Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Are there more gay men than there are lesbians?

Asked by Dutchess_III (46937points) September 11th, 2016

Just a thought.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

12 Answers

Uberwench's avatar

It’s hard to be sure, but the overall consensus is that there are more gay men than there are lesbians. If you’re interested, there’s a Wikipedia article on it.

Edited to add: I know anecdotal evidence isn’t all that valuable, but my personal experience (as a bisexual woman) backs this up. I’ve met way more gay men and bisexual women than lesbians.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thanks. Interesting.

ButThis sentence has me confused! “Some men who have sex with other men… do not regard sex with other men as sexual activity, a term they reserve for sexual relations with women.” What do they regard it as?

Uberwench's avatar

That’s going to vary. Some people are probably just trying to rationalize it to themselves. But some people (and some cultures) have a very strict “penis in vagina” definition of sex. That’s why the word “sodomy” was invented: so that people could distinguish between “real sex” and “dirty stuff that isn’t sex but is sexual in nature.” So if someone doesn’t think oral and anal sex count as sex even when they occur between a male and a female, then they probably won’t think it counts when it’s two males or two females.

That might seem crazy, but it’s more understandable when we realize that most straight people don’t think they have to specify that they had vaginal sex. They’ll just say “I had sex,” and everyone just assumes that means a penis entered a vagina. This sets vaginal sex as a sort of default, which sparks debate about whether anything else counts. I think oral, anal, and vaginal sex are all sex. To borrow a line from sex columnist Dan Savage, they’re all part of the “sex” family, which is why they share the same last name. But a lot of people disagree.

monthly's avatar

I’ve honestly never thought about it before. Most of our friends are straight, although we do have gay friends of each gender.

kritiper's avatar

Maybe the answer will come out after the next census.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, from @Uberwench‘s link, it would appear that there are more gay men than lesbians. I wonder why.

longgone's avatar

There’s no way for us (or Wikipedia) to know. Consider all the people who don’t feel comfortable being open about their sexuality…then add in those who don’t even accept their homosexual tendencies.

Seek's avatar

There are plenty of women who don’t view sexual acts with other women as “sex”, as well. How many straight women have been involved in a FMF threesome?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I haven’t, @Seek, but if I had I would certainly consider it sex.

Uberwench's avatar

Some women who have been involved in FFM threesomes don’t interact sexually with the other woman. They probably think they had sex alongside another woman, not with another woman. And sexual contact with a member of the same sex doesn’t automatically make someone gay or bi. A woman who kisses another woman as part of a threesome because it gets her male partner off has engaged in some mild same-sex activity, but that doesn’t make her attracted to women. Just like with men, though, there are plenty of women who offer that kind of explanation as a rationalization for going along with something they actually wanted to do. So again, it’s hard to get real numbers here.

Dutchess_III's avatar

How many men would do things like with another man, for no reason other than to get his female partner excited?

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