worthy of sharing your emotions with. Our hearts are precious and tender, but they do heal so don’t be too afraid to enjoy the journey of finding deep love.

imrainmaker's avatar

Very good / thoughtful responses by all! Just to add what they’re saying please make sure that the other party is also showing some interest in you. It may not be direct but in subtle ways. Otherwise it can end up being one sided affair. Don’t rush into anything without taking all consequences into consideration. But don’t wait too long which might be considered as lack of interest / fear / entry of third person in the equation which can make life difficult for you.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

When one is ready.

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