General Question

Heather13's avatar

Should I get another job if my boss hates me?

Asked by Heather13 (495points) August 29th, 2016

One of my manager embarrassed me in front of a new client. I am new to the job and trying my best to catch on to the flow of things. He kept telling the client that I was new, without even finding out if I had any issues doing my job.

He was sitting real close to me while explaining something to them, and kept turning towards me and telling me to pay attention and listen. By god, I never ever said a word while he spoke as we are told to do when they are with us and the clients. A few minutes before that, he took me aside to tell me that I never told him that he was assigned to help me with the client. I never knew I was suppose to go to him first. No one told me. Because it was on a list, I thought he knew.

He kept staring with dissappointment at me 30 minutes after the meeting with the client. Each time I walked passed his desk, he glared with a serious look. Then the last time I walked by that same day, a woman was talking to him. He stopped me and introduced her to me, saying she was his wife, and how she is the one he makes jokes about. She smiled and shook my hand, and told me it was nice to meet me.

I told her how funny her husband was. They both giggled. I told her it was nice meeting her. Then walked off. Since then, he has been giving me the cold shoulder and stiff stare, even when I wave at him to say hello. Just no response.

Should I get another job?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Call HR and report him for harassment.

chyna's avatar

Too much pressure for a new job. Don’t quit before you have another job, but yes, I would look for another one.

zenvelo's avatar

Did you try to speak to him about the client meeting before hand? Why not?

When he talked to you half hour before and said it was unexpected that you would be there, did you ask for guidance and how you could best assist him?

You _are_new, so that isn’t embarrassing you, that is e planning to the client.

Were you actively engaged and payin attention during the discussion, or were you looking down at your material?

After the meeting, did you ask him what you could have done differently?

The job may not be a good fit for you, but I don’t think his behavior was all that out of line. And he was not harassing you.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think perhaps you’re reading meaning into your boss’ looks that may not be there.

Heather13's avatar


I think you read the question wrong. Let me list what happened.

1. I am called on to sit qith a client for a sale.

2. A manager assigns another manager to each one of us that picks up a client, to assist us where necessary.

3. I have never been told nor had to go to my assigned manager, prior to picking up the client, to let him know he is assigned to me. With my previous ‘assigned manager’, that one knew and came to assist.

3. I said he acted dissapointed 30 minutes “after” we were with the client.

4. I don’t really think it matters whether I am new or whether the job is for me or not, talking down to someone as though they are a child in feont of a stranger is rude.

I told my last client that I was new 1 hr after having a meting with them alone, and she told me she would never have guest it. She encouraged me not to let newer clients know that I was new unless they figured it out themelves.

My advice is: Don’t allow your boss to talk down to you in any condescending way in front of others. If you need counsel on anything, it should be done out of the space of others. Its dignifying and encouraging.

jca's avatar

When the boss was saying “pay attention and listen” repeatedly, were you not paying attention and listening? If you were paying attention and listening, and he kept repeating it, I agree it could be humiliating and condescending to be spoken to that way in front of the client. It’s a way one might speak to a child.

Heather13's avatar

I was listening. In fact, I came and interrupted my conversation with them. He just presumptuously thought that because I am new, he needed to say thst, just in case I was off tract with them. He didn’t even try to find out what we were talking about. As soon as he interrupted, I was just looking at him with my mouth shut the whole time. Even after he got up and walked off, my clients said he was a fast talker and that they couldn’t remember what he said. He was even asking them if they liked me. Which they said yes to. Those clients were a middle age couple. I felt like his kid.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

You could leave if you don’t like your job. Seems like a knee-jerk reaction to me.

Or you can see how things work out since you’re new to this position.

Perhaps this manager just has poor communication skills. Perhaps he’s had a bad experience in the past with someone new he’s had to mentor. Why not give him a chance and see if his behaviour is repeated. If it is, why not have a conversation with him. Don’t attack him or take an overly critical stance, talk to him. Be open-minded and see what he says. He may just be nervous and lack social skills.

Cruiser's avatar

Remember you applied for this job and either the boss or HR person hired you for the postion because of your qualifications. Unless you listed mind reader as one of your strong points…I read that you were left to fend for yourself which to me exposes a level of weak management on many levels. The company doesn’t sound large and why you were intertwined with the owner in that meeting.

Many red flags are waving for me the first is the obvious in that you were not trained and appraised of protocols for interacting with the customers and what kind of support is or was available from managers. The fact that you found yourself with the owner at that meeting tells me things were poorly planned and you should not be the cross bearer of that turn of events.

What bothers me the most and tells me you should promptly bail from this job post haste is that this clod stops you and introduces to his wife to you and saying she was his wife, and how she is the one he makes jokes about. WTH!

This man is selfish…sloppy, boorish, disrespectful on many levels and anyone who dissed his own wife in front of his own employees is a tool you do not want to work for.

janbb's avatar

I would give it a little more time. I remember other questions of yours being about guys at work and how you felt they were interacting with you. Try to sort out what might be your own negative (or positive) projections from what is really there. If you still feel uncomfortable, then look for another job but I sense a pattern of your own here.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Response moderated (Unhelpful)
chelle21689's avatar

I didn’t have to read the whole thing but if my boss hated me I’d start looking for a new job asap. My first job I had a manager that was out to get me, she did not like me for some reason…I was miserable, walked on egg shells, cried in my office, everything was somehow my fault, she spread lies…. I should’ve left sooner. I was laid off eventually but on to a better environment, benefits, and more pay.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
YARNLADY's avatar

Never stay on a job you don’t like.

LornaLove's avatar

You have three choices (that I can see anyway) You keep the job and keep quiet

You look for another job and put up with him until it is time to leave. I’m sure you’d hate to leave and have to give him as a reference for example?

Or, you sit down like an adult and tell him, whilst you really appreciate his help and guidance (and mean it) if he personally feels you are weak in some areas, he can discuss it with you and not in front of a client. Say it in a polite and professional manner, with a smile and confidence.

The workplace can be a dog-eat-dog world. Show you are strong, resilient and professional, always.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’d add to @LornaLove‘s great summary that you should spend some time evaluating whether you are overreacting. Given your past history, since you do appear to have a tendency for reading too much into how people look at you, I would advise not jumping to make any decision straight away. If things don’t improve, you can always look for something else. You don’t have to make a firm decision right now.

Heather13's avatar


I agree. I thought he was being selfish and disrespectful. It is a large company. I use to come across their clients when I worked for another company some years ago. I was trained, somewhat, for this new job. But it was very hurried, and I am finding out there was a lot of things that were not explained.

I am not the only new employee with the same issues. Me and another new employee were talking about how we are really just thrown in with no real time to know all we are expected
to do.

Heather13's avatar

Thanks for the advice.

Thinking about doing the same. Am glad you got out

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther