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kidvisionary's avatar

How to get my Peace of mind back?

Asked by kidvisionary (97points) September 8th, 2016

When I was younger I had not a care in the world. I lived my life and had fun. I never really thought about death or was afraid of death. I just knew we lived then we died.

Now a days, I have so much on my mind. Due to that I have developed anxiety and depression. It is preventing me from living my life. Sometimes I think why should I do this or that when I might die any day now. The tragic events around the world are not helping either. Every single day there is something bad happening. It makes me not want to watch the news anymore.

I’m always hoping for the best and expecting the worse at the same time. With these recent attacks around the world I am always worried one will happen to me and my loved ones. Especially when we are in Church. Which are potential targets. Deep down I know the chances of it happening are slim to none. However I just cannot get the thought out of my head.

I figure when I was younger I did not fully comprehend the things were happening around me. As I got older and began to learn new things about life my anxiety and curiosity began to grow.

Being 27 and living with my parents is pretty hard. Especially when it come to relationships. I have a job but it does not pay well at all. I am always angry and tired and very anti-social. I often look down when I walk and ignore women when they give me looks or attention.

I just feel my life is all over the place at the moment. The thing about me is I am always helping someone out with something. Therefore I never have time for myself. I’ve just wasted so much time, opportunities and talent. Thoughts of what I could of become just keeps haunting me.

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8 Answers

Zaku's avatar

Forget the anxiety for a moment. Forget parents and world issues and women and money, for a moment.

What are you most interested and curious about? What are you best at? What brings you joy? What are you fascinated by? If you were alone and money was not a problem and could do anything with yourself, what would you choose? What’s your fascination? What’s your genius?

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Cruiser's avatar

Sounds to me that there is a lot of noise in your skull much coming from multiple sources you probably can do without. To start with, stop watching the news and surfing the internet news/media sites. Secondly, make lists of things that you like as @Zaku suggests…your interests, your hobbies, things you are good at…put all the things that pop in your mind then rank them. Use this list as as a menu of things you like to do to guide you through the rest of the year and use it to make goals for your future.

Setting goals is very useful for getting what you want and getting to where you want to be in life. When setting goals it is important to set goals that are realistic for you to achieve. Also set some immediate short term goals even ones you can achieve today and this weekend. Set a goal to exercise every day. Exercise can help greatly with burning off stress and sounds like you could use some de-stressing. At the very least get out and take a brisk walk for at least 30 minutes everyday. And when you do get out and about, stop looking at the ground…there is a rich beautiful world around you that you are missing out on by looking at your feet all day.

Stop complaining and thinking negative things about yourself as they are self fulfilling dead ends if and when you do this. Start thinking positive thoughts, even write down positive affirmations and tape them to your mirror. Take charge of yourself, life is to short to just mope around all day.

LostInParadise's avatar

I second @Cruiser‘s idea of setting goals. Start by taking stock of your life as it currently is without passing judgment on it. Then decide which things you would like to change and determine what, if anything, you can do to bring about the change. You may have to cut back on what you are doing for others and set aside some time for helping yourself.

Sneki95's avatar

I think I know what you are talking about. I have a lot on my mind as well. Anxiety the happenings around me give, struggle of living with parents, college and no job create….if you are aware of everything, it makes you very tired and worried.

My suggestion is to avoid things that worry you. It’s not running away, it is simply wenting out, taking a break from all the pressure. You may as well call it recharging. Don’t watch the news all the time. Have something to relax you. Try to close your eyes, turn off the light, and listen this (it always relaxes me for some reason. Use headphones, it’s better.) or this, or this.

Or don’t listen to music at all. Just lie down, close your eyes, and listen to the sounds around you: tapping watter, crickets, cars in the street, wind, rain…. just listen to the nature. Listen to the silence. It relaxes.
Go to the river or forest nearby and enjoy all the noise out there.

Indulge yourself in comedy as well from time to time. Laughter is a cure. We would go crazy if we never laughed and joked. It works even better if there is company. (just don’t go overboard and laugh at others. Not cool.)

Sometimes you need a time alone or a diversion to get your mind together, and then come back and face grim life with new energy.

You’ll be dancing once again


LornaLove's avatar

Anxiety and depression is horrible, I am suffering from it and have done for years now. I find myself too, thinking mostly of all the negative things in life. I won’t go into details though, we could be here all night.
The point is, when we are like this down etc., we do tend to only see the negative. When in fact, negative things have been happening since time began.

Try and surround yourself with positive people or like @Sneki95 mentioned relaxing and spending time being kind to yourself. Perhaps do some good deeds, you will be surprised and delighted at the person’s response.

I’ve also stopped watching the news, and reality shows they just send me down a spiral of no return.

Remember too, a lot of the feelings that are buried deep inside of us , we project onto these events.

kidvisionary's avatar

@Zaku Thank you for the response. My 2 love and joys is football (soccer) and graphic design. My dream was play pro football (soccer) but things happened in my life. I still have the skill and talent, and I get told all the time I could of made it. But at 27 its a bit too late. Was thinking about maybe being a coach. I work as graphic designer, however I am looking for a new job since my current one is not going well.

@Cruiser Thank you for the response. As I mentioned to Zaku, I love football (soccer) and graphic design. Was thinking about becoming a coach or getting a new job. Your right in that I need to stop negative thoughts and start thinking positively. It is really hard with all the thoughts ringing around in my head but I will try my best. One thing I wanted to do is move out of NYC and go some place less stressful as soon as I start saving up money. NYC is a really stressful place and drains the life out of you. Especially living in the Bronx.

@LostInParadise Thank you for the response. I agree with what you said. I feel I spend too much of my time on others. Sometimes I think they take advantage of my kindness. The thing about these individuals is you can do 100 good things for them. However when you can’t do something once, they get offended.

@Sneki95 Thank you for the response. Your advice helps a whole lot. I really do need a break from everything. I appreciate the music suggestions, they really are nice. I love listening to Enya as well, her music is so beautiful.

@LornaLove Thank you for the response. I hope your anxiety and depression gets better. It is great to hear from someone who is going through the same thing as I am. I am not on social media as much as before. I feel like a lot of content on it is just garbage and taints peoples minds. Appreciate the feedback.

CWOTUS's avatar

You should probably come to terms with the fact that you, everyone you know and love, your entire family and all of their children and friends and their friends’ children are going to die. Every. Single. One. And their pets, too. That’s the tragedy of being human: knowing that. The joy of being human is that we don’t generally have to be consumed or ruined by that awareness.

But then, having realized that, and not dwelling on the fact, unless their executions are scheduled for tomorrow, or unless they have died within the past day or so, go ahead and live your life.

Your attempt to assign cause over the reason for your depression and anxiety as “things on your mind” is dubious at best. If you had correctly assigned the reason for your feelings, then you would presumably have been able to address those causes and resolve the feelings. The fact that this has not occurred indicates that you’re fretting about the wrong things. In fact, “fretting” in general is not going to avail you much. (It might help you to plot a novel or a play, if that’s your aim, but it’s not going to do a damn thing to improve your life.)

Look up once in a while, smile at those pretty girls who give you smiles in return, and get yourself laid.

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