General Question

thatswhatshesaid's avatar

The first time you're having sex/about to have it...what should you keep in mind?

Asked by thatswhatshesaid (65points) August 1st, 2008

this is an honest to god question (and this is for a girl)
i know it’s a bit broad but sex is a pretty broad thing.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

33 Answers

Lightlyseared's avatar

do you have condoms?
Do you know how to use them?

SuperMouse's avatar

Odds are good that if you are posing this question here you are too young and not ready to even begin to consider a sexual relationship. Talk to your mom, or an aunt, or another trusted female friend. Don’t let anyone force you to do anything you do not want to do. You are more likely to be sorry if you don’t wait than if you do.

Here’s what you should keep in mind: You should NOT have intercourse with anyone unless you are adults (not in your teens), and are in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with each other. You should both be tested for AIDS and other STD’s and you MUST use a condom.

cage's avatar

@supernutjob, I don’t think we can say you must only have sex if you are an adult etc in this day and age, it’s not going to happen.
I lost my virginity in a tent to my best friends sister when I was 16 at a festival, and it we weren’t even in a relationship, and I’m fine, I’ve been in long and short relationships and never hurt anyone or myself in a sexually emotional way.

I think the main thing you really need to worry about is as everyone says, use a condom, and also you need to be mentally stable, so don’t get drunk or something coz you might wake up the next day like “oh dear”.
I mean, I lost my virginity when I wasn’t ‘bothered’ in a way. I basically just went “yeah okay then”
As long as you’re sure you’re comfortable with that person then it’s okay. Just know you can trust them.

In conclusion before you’re about to have sex ask yourself:

“do I have condoms… do I trust this person… am I comfortable in the situation…”

cage's avatar

OH, and it’s usually a good idea to be legal, lol, or at least be in the same age bracket as the person you’re going to be having intercourse with – more trust that way.

SuperMouse's avatar

@cage, I understand your point, but I can’t help but think that in a situation such as this, where we don’t know the age or maturity of the poster, it is best to discourage such a huge, life changing event.

cage's avatar

well in that case
@thatswhatshesaid – how old are you and are you in a stable relationship etc?

nikipedia's avatar

1. Protect yourself physically: condoms, birth control, lubricant, and a safe location.
2. Protect yourself emotionally: is this someone you can really communicate with? Even about gross or weird or embarrassing stuff?
3. You can’t take it back. Make sure you’re sure. You could potentially have a lot of regrets if this is something you rush into, but there’s never any harm in waiting.

MrKnowItAll's avatar

Just think how much nicer it will be when you’re not alone.

cecildooderbop's avatar

My best friends mom once told me, go to your bathroom look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, tomorrow (after this is done) will I be able to look at myself and be okay with the decision I made.

You are in charge of you. No one else can make this decision for you.
@cage I disagree. For women, what I’ve heard, sex is a much more mental and emotional thing vs. for guys. Sex completely changes a relationship, and you have to be mature to handle it.

I’m telling you things I’ve heard, not from friends or anything but from adults. I haven’t had any experience.

Men love with their eyes, women love with their hearts. After you’re no longer with this person think of how it’s going to affect you. And if you’re having doubts, I wouldn’t carry through with this.

flameboi's avatar

Ask yourself “Am I ready for this?”

kevbo's avatar

“It gets better with practice.”

Seriously, though, give yourself (and your partner) permission to make mistakes and be physically awkward with each other. It usually takes a couple of tries for two new bodies to move together synchronistically.

cage's avatar

@ceclidoderbop, I just came out of an extremely long relationship where I was very very much in love with the girl I was with. Please don’t think I’m just on about
“yeah, sex is f*****g awesome!”
Because I’m certainly not.

I do understand for women sex is generally a much more personal thing, but all the experiences I’ve ever had, and heard etc seem to be that if you’re ready and happy with that person and yourself, it’s okay.

susanc's avatar

What kev said. For most people, the first times are kinda
strange and aren’t much like what you see in the movies. Don’t fake anything,
and remember this is a friend of yours. (If it isn’t, wait for someone else.)

cheebdragon's avatar

Its probably going to hurt…...and there may be a little blood. (just the first time anyway)

cage's avatar

@cheebdragon, yeah, basically you’re gonna hate it, and possibly die of blood loss…

lol, no I’m kidding :)

cheebdragon's avatar

@cage- yeah, freak her out that’s a great idea~

Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
richardhenry's avatar

[Fluther Moderator:] Sorry all, we got a bit side tracked there.

Response moderated
susanc's avatar

I take back all the nice things I said about people on Fluther learning about community together.

thatswhatshesaid's avatar

haha ok in response to you guys wanting to know-
i’m 17 years old
and i know about blood i’m not freaked out
and i really want to do it….i’m not in a relationship with the guy because he’s off to university but he really likes me
i ask myself this like every morning, and my first response is yes. i get a bit nervous through the day…well, naturally i think anyone would at the idea of their first time right?
also…it may be good to mention we’ve decided to remain really good friends after.
oh and i’m pretty emotionally mature…

SuperMouse's avatar

I have a 17 year-old niece with a great head on her shoulders who is very mature for her age. I will tell you the same thing I would tell her… wait. You are more likely to be sorry if you don’t wait then you are if you do. If you decide not to wait please, please, please be sure to use a condom.

cage's avatar

@thatswhatshesaid. I think you’ve made your mind up. Good luck, just don’t expect it to be as good as you hope, and don’t forget protection :)

Also, I believe you will stay friends afterwards, there’s no reason why not to. I’ve stayed friends with all of my girlfriends, you like him, he likes you, why would that change? – so don’t worry about hat either.

tocutetolive90's avatar

i hope i don’t fuck up. damn that would suck really badly

ninjaxmarc's avatar

it will hurt the first time, then it will get better, then hopefully great.

Don’t have high expectations.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther