If you could have more children than the number you have now, and there were no obstacles to having and raising them, how many more would you like to have?
Asked by
jca (
36062![points](//d3phpakcjc7x1x.cloudfront.net/images/v2/star.png)
)
August 25th, 2016
It’s not uncommon to hear parents say they wish they could have had more kids. Usually it’s moms I hear say that, but that’s probably because I’m talking to moms more than dads. The obstacles might be financial, or age, or health reasons such as miscarriages, genetic issues, etc.
I had my daughter at age 41 so the clock was definitely ticking. I am happy with one and she’s great. I don’t know if I would have had the energy for more. I can afford a nice lifestyle with the salary I make and with just one. I could see having two. If I removed the obstacles of my age and the financial obstacle, two would be ok, too.
Do you wish you could have had more?
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
36 Answers
If i had the money and the stamina, I would have considered up to six. That would have been through adoption, though.
I had my first when I was 40, my second when I was 42. Now that they are launching to college, I am relieved to not be involved with the elementary/jr high stuff, but I miss having high school kids around.
I have 2 and that was enough. I could devote a reasonable amount or attention to each and teach them things. Travel was easy with 2. Any more and things seem to get a bit out of control.
Both of mine are married and out of the house. Well… not totally. Their junk.stuff is still here.
I had two but would have liked to have had three, I think. My kids are so far away, it would be nice to have one who might (or might not) have stayed closer.
I think families with four kids are cool but I doubt I could have handled that.
The same as now. None. For me, not having kids was the right choice.
I have zero, two would be ok with me.
No obstacles? I would have had a football team. I loved being pregnant and I love babies and children.
I have two and while I was expecting the second one, I was planning to have a third quite quickly so that they could grow up together. There are 5 years between my first and second. Once I had the new baby, I felt differently. I had forgotten just how much I hated the sleepless nights and couldn’t face that again. Also I felt lucky they were both healthy and didn’t want to risk having a child who had health problems.
I have none. I wish I had been able to have one or two.
I’d like to adopt a five year old.
Ian would have someone to play with, and I have no longing for all the hassle of a baby or a toddler. The best thing about babies is they don’t stay that way for long.
And being pregnant sucks. A lot.
I have 2.5, but I’d like to have had 2 more. Just to see how they come out! It’s like the ultimate Christmas or Birthday present.
The number I have now multiplied by two. So, umm, 0×2 = 0.
Our two, one of each, ends there, perfection
Similar to how some people don’t believe in abortion, I don’t believe in having children…so Ø
Removing all obstacles still none, having kids just wasn’t in our DNA.
I don’t hate kids and neither does Mrs Squeeky we just don’t want and still don’t want any of our own.
Do you ever want to borrow some?
I would love to run an orphanage for 20 or 30 children. I did volunteer work at my son’s school for a couple of years and I love children. I was also an emergency foster parent for several years. I had children over the weekend until courts could place them.
My two sons were born 16 years apart, due to financial concerns and marriage issues. Being pregnant and giving birth were very difficult for me.
@YARNLADY why over the weekends? What happened to them during the week?
@Dutchess_III
I don’t want to speak for @YARNLADY, but I’m gonna hazard a guess that the courts aren’t in session during the weekends, and thus the kids are placed afterward, during the week when the courts are in session again.
@Darth_Algar is correct. Emergency removals that take place at night or weekends go to court the next business day.
^^^Yes, the kids I got were usually from drug busts. The police would go in Late Friday night and raid the homes, then bring the kids to me. On Monday morning Social Services would come and get the kids and take them to court. The judge ruled them wards of the court and they were assigned to a full time foster home. Sometimes they were domestic violence orphans.
I originally joined because I wanted babies, but Social Services discovered I was good with teens, and apparently that is harder to find. In addition to the fostering, I did volunteer work at a nearby hospital in the infant ward to rock babies.
We adopted one and were planning on a second until life got in the way (unemployment, caring for elderly inlaws, etc.).
We may still adopt another, but my daughter is thirteen now, so it’s less and less likely.
But to answer the question: Two would have been good.
There’s a ten and twelve year age difference between our sons and our daughter. She’s twelve now. The first several years after having her I wanted another child so she could have a sibling closer in age to her. I gave up that dream two years ago. I’ll be 46 in January and I can’t imagine having a child in kindergarten when I’m in my early 50s. I’m so over dealing with grade schools.
Four would have been nice, but I’m not complaining. I’m content.
The obstacle for me is my own lack of desire to have children. I’m happy to have that obstacle. I’m more of a dogs and cats person. Zero is the right amount of children for me.
As much as I have now. Zero.
I don’t want kids.
@YARNLADY: In the county I work in, kids are never in Family Court. I would imagine it would be traumatizing for them. Once in a while, an older teen may be there to advocate for himself, or something like that, but most likely not and never ever little kids.
I had a feeling “Friday night fights,” domestic violence, had to do with the influx of those poor children on the weekends. I didn’t think about timed police raids. That makes sense.
I’m glad to hear that @jca. Those were my thoughts too. Leave them with Yarnlady until they find semi-permanent foster placement on Monday.
Those poor, poor children.
@Dutchess_III: So many possible scenarios. Caseworker visits any time past Friday at 4 pm, and finds a neglectful situation or abusive situation, police are called any time over the weekend due to neglect or abuse, parent gets arrested, kid gets in trouble over the weekend for doing whatever. Anything past the close of court on Friday gets put over till Monday. Anything that happens past the close of court on a week night goes to court the next morning. In the meantime, the kids can’t be with the mom or the parent or caretaker.
Right. And that kind of stuff is more likely to erupt over the weekend when people are drinking. But according to @YARNLADY,Friday nights are when the police commence raids, and that’s where most of the kids come from.
Yes. In the County I work in (which is a very populated county with all kinds of demographics), most CPS removals don’t involve police raids. That’s just where I work which is the only one I can speak about. Police are sometimes involved, but it all depends on what the issues are and how receptive the parent is to having the child removed. Sometimes they cooperate, sometimes they don’t.
I’m sure some parents are very receptive to having their kids taken away.
@Dutchess_III: You’d be surprised. If the child is placed with a relative, some parents look at it as a little break, especially if they’re overwhelmed or addicted.
^^ That is so true. My Daughter-in-law gave me her three as soon as the youngest one was a teen. I had been keeping them every school holiday, so it wasn’t that much of a change.
She was a single mom and they were having a lot of trouble in school Two of them returned home after the school year. They have each been living with me off and on ever since.
I was thinking of the police forcibly removing the children, not parents volunteering to give them up.
DSS goes in and has a conversation with the parent. The less to traumatize the child. The parent is told they will have their day in court tomorrow and they can explain to the judge what their side of the story is, if they’re going to protest the removal.
If the parent is arrested, the children are tended to by DSS caseworkers and then brought to emergency placement, which may very well be a relative, if a suitable one is available. An order of protection may be issued. No police are going in and ripping children out of their homes. It doesn’t work that way.
If the parents are drunk or on other drugs, it’s gonna be a bad scene, no matter how well the police try to handle it.
None of the children I got seemed traumatized at the time. They were told they were being taken to a safe house until the court could help them. These are teens, remember, they are not stupid.
@Dutchess_III, yes but the police are not ripping the children out. The children can remain until DSS comes or children are taken to the police station house where the discussion takes place about relatives or foster care.
Answer this question ![sending...](//d3phpakcjc7x1x.cloudfront.net/images/v2/ajax-loader.gif)