Social Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

How are you? Really. [9].

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (32190points) October 3rd, 2016

I have asked this question occasionally for quite a number of years. I last asked it 11 months ago, unless I’m missing something.

Please, tell us how you’re doing. How are you really doing?

This is a mostly anonymous site. You can share as much as you like.

____________

I’m really quite good. Some people here have known me for a long time and know that hasn’t always been the case. I was living on disability for a long time, and that was hard. I kept busy with community activities, but poverty is not fun.

I have a good job in public mental health administration. I have a very nice townhouse that I’m able to afford by myself. I don’t have to worry about money for groceries, and I get to travel to other islands occasionally.

I am open to finding a man to call my own. Perhaps that will happen. I don’t know, of course. I’m also exploring furthering my career. That’s not pressing.

My children are all doing well. I have friends, and I’m making a few more.

Life is good for me these days.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

243 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Biding my time. Until I can free myself from doctors. I have anxiety at night. I am always hungry. Will have my credit card bill paid by March. Then everything is profit.

jca's avatar

My mother just died the other day. She had cancer that metastasized and she fought a good fight. She died at home and she was not in pain and not on painkillers so for those things, I’m grateful. I’m taking it way, way better than I ever thought I would but I know there are stages of grief and I know the wake and funeral will be hard and I won’t be taking it so well then.

I also know there will be many occasions when she will be sorely missed. She played a big role in my life and my daughter’s life, and spent a lot of time watching my daughter which was great for the daughter and great for me with child care issues. When my daughter was sick or had a day off of school, she’d be at Nana’s. My mother was a very big influence and did a lot of things like crafts, baking, sewing, and took my daughter a lot of places.

Also, her role in the family was like the hub. The glue. I hope the family stays together and there’s no fighting or bullshit. I hate fighting and crap like that. I think we’ll be ok.

For the short term, right now I’m feeling a little cranky but it might be because the whole day has been hectic, trying to look through boxes of photos and get photos scanned for the wake, and trying to do some productive stuff now that I’m off for the week. In between all that, people are calling, texting, dropping by to chat – it’s all good and it’s all very much appreciated, but it’s tiring too. So I’m tired, annoyed, made some pizza with my daughter and left it in the oven a bit too long so it’s kind of burnt.

My job is political and I hate politics but you have to play the game – smiling, hand shaking, being diplomatic, all that bullshit. Who you trust, who you don’t trust, who can help you, who can hurt you, blah blah blah.

Cruiser's avatar

@jca Virtual hug…just went through all that this past spring when my mom passed away and again this past August when I threw a memorial celebration on her birthday here up north. Spent days at her house with my sibs sorting through boxes of stuff and pictures. It is beyond numbing and not from the sheer task at hand but from the finality of it all….each thing you have in your hand was last in their hand and to be never again…sigh.

Aside from my mom, I had to fire my partner who apparently thought he was deserving of more income even it meant stealing it from the company. More bittersweet days of taking my eldest off to junior year of college and being there for my youngest as he tours colleges and does senior year stuff seniors in High School do.

The weirdest part of all is being 56 years old and trying to convince my mind I am really 56 and not able in the least to process that connection to how I feel physically and the crazy shit that still is firing off in my head. Settling down still seems like such a foreign term to me and impossible to comprehend.

chyna's avatar

@jca {{{Hugs}}} I went through this in 2011. Such a hard time. And in 2016 I still think of my mom every single day.
I’m 58 and not sure if my job is secure. It’s hard to make a move without worrying about how much money I can spend as I may not have a job in the next month.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@jca I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Hugs

JLeslie's avatar

I’m pretty bad. Lots of teary eyes lately. Not handling in the changes in my life very well. It’s been about 4 years of tension and upheaval, although nothing so dire that I can’t still enjoy myself at times and I still appreciate many things.

I started seeing a therapists. The last two times I did, this is going back 12 and 15 years ago, I stopped after two sessions. I didn’t get what I needed from it. This time I feel like the therapist is being helpful.

Many years ago when I lived in chronic pain I felt like I was in a prison and I was just waiting for the light at the end of a tunnel. I felt like there was a tunnel, and then another tunnel would get laid down after that one. The light was so far out of reach, and forever getting farther away.

I feel a little imprisoned again. I just want to escape, but to make it very difficult there are many things I have that I don’t want to leave. I won’t be able to get what I want, I guess eventually I’ll accept it. I guess I’m kind of in a mourning period. No one died, it’s just I feel a loss. I need to reframe things in my mind I guess.

gondwanalon's avatar

@JLeslie I’m so sorry to hear that you are suffering. I hope things get better for you soon. I wish that I could say something to easy your mind. Good health to you.

@Hawaii_Jake You asked for it. So here you go.

Warning! What you think about comes about.

Been kind of down since we lost our defense case in which California’s Department of Industrial Relations sued my wife and I for half of our San Francisco apartment building (Went all through that onerous imbroglio with my earlier question). Estimated immediate financial loss is at least $1.2 million. Don’t even want to estimate future rental income loss.

I think that my many and uncontrolled negative thoughts have made my life even worse. Suddenly several little things have been going bad.

Ford Ranger truck anti-lock sensor went out. The Ford dealer informed me that it will take a week to get a new sensor. Is that not totally insane? I mean a whole week just to get a part for a 2007 Ford Ranger? Are they sending the part x-country on the back of a camel? WTF!!! Also when the town truck guy was jacking up my truck to take to the dealer he saw that the right front suspension was broken. Total estimate of the repairs $1,100.

Pool pump suddenly died after 11 years. ($700)

“Mr. Midnight” (55 Chevy) have a fuel pump problem. Got stuck on the side of the busy road for 4 hours waiting for AAA tow truck.

“Miss Piggy” (other 55 Chevy) acting up. Sounds like carburetor issues.

Moles are absolutely destroying our front yard. Tried poison gas, flooding their hole with water and driving the car back and forth across the lawn to smash the little SOB’s to no avail.

Computerized cat door stopped working.

Sheba (16 year old cat) has terminal colon cancer and is crapping and peeing everywhere (except the cat box). Have her isolated in one large room with lots of windows. She seems to like it and appears comfortable. My wife wants to have her euthanized but I don’t think that it is that time yet. Sheba loves my attentions and purrs whenever I pet her. I think she can last another couple of months. I love that cat so.

Physically I’m doing great for a 65 year old. This weekend I’ll be padding in an outrigger canoe race from Molokai to Oahu (“Molokai Hoe” 45 miles). It will be good to leave the world behind for a while.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Riding the struggle bus. Making the best of it though.

stanleybmanly's avatar

This is upsetting. It never occurred to me that so many of us might be experiencing such awful travails. My gripes are quite petty by comparison, and I’m now ashamed to bring them up. I hope you guys manage to tough it through. @gondwanalon do your chevys both have the 265 block V8?

Seek's avatar

Pretty terrible.

I found out on Wednesday afternoon that I was expecting.

I’m currently suffering a miscarriage.

This week has been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster.

if you’re friends with me on Facebook, please don’t say anything on there. I couldn’t bear a public spectacle.

JLeslie's avatar

@Seek Were you trying? I had always thought you didn’t want more children.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Seek hugs

@all hugs

Jeruba's avatar

A miscarriage is a miserable thing to go through, whether you wanted to add to your family or not. I’m sorry, @Seek.

I’m sorry for everybody’s troubles.

jca's avatar

Wow, @Seek. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine. No words are adequate.

Everyone, ((group hug.))

johnpowell's avatar

I’m pretty good actually. After two years of fighting with my mom to move in with me so she gets away from the bag of shit she lives with she finally agreed. I got a two bedroom apartment about 15 minutes away from where she is currently living. Except for some clothes and computer she is all moved in. Current dude hasn’t even noticed she has 98% moved out.

My mom has paid all the bills there and I have never seen the dude stand up. And he begs for my mom to buy him weed all the time. They have no mortgage and they tear through my moms social security (1700 a month) in a week. They manage to spend like 20 bucks a day on fast food.

Only real problem here is the dude said he will kill himself if my mom leaves. He sleeps with a loaded shotgun next to his bed. My mom seems indifferent to the suicide threats.

But overall I am pretty good. My teeth are kinda fucked so I need to get that sorted and it is going to be very expensive.

ucme's avatar

I remain as happy as a pig in shite…which is nice

Sneki95's avatar

Truth be told, it’s not really that bad, but there is some “background noise”.

The biggest problem is that I need one more exam to pass into the third year. This exam season drained me and I lost almost all will to study, but I have pass that one more. Dammit.

Also, remember that question about war that I asked some time ago? It still stands. They don’t talk about Croatia much, but now there are some tensions rising in Bosnia. It seems that everyone is pretty much certain shit’s gonna hit the fan (again). I try not to think about it too much and am way calmer than when I asked that question, although it’s in the back of my head all the time.

And on top of it all, I got ill. Just yesterday I was fine, but now my head feels like it’s going to explode. The last thing I needed right now….

Looked from afar, and ignoring all of these minor disturbances, I could say I’m fine.

MrGrimm888's avatar

My condolences @Seek .

cazzie's avatar

I love my @Seek and I want to go hold her hand sooooo much. Don’t worry about enough tears. I got you covered.

JLeslie's avatar

@Seek I didn’t mean to imply it doesn’t suck to go through a miscarriage whether the pregnancy was originally wanted or not. But, if you were freaked out you were pregnant it certainly is different than planning a pregnancy and miscarrying. Either way it’s an emotional roller coaster.

flutherother's avatar

Sorry to hear that @Seek

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Well, jellies are going through some rough patches. @Seek, very sorry to hear this.

On a brighter note my life has turned around from the last time this was asked. I left a job that was crushing me with stress for one that is more reasonable. My marriage is 1000x better now that I have some time and energy for it. My wife quit her equally shitty job and is finally in a good therapy program for some issues that she endured in the past and is making good progress. We moved out of the little condo that was suffocating us to a more relaxed suburban environment and it has probably saved our marriage. We were close to calling it quits a year ago. Two very tired, stressed people in a small space is a recipie for getting a divorce. Can’t even relate now to how we were then. Aside from a little weight gain from two or three years of utter turmoil I’m feeling healthy.

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cookieman's avatar

((HUGS)) to my fellow Jellies. I’m very sorry to hear about everyone’s difficulties. I’m also glad it is going well for others.

Love to all.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Woa! Seems like a lot of you are going through tough time lately. Hug for you all.

I’m fine, generally. Although I have a feeling I’m down on my luck at the moment. Dealing with recent attacks from aggressive mosquitoes, a clingy “friend” refusing to get my subtle message that our relationship is over, a school project not going as well as expected, having my brother behind me everywhere asking for something unreasonable, my grandma admitted to hospital, and most recently, having some issue with freaking Facebook and having my account disabled from some functions. I’m still praying for some silver lightlings at the end of the day.

Seek's avatar

@JLeslie I’m not going to even dignify that soulless nonsense with a response.

Aethelwine's avatar

Not well. That’s all I’m going to say.

hugs, seek

Seek's avatar

Hugs back, everyone.

janbb's avatar

Love and comforting arms to you @Seek. Very hard to go through.

chyna's avatar

@seek. I have no words, just hugs.

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Seek's avatar

This is why I didn’t tell anyone I know IRL about this. Thought it wouldn’t happen here.

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Aethelwine's avatar

Some people like to compare struggles. It’s frustrating. That’s why I didn’t include my issues in my answer.

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canidmajor's avatar

I’m grateful to be OK at the moment, my heart goes out to all of you having a rough time, for whatever reason.

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canidmajor's avatar

guys, really, please stop! There is NO POINT to this continuing bashing. Start another Q instead of hijacking Jake’s well-meant, concerned for ALL OF US question.

cazzie's avatar

@canidmajor Absolutely…. and I will be asking questions in perhaps a few weeks from now, but NOT NOW, because I’m sensitive to the feelings of those around me.

rojo's avatar

Overall I am doing ok.

I am fed, relatively healthy, have a roof over my head, long time friends, no major family difficulties and enough for a few craft brews every now and then.

Could be better but could also be a lot worse off.

canidmajor's avatar

And now I wonder how many won’t answer because of fear of being judged and chastized?

Mimishu1995's avatar

Woa woa woa what happened here? Isn’t this thread supposed to be about how we are all doing?

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cazzie's avatar

And yes, amongst all this censorship… that is what happened… and some of us where pissed about it.

canidmajor's avatar

Yes, @Mimishu1995, it’s a lovely question from a lovely jelly who expresses caring and concern for all of us, which seems to have been hijacked so that one person can express her dislike of another.

Thank you @Hawaii_Jake for asking, I think it’s a shame that your concern has taken this turn.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I woke up to see a lot of modded responses. Of course, I do not know what happened, but there are hints, and it makes me sad.

I edited a collection of writings from a group of Japanese teachers of English many years ago. Many years. It seems like another lifetime. I put one short essay first. It was about finding meaning in small, daily efforts. The writer talked about the meaning of sweeping the floor.

I suggest we all take a moment and go sweep.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

To all here: Hugs. I’m really sorry and surprised to read many of these posts. Please accept my sympathy.

I’m good. Recently, I have had an interesting adventure thrown in my path representing more pleasure as I’m a mere observer, than anything negative. A new adventure is always good at my age. I spend a lot of time thinking to myself these days, “Been there, done that (yawn).”

I really can’t describe it, but it is interesting and might be forced to cross beyond some personal boundaries that I didn’t know existed until now. It’s the difference between intellectualizing a given situation and actually living it. It could get kinda weird by next weekend. We’ll see.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@canidmajor I missed the drama, but I saw the very first response that was modded. My guess is that the response was aimed at one of our jelly unfavorably, and it caused a war.

Seriously this is the first time I’ve seen personal attack on this thread. The other ones were so warm and welcoming… This series of questions is supposed to be warm and welcoming! Please people, every one of us deserves sympathy. Please keep this thread the same way as it always were!

cazzie's avatar

@Espiritus_Corvus You are welcome to intellectualise that with my group in Science Friday, Second Life. We would love to have you there. Trust me when when I say it is a more discerning group.

gondwanalon's avatar

@stanleybmanly Mr. Midnight has a 327 V8 and Miss Piggy has a 235 straight 6.

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Coloma's avatar

I’m sorry to hear of so many struggles for some of you right now. @JLeslie, @gondwanalon and I am so sorry @Seek and @jca for your crushing losses this week. :-(

I’m doing alright, not spectacular, not horrible. Been extremely busy, and getting ready to move again, for the 2nd time in 4–5 months, from my temporary housing in the RV I restored a few months ago to the pool apartment here on this property. The good news, it is going to be a great place to land, and long term, short of unforseen whatever, like death or dismemberment. haha
I will have a full kitchen again, and it is being completely refurbished with brand new paint, carpeting and installing a sliding glass door for more light and air. On a down note, I think my computer is on it’s last legs and so, may have to dip in what little savings I have and get a new laptop soon.

After all the change and upheaval of this past few years since I was thrown to the lions in the recession, really, I am just sort of living in a state of emotional limbo, some days are good, others I am not a happy camper at all. Things have/are changing for the better but I feel like I have aged about 10–15 years in the last 3–4. I mourn for my old self, the happy go lucky, optimistic, and cheerful me but I soldier on, some days are better than others, and sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I almost feel happy again.

One day at a time.

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Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I suddenly feel like I’ve been transported back to an elementary school playground.

@all How did the sweeping go? I swept my place this past weekend, so I skipped it just now. I’m at work, and I’ve got some good things to take care of that will occupy my time. It’s nice to be wanted.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Well I’m on that bus @Mr Grimm888 is talking about. However, reading all those posts makes me realize that others are struggling with much harsher situations and coping darn well. All the best to all you brave fighters out there.

MooCows's avatar

I have no real reason to be unhappy but I am.
My sons finally got on their own at 23 and 25
and so we are empty nesters and I hate it.
I feel like this farm is a money hole and we
are filling it and getting nothing back. My
husband will not take a vacation and is so
serious about everything it is no fun at all
around here. When he gets frustrated as
all farmers do because there is always something
not going right…esp when you are oc and
doing it all yourself because your sons did not
want to work with you because you are way
to picky about how you want everything and
they finally got tired of being yelled at so they left.
I am stuck here with you at the farm and have
no friends around…no restaurants or movies or
even a close wal-mart. You are so busy trying to
keep the farm afloat that you pay 0 attention to
me anymore. And day after day it is the same.
I want out but not quiet sure how at 59 with no career
and us having to sell the farm—no telling how long that
would actually take. I am blessed with food and a roof
but I am married but lonely.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Here is another {{HUG}} for anyone who missed them the first time. Keep on truckin’, folks.

Sneki95's avatar

@ZEPHYRA I have the same feeling. Makes you look at your own problems in new light, when you hear how others are doing.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Personal attacks have never been permitted on Fluther, not even in social.

I am struggling.
I was doing really well for a while, but the last 3 years have been pretty challenging. I had a (very expensive) surgery, which was a good thing, but the financial aspect was difficult. It was physically very hard on my body and caused me to lose my hair for the following year, which may sound like a minor thing, but it was really hard on me. I came home from surgery to learn bad news about my husband, which has since been resolved, but it triggered a lingering anxiety for me that I have been struggling to shake. Even though that was a really great year for me all around and I was very happy, the stress was building and I was taking it in stride, but I don’t think that I had the capacity for anything more.

Then, we had a small housefire and were displaced for 2 months. That sent me spiraling into a depression despite my best efforts to take care of myself. I just was not able to keep up with the stress of it all. Throughout the cleanup and putting the house back together (which took a lot longer than the 2 months that we were out of the house), we were trying to get pregnant and I was trying to pin down other health concerns. It’s been a hamster wheel of doctors, and between thyroid medication changes and antidepressants and fertility medications, and simply stress, I have gained 15lbs. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is for me, if you know my history with body image. It’s really hard on me and my self esteem has been quite low as a result. Finally, fertility treatment is no picnic. I love hearing success stories, but I have the type of infertility diagnosis that causes doctors to turn people away from treatment due to a high chance of failure.

Despite all of the negatives, I have a lot of things to be thankful for. My spouse has been by my side throughout all of this and it has strengthened our marriage in a way that I didn’t know was even possible. I am hopeful to have a child someday, and as much as I’d love for it to be biologically mine, we have discussed the possibility of adoption if need be. So I look forward to being a parent someday in the future. I am able to spend a lot of time with and bond with my friends’ children and that gives me a great deal of joy, My family is close and supportive of our journey and I am “fortunate” that one of my closest friends has been going through fertility treatment at the same time as me. Though, I am not happy she has to go through it, it’s been a unique blessing to have each other to lean on for the last few years. Not many people can say that. I know that this will pass and that better days are coming, just have to keep pushing forward.

I’ve always appreciated these threads, @Hawaii_Jake. Thank you.

chyna's avatar

@anef You are truly a good, kind person that has had some bad times but can still see the good. You are someone that we all can look up to and aspire to have your unique outlook on life.

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Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I can’t remember why I asked this question the very first time. That was years ago.

I have repeated it, because I like to see how resilient we all are. We are ordinary people, and some of us are facing extraordinary trials with a great deal of grace.

I like to see how other people manage their difficulties, too. It gives me ideas for managing my own.

Cruiser's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I like your sweep a floor idea to give one time to allow for a mental reset to take place. I also like to do something to take my mind off the immediate and will take the dog for a walk, go for a swim, kayak, bike ride…I call these activities meditation in motion. 20 mins to an hour and life takes on a more manageable perspective.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Cruiser Walking does that for me, too. Excellent.

rojo's avatar

Funny you should mention sweeping; I have just finished the entry and sat down to the computer for a few minutes.

I have busted out the old wood floor but it was glued down to the concrete slab so now I am scraping up the old hardened black adhesive trying to prep it for new slate tile.

I have swept it at least a half dozen times today but sometimes you need a clean sweep to find out exactly where you are and where you still need to put in additional effort.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The thing I find unsettling in the answers to this question is that such a large proportion of our membership is facing up to such horrific challenges simultaneously. Were it not for the inquiry from Hawaii Jake, those afflicted would be here participating in the daily humdrum and boredom to my indifference. If this little sampling actually reflects the background in the landscape we occupy, what point is there to optimism?

cazzie's avatar

Let’s see…. This week, my best friend, who lives thousands of kilometres from me to the West is having a hell of a hard time health and family wise. She has mentioned these problems here and has had those problems belittled by a a jelly and has had every post defending her feelings and problems deleted. My other best friend, who isn’t a jelly, (lives in Indonesia) had to quit her job because the woman running her new place of employment was a horrible corrupt beast who was paying bribes to anyone she thought might pay her way into the inside track. (This is NOT an American Company… quite the direct opposite) ... My friend found out that her sister’s breast cancer is back so now has to work out how to pay for some sort of health insurance so her sister can get he help she needs. She has picked up the pieces and formed a consulting company but still has no income until they get their name out there and sort out some contracts. She has leads and sounded hopeful so I’m glad for that. I’ve contracted some sort of virus and am losing work. I need to see a doctor so I can get some sick pay. I got sent home today because I was coughing too much with the kids and grown ups. My kid had to report a classmate for sexual harassment, against his wishes, but rules are rules….. and when my kiddo told me, I told him I had no choice but to write a report, and he said he knew the rules, but he said he felt better that I knew than to keep it secret because it was bothering him and he had to tell me. So…. I had to do that just tonight, so there will be that to contend with.
I’m proud of my friends for being strong and loving their families. I’m proud of my son for sticking up for himself and knowing right from wrong.
I don’t have anything to worry about. I’m a doctor’s note from being paid for my sick days. I’m strong. I know what my goals are. I love my life. I’m grateful. I love. I am loved.

canidmajor's avatar

Being able to air some of these things is helpful to sort things out in and of itself. I have had times in my life where even formulating the sentences to describe what I find difficult or painful is the first step to healing. Thanks for giving us this opportunity to do that, @Hawaii_Jake.

Cruiser's avatar

@stanleybmanly At face value I would agree with you about the eye opening descriptions above, but as an owner of a company I am reminded daily that everyone here at work has their own ongoing battles with unfun troubles. Also I can look back over the last 22 years of just my marriage and I can’t think of one year that did not have some crisis at the time to contend with.

I think what caught me by surprise more is how seemingly normal the lives of these Jellies seem on a day to day basis and then this question comes along and out pours all this crap near everyone is and has been dealing with. That to me is a true testament to the resolve of the Jellies I have come to know here. Hat’s off to @Hawaii_Jake for giving us a proper place to express these very personal moments of our everyday life we work so hard to navigate and keep to ourselves.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@stanleybmanly I choose optimism. I live with a mental illness. It is vital I choose a more light hearted way every day. It’s quite possible I will not have that choice at some future point, because my brain may decide to take that choice away.

Choosing optimism is the bravest thing I do.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m with @Hawaii_Jake. I look for the good in my life, because I’m hardwired to miss it. It’s there, but I have to remember to see it and appreciate it, otherwise the hardships of life get to be too much.

rem1981's avatar

I’m bored out of my mind. I sold my property in Mendocino and moved to LA 2 years and haven’t done much since. I’m at a fancy gym right now surrounded by fake people who need a punch in the face. This afternoon I’ll watch the celtics game and try not to drink. Tonight I’ll smoke weed till I pass out. Tomorrow I’ll do it all again.

Seek's avatar

I appreciate you, @Hawaii_Jake, and I appreciate this question.

I was thinking about going back yesterday to find the last installation to unload my feelings about what’s going on in my life, just because there are so many feelings that I need to scream, but I have to keep everything so bottled up in real life.

My husband is so sad and he feels like he can’t be open about it because it’ll hurt my feelings, and I want to spare his feelings so I won’t be open to him. And neither of us can be open with Ian because he’s eight and wouldn’t understand. He knows I’m “sick” and have been to the doctor twice, but apart from a “tummyache” he doesn’t know anything. I’ve never lied to him about something this big before, and he’s begged for a little brother or sister for years now, at least once a week.

Not that it’s anyone’s business, but since I have been so open about my desire to not ever be pregnant again, I want to say that I’ve never said I didn’t want more children. My desire to not be pregnant is based entirely around fear of repeating all the painful, life threatening complications I had in the past.

I love kids (especially after they’ve passed the toddler phase), and if I could order up a five year old right now, I’d totally do so.

Was I trying to be pregnant? No, not particularly. Was I more than happy to accept it? Yeah. That’s why I had a doctor’s appointment less than 48 hours later to find out how I could best maintain a pregnancy without nearly-dying again. And that’s where I got the news that there was a 50% chance I’d miscarry.

Hubby wanted me to be optimistic. I was tentatively so. His optimism was punished.

How am I, really?

I’m happy to have a friend like @cazzie, who sat up with me messaging back and forth about every feeling I had for hours and days, even while she’s battling illness herself. I’m so lucky to have someone that will go to bat for me against any slight to my emotions. She is family to me, and I love her dearly.

I’m glad to have a place to come to vent my emotions without causing pain to the people physically closest to me. And I’m beyond grateful at the support I received from nearly everyone.

If I can find a bit of optimism in this thread that went sideways in the exact way I’d hoped it wouldn’t, it would be that I am fortunate enough to know people who stick around through the fights and the bullshit to hear how everyone’s doing, really, on installation number 10 of this question.

Sneki95's avatar

@Cruiser @stanleybmanly You two put it quite well. This whole thread was a good idea, when you think about it.

I don’t know about the rest, but I never talked about my issues I put here with others around me. Maybe that is with others here too. Here we all had a chance not only to tell what is on our minds, but to see that we are not the only ones with struggles. When you see someone talking only about his favourite movies and anecdotes from life, you think s/he has no problems and that their life is great, while reality is completely different.

This will sound stupid of me to write, but after I read the answers here, what came to my mind was “and I thought I had it bad”. What I mean is, when you see just how much shit others go through, your own problems start looking differently to you.

I hope everyone gets well. I don’t know any of you and I’ve never seen your faces, but I really hope you will manage to go through your troubles and keep the smiles on your faces.

I thank @Hawaii_Jake too for asking us this.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

For people who might be curious, here is the first time I asked this 6 years ago. I don’t have time to look back through the thread right now, but I was surprised at my own answer in the OP. Things have changed a lot.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Healthy as a horse:
Cholesterol total is 114 and the bad Cholesterol is 39. (it use to be 200 total and bad was 85). Blood pressure is 120/76 and my pulse rate is 68. Just had my annual physical.

rojo's avatar

On a lighter note and to brighten up the mood, (for those so inclined) how about a little Always Look on the Bright Side of Life Thanks Monty Python.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Well shit. I came back to scorched Earth again.

All I want to say is ;

Peace and love to all.

MrGrimm888's avatar

In addition, I’d like to wish luck to those in Hurricane Mathew’s path. Hopefully you’ll be ‘really doing’ OK after it hits. My area is under evacuation.

I have to stay.

If nobody hears from me again, the powers probably just going to be out for awhile. Or I washed away.

Seek's avatar

Who’s evacuating? Should I be watching the news?

JLeslie's avatar

Governor Scott was just on. No one is evacuating yet. If anyone is evacuated it will likely be palm beach county or north of there on the east coast, although it might be the entire east coast. It does look like Wednesday they will officially declare an evacuation though.

ucme's avatar

With me being currently free from any strife, differing from the touching & brave stories shared here, I feel rather like Chief Brody in that scene from Jaws where Hooper & Quint compare each others scars & the reasons behind them. That’s okay though coz I just got a paper cut, does that count?
Only playing with y’all, it’s good for morale you know ;-}

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Thanks for asking @Hawaii_Jake By the way !

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ve been very depressed but my mood was brightened by a visit from a former jelly this afternoon. EvelynsPetZebra, his wife and an internet friend of theirs from California stopped by. We just spent the past two hours chatting in our backyard on this beautiful fall afternoon.

This was the first time I’ve met a jelly. I may not always show it, but I really do appreciate my jelly friends.

canidmajor's avatar

@jonsblond, what a fun afternoon! And knowing how you feel about Hallowe’en, I imagine that that’s a nice mood lift a well! :-)

Lonelyheart807's avatar

Not good. I’m missing a friend big time who I haven’t seen in months. I never realized how much he brightened my day.

janbb's avatar

I could bitch and moan a bit about little things that make me anxious but basically I’m doing all right.

It was rewarding to read all the sincere positive supporters posting in this thread and reminds me of one of my favorite adages: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@janbb I’ve seen that attributed to Plato and The Buddha. I actually think my Uncle George said it first. He was a good guy.

janbb's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I heard it attributed to one of the Plinys – not sure if it was Elder or Younger.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Well Uncle George (or Plato or The Buddha) must have been wise men @janbb and @Hawaii_Jake.

Thanks for asking the question @Hawaii_Jake. I’m busy, but beyond that doing fine. I have to respond to a question I asked earlier, but I haven’t had chance to write an appropriate response, but I’m feeling better about something that was bothering me. So now I just have to meet deadlines, which in the whole scheme of things is a small problem.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Gov. Haley called for evacuation. We’re reversing our interstate highways tomorrow….

It’s not going to hit us here. I’m not worried.

Seek's avatar

Seems a little early to call it for South Carolina. We’re not even under any kind of watch in Tampa.

rojo's avatar

@janbb I believe it was Pliny the Whiny, a sadly forgotten younger sibling of the younger

JLeslie's avatar

Barrier islands of Brevard County are being evacuated. That’s the Space Center area for those who don’t know. I don’tt even think they are bothering with the mainland coast of FL at this point. Im not sure though.

It does seem a little early for the Carolina’s.

@Seek I don’t think Tampa is expected to get anything too fierce. Maybe just some rain.

Mariah's avatar

Just arriving. I’m so sorry to hear your news, @Seek, and so many others who are struggling.

I can’t complain much. I bounced back fast from my layoff and have been with my new company for 3 months as of today. I really like this job. It’s hard to complain about what my health is now when I compare it to what it was 5 years ago, but I am have some troublesome doctor problems. Winter is coming and I’m not ready for it.

Love to my jellies.

SmartAZ's avatar

I am lonely as h*ll. My family members generally don’t seek each other’s company, I live in a town that is almost abandoned (because the rent is free), and when I look for social contact on the internet, there seems to be a flood of hate wherever I go. I don’t know anything to do instead.

janbb's avatar

@SmartAZ Check out meetup.com and see if there are any activity groups that you might like to join. It’s how I made my new life after my Ex left.

cazzie's avatar

@SmartAZ Also come visit us in our virtual world of Second Life. It is a community and I have real friends there as well.

snowberry's avatar

About a year ago I was injured, and took a break from Fluther while I dealt with life. Now I’m back.

Since then we moved, daughter moved back home to pay off her student loans, we are in the process of finishing up refinancing the house, and I’ve signed up to volunteer at the elementary school down the road.

cookieman's avatar

@snowberry: All sounds good. Are you feeling better from your injury?

snowberry's avatar

@cookieman My life is certainly not the same as it was. But I’m okay.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Sorry to hear that @snowberry. But at least you are doing fine.

Seek's avatar

I’m just barely starting to even out, emotionally and physically speaking.

My brother, who is bipolar, had an episode two weeks ago that landed him in the psych hospital. His roommate kicked him out for not paying rent during that time, and he got fired for no-call, no-show.

He got out two days ago. So he’s staying with us here until he gets his stuff together.

I love my brother, but damn if this wasn’t really bad timing.

Coloma's avatar

I’m coming along with the renovations on my new little abode but haven’t been taking great care of myself, super busy, not eating or sleeping well and the fall allergy scene has got me kinds dragging. I also hung up on my daughter last night, we usually get along great but…she has a strong tendency to give unsolicited advice when I just want to share what’s gong on. I don’t need or want advice.
We had one of those ridiculous devolving conversations where, in the end, you don’t even know how the fuck you got there. lol

Everything I say she counters and it just devolves into a fucked up point/counterpoint circle jerk. Gah!
Pissed me off and I told her I was hanging up now and did.
She sent me an apology email but I am not ready to respond yet. I don’t need this at all right now.

cazzie's avatar

Wraps arms around Seek and Coloma and gives them a big hug

MrGrimm888's avatar

Yeah. Group hug time. Misery loves company.

Coloma's avatar

Well..my daughter and I worked out our differences, sheesh, talk about the languages of love. lol
She is the fix it type and I am the just freaking LISTEN to me type. Fuck, communication issues suck. It’s all good but man….sometimes.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Coloma Sounds like what I’m dealing with at home everyday…

Coloma's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Frustrating isn’t it?

Soubresaut's avatar

This is a wonderful question tradition—thank you @Hawaii_Jake! It’s remarkable to hear snippets of what everyone is going through. My heart’s out there for everyone, especially those who are experiencing hard times.

I’m back at home after three years away at college—the grad program I’m in is in my home city and I can’t afford to live on my own yet. In many ways it’s comfortable being back. In other ways it’s hard—I was just getting to make connections with people in my college town (I take an exorbitantly long time to get to know people) and changing to an entirely new social group is not something I’m doing terribly well with at the moment. My dad has been angry and quick-tempered for as long as I’ve known him (with varying lengths of time where he’s overly and self-centeredly happy), but now it’s become a string of ailments. I guess he’s got some autoimmune thing going on because he had arthritis in one hip for years (contributing to his anger when I was growing up), and now it’s arthritis in his other hip, in his neck, in ligaments in his chest, and in one of his eyes. He has never been one to handle being sick or injured well, although he claims he does. He’s also desperately unhappy but won’t do anything long term to help himself—has been off and on SSRIs for a few years now, and doesn’t like the weight gain. Decides to go on drastic diets for weeks at a time that he can’t sustain. Throws himself into exercise for hours a day until he hurts himself and limps around until he can do it over again. Bought an old convertible to clean up and drive around, but now he’s bored taking care of it and decides he doesn’t like driving a convertible long-term. Spends most of his time at home sitting on the couch watching TV and playing games on his computer. Isn’t going into work regularly anymore (I mean, he’s got months of vacation saved up because he never wanted to take it, but it’s probably not good the erratic way he’s spending it all.) My mom’s frustrated and weary with dealing with all of this for as long as she has—it’s always been something with him, I guess, since the time they’ve been together. I’m struggling to feel like I can make friendships or other interpersonal connections with people because I’ve been fearful for years of stepping into unhealthy relationship patterns, of not feeling like I can be someone’s friend or partner without hurting and exhausting them, because I know the main relationship I’ve seen growing up has been one of two people unable to give the other what they need (which for one was maybe something no one could give). In a nutshell, I’m letting my insecurities mess things up in my life, but that’s nothing new for me. And otherwise I have little I can complain about.

rojo's avatar

Coming off a bad week of gout but doing better today.

Coloma's avatar

@rojo Yikes! I had my first and only experience about a year ago. I had a bunch of shrimp and a few rich beers one night in the summer and the next morning I couldn’t figure out why my bog toe on my left foot hurt do bad and was all inflamed. I kept thinking I must have hurt mysel but couldn’t remember anything unusual. Turns out it was gout.

Took about a week to get better. No more beer and shrimp and for me. Well…at least not at the same time. haha

rojo's avatar

Yeah, this time it was my “bog” toe again although it has occurred at my knee and ankle before as well.

I think I am going to have to become a wino. I looked at a website about keeping the purine levels down and it says to stay away from beer (my favorite bevvy) reduce the consumption of liquor (damn, is gin liquor) but says wine is fine.

Now if I can just find a wine that tastes like a good IPA.

canidmajor's avatar

@rojo: I do fine with the whites and the light spark lies, but the deep reds, the richer flavored wines, make my gout flair up a bit.

MrGrimm888's avatar

@rojo. You could put the alcohol up your butt. You would still get the effect but it might not affect your gout.~

Keep hope alive.

Peace n love

rojo's avatar

@MrGrimm888 Naw, it makes the beer taste shitty.

Coloma's avatar

Fell on my back today in the rain, slipped on a bunch of wet leaves. Ow!
I’m okay, I guess, but tweaked my arm, back, neck and hip. Falling sucks!

Oh, and I also threw my entire cup of coffee all over myself.
It was awesome! Covered in wet leaves, dirt and coffee. Super special moment. The only good thing, nobody was around to see me biff it. lol

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

That’s no good @Coloma. I hope you haven’t caused any injuries. Feel better soon.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@Coloma It didn’t happen, there were no photos.

Feel the the pain, I’ve done the same thing.

janbb's avatar

Very unsettled lately. Lots going on yet not enough at the same time…..

canidmajor's avatar

Spent the evening with friends, we were surprised that the widower (of my friend who passed Sunday) showed up for a pint and sandwich. We were all very glad to see him, he is as dear to us as she was. He will be OK, we hope, we feel.
It does go on, even when the awfulness happens, we heal and it goes on.

janbb's avatar

^^ “I can’t go on – I’ll go on…”

Samuel Beckett

Coloma's avatar

When you fall, don’t worry, I will always be there to catch you. The Floor.

cazzie's avatar

‘I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.’ – the Piano has been drinking

JLeslie's avatar

Doing better. We closed on our new house and I’ve been unpacking. My husband had a great week at work, you might remember we bought a business we know very little about. That sounds a little ridiculous. Lol.

cazzie's avatar

I’m glad things are working out for you., @JLeslie . Change, moving house and the unknown are always the most stressful. I’d love to hear how the business is going and how you’ve done ahead with it.

jca's avatar

@JLeslie: I’d love to hear details about your new abode. Also your plans for renovations and decorating.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Me too @JLeslie, and about how the business is going! I hope it’s everything you have hoped for. You’ve had a busy, tense time recently.

JLeslie's avatar

The business is going well in my opinion. We have been in the black every month since we bought it, so we are happy about that. It’s a golf cart repair business where we come to the customer’s house. Some of you already know we live in The Villages, FL, and it’s a town of over 100,000 people 55 and up, and there are over 50,000 golf carts owned by residents. Some people it is their only transportation. You can get everywhere by golf cart. Grocery stores, medical centers, restaurants, town squares, movie theaters, polo matches, banks, Walmart, Fresh Market, golf courses, everywhere in the city.

Some days my husband comes home so happy, which I’m very happy about. It always has to do with some customer being very pleased with his work. He worked in an office most of his career, so he didn’t deal with the public much. Some days he has to deal with unhappy customers of course, and that isn’t fun. Mostly, he is supervising, buying inventory, calling customers, and does a little paperwork, but I do 80% of the paperwork.

We still are fighting too much, but way way more normal times. Thank goodness. He calls me when he has a fear day to tell me the details. Like a young boy calling about the A he received on schoolwork. It’s cute.

The house is fine. It’s not perfect, but it’s fine. Perfectly comfortable. I would love to change the kitchen. Move the island, and new countertops, but that would also require busting up the tile floor, and then I’d want to tile the entire main living area, and it’s not justified in this house when we likely will only live there a year. We won’t be doing much of any decorating. Maybe put up some pictures of ours.

It’s nice to have our furniture out of storage, but right now we are in the middle of unpacking and it’s more work than usual in a way, because we are going from a 4,000 sq ft house to a 2,000. One of the secondary bedrooms is just full of boxes and a loveseat and ottoman up on their sides. The golf cart garage is full of boxes. The kitchen is ⅓ unpacked right now, and what will happen is unpacking the majority of the kitchen boxes and then repacking a few boxes with items we can store. The repacking is where it gets tedIous.

snowberry's avatar

We are in the middle of refinancing the house. It’s an unusually long slow process. Everything that can go wrong has. We are moving forward, but incredibly slowly. Hubby is having trouble sleeping because of the stress.

I’ve signed up to volunteer at the elementary school down the street. I’ll be helping little kids learn too read. It should be fun.

Our little dog is in training to become a therapy dog. We hope. It’s a lot of work.

JLeslie's avatar

Typo: not “fear” day it should be great day. Also, I said mostly he does supervising and calls, but he is out repairing also on some days, and those are the days he has the chance for a really great day where a customer is very happy. I don’t know if he has noticed the correlation between when he is out directly working with customers and that those are his days he has the chance to feel great.

@snowberry Was it you who had asked about your interest rate on your loan and something shady with the bank owner?

snowberry's avatar

@JLeslie No. It was here.
http://www.fluther.com/196014/can-you-help-me-with-our-bank-mortgage/

In my situation, I had to hire an attorney to straighten out issues with my dad’s trust, we had a flood in the basement, had to fight with Experian about our credit score (we won) and now we’re waiting for the carpet layers who are dragging their feet. It’s in underwriting now but if the carpet people drag their feet too much longer we will have to start over with refinancing. (Carpet people have already been paid.)

We’ve been at this job for over 6 months. Arg!

JLeslie's avatar

@snowberry I can empathasize with having to supply all new documents when you had already done it once. That has happened to me twice, but it was my own fault. In your case, having a carpet vendor put you in that position, because they aren’t performing as promised, would make me even more frustrated.

Why were the carpet people paid up front? Did your insurance do that? I haven’t bought carpet in a long time, maybe that’s typical to pay at the time of purchase. It makes sense as I think about it. If I purchased it from Home Depot I would pay ahead. The last time I dealt with carpet was when I worked for a general contractor, and he paid after the fact, but that is not the same as a home owner buying carpet. Did you put it on a charge card? Can you threaten to cancel the order and stop payment if they don’t do it by a certain date?

snowberry's avatar

@JLeslie Our house is in another state. The renter (who is like family to us) has been taking care of the cleanup and replacement of the carpet. She found a great deal on carpet and put it on her credit card, which we will repay when we refinance. She has a degree in interior design and seems to have an inside track on a lot of these things but we don’t really understand the whole story about why the carpet installation is taking so long.

It would be very awkward to try to grill her about the ins and outs of it, so we are simply waiting.

JLeslie's avatar

^^Makes sense. Does she know time is of the essence? She might be able to push them a little. Or, maybe you aren’t telling her you are refinancing?

snowberry's avatar

She knows, but maybe she has a different perspective.

Seek's avatar

I’ve started a new job – working from home doing customer support for a major online retailer that you may have heard of. I’m still in training but it’s promising. I’m working 4 days a week, from 7am to 6:30 pm, with two 45 minute meal periods during the day.

It’s really nice to be able to wake up 15 minutes before work, sit down in my jammies with a cup of coffee, and be helping my household. I hope I manage to be one of the few transferred to full time work after the holidays are over. It’s work that I’ve done before, but without all the office politics and soul-crushing gray cubicles and commuter traffic. I can take a nap during lunch in my own bed, or start getting dinner ready during my break. Basically ideal.

My brother is still staying with us for the time being. He managed to get his warrant voided so that won’t be a thing, and he’s working with the VA on getting some assistance finding a place to live. I wish he’d spend more time looking for work (like, any time) instead of sleeping 15 hours a day and watching people play video games on Youtube the rest of the time. But nagging him isn’t going to help, either, I’m sure.

I just want my house to myself again. Because he showed up so quickly to foist his issues on me, I have put my own emotional trauma on the back burner, and I know it’s going to come bite me in the ass eventually. I need to process this stuff before it festers into a deep depression. I have no desire to do that right now, this close to the holidays.

All in all, things are moving in a positive-ish direction. I think we’ll have pizza for dinner.

rojo's avatar

@Seek Meatlovers?

Coloma's avatar

^ I get the veggie delight with sausage. lol

@Seek Congrats on the new job, sounds great! I am not a morning person, though I do what I have to do. I love to be able to linger in my jammies with coffee for about 2 hours every morning.

Seek's avatar

Decided against pizza, doing chicken parm sammiches instead.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I’m beat.

20 plus hour day Saturday. I volunteer drive hospital vans for the Shriners Hospital. Up at 4:30 AM and back in bed at 1:00 AM on Sunday. Up at 8:30 to make breakfast for my wife ( I promised grits and poached eggs).
Tonight was traffic control at Halloween Treats at County botanical gardens for three hours. (We had over a thousand people visit including the high school marching band, that marched with people following through the event area. There were arts related groups and nonprofits handing out candy in the back parking lot. The whole garden area was lit up with strobes and walkways too.)

Coloma's avatar

Actually, I have had a couple of really shitty days, just gazillions of little stressors, well, some not as little as others, that finally culminated in a mini-meltdown earlier. I am feeling a little more grounded again. Gawd…some days. It takes a lot for me to have a melt down so when I do I know I am saturated to the core.

It really is true, when things are going wrong and you resist, even more goes wrong.
You slam your finger in the door then you catch your clothes on a cupboard and rip them as you fling the coffee grounds across the kitchen, then you slip and fall in the mud…on and on and on and on it goes….lol If I recited every-single-thing I have been dealing with the last couple days you guys would be rolling on the floor laughing at my anguish.

cazzie's avatar

My son is being sent home from school today for hitting a fellow student. It’s been ages since he’s clicked like this. I had plans for my only free day this week, but I guess there still won’t be any blood test or doctor’s visit or delivering my timesheet for work on time for payroll this month for me. He thinks he’s still going trick or treating but I have other plans for him now. I’m going to have him call BBE and talk to him about what he’s done.

JLeslie's avatar

@cazzie That sucks. Can you bring him to drop off your time sheet and get your blood test? Or, have him sit at school an extra hour while you run some of the errands?

I’m not a mom, but if there is some way to not punish yourself whilst having to punish him that might be worth doing. You probably thought about all the options, but just in case, I thought I’d mention some. My experience is mother’s put themselves last, I think that is necessary most of the time, I don’t say it with some new age idealist tone, but sometimes maybe they do it so automatically they don’t stop and say, “screw it, I’m doing my things first.” When they possibly can.

cazzie's avatar

It got too late waiting for him to walk home. I’ll make it to the store and post office but not taking him with. I can barely look at him right now.

JLeslie's avatar

@cazzie You made me laugh, but I know it isn’t funny for you. I always say my mom was a slave to us kids.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I’m back at work after a week off preparing last min for an 8 hr professional exam I took on friday. Mentally I’m blown and I will not even know if I passed for a couple of months.

cinnamonk's avatar

Can I brag a bit?

I have been completely sober for over two months, which is the longest I have gone without any drugs or alcohol since 2011 (possibly 2010). I know that most people would not consider this much of an accomplishment, but it is an accomplishment for me, and there is no one in my life who knows or cares.

Coloma's avatar

@AnonymousAccount8 Excellent, a huge congratulations to your strength and self control, not easy. One day at a time.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@AnonymousAccount8 I CARE A GREAT DEAL! That’s fucking amazing! Congratulations! I’ve been sober 17 years. 2 months is like a lifetime. Keep it up. Do what works.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Here’s a bit of news that’s not a surprise: This election is affecting my mental health. Seriously. I have called my therapist for an extra appointment this week. I am having very high anxiety, and last night, I took an anti-anxiety medication before bed that helped a great deal. It has worn off, and my stomach is in knots.

janbb's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I empathize. I had some real life events that were causing my anxiety and they have lessened but the election drama is an underlying dread.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@janbb I’m experiencing transference. The national anxiety is manifesting itself in areas of my life that seem unrelated. It’s horrible.

janbb's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake Eight more days and we’ll see what’s what. I had almost distanced myself from it the past week or two and then this FBI crap. Practice all your good self-care.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@janbb I spent a rainy Saturday inside listening to the Hamilton soundtrack. It was delightful, and now I have an earwig. “It must be nice…It must be nice to have Washington on your side.”

Sneki95's avatar

Congrats, Anonymous. Keep it up! :)

canidmajor's avatar

Excellent for you, @AnonymousAccount8! It is no small feat, every day is a triumph.

@Hawaii_Jake and @janbb, I too have had my anxiety levels ratcheted up by this excessively hostile political climate, and I hate that. Four years ago at this time I had no power (Sandy) and really enjoyed 4 days without all the crap. I was fortunate, I do fine without power. I wish I had the fortitude to just turn everything off, now.

Sneki95's avatar

“I wish I had the fortitude to just turn everything off, now.”

Just do it.

chyna's avatar

@AnonymousAccount8 That is a great accomplishment! Not to be downplayed at all. And you won’t believe how many of us on Fluther care about you.

Soubresaut's avatar

Another jelly here cheering for @AnonymousAccount8‘s success! That’s wonderful!

Coloma's avatar

Today is much better than the last few. I have been in a roll of misfortune, but today everything had gone quite smoothly. My car passed its smog cert. for my reg. renewal this year, yay, no car issues and I found a few little things for my new place that is being prepped to move in within the next few weeks. It is now 4:28 p.m. and I just arrived home without incident. Cautiously acknowledging this respite or extreme frustration. haha

@Hawaii_Jake Yes, just do it! All that news and media coverage is bad for you. What will be will be, screw ‘em all is my mantra. lol

cinnamonk's avatar

aww, thanks, you guys. :’)

JLeslie's avatar

@AnonymousAccount8 I care too. That’s a great accomplishment. Stick with it.

Soubresaut's avatar

I had a headache for most of the day; it came in waves, sometimes almost gone, sometimes throbbing. I think it was allergies-related—I’ve got some low-level sinus stuff going on because of allergies as well… I don’t like to complain about headaches because the rest of my family gets full-blown, searing, knock-you-out-for-the-day migraines, but this one definitely put me in a sour mood… It’s okay now.

I also got a paycheck from my new job and my name was misspelled. It was humorous. Instead of “Soubresaut” it read “Soubresabut.” But I called and it’s fixed now. And it let me accomplish something quickly on a day that I felt like I didn’t get much else done.

canidmajor's avatar

@Sneki95, it was a quick an casual statement.

Mariah's avatar

I’m in the ER as of 3am. Just another small bowel obstruction – we’re on #4 now – so not a huge deal, but I had managed to go 3 years without a hospitalization so you could say I’m a bit bummed to end that streak.

Seek's avatar

@Mariah – Hugs! We’re here for you. I’ll hang out if you’re sitting around waiting and need to chat.

janbb's avatar

@Mariah Hope you’re being taken care of by now.

jca's avatar

I’m eager for this election to be over and I think a lot of people are, also. The constant back and forth, back and forth about HIllary and Trump and who’s bad and who’s worse is becoming really intolerable.

My neighbor has his boat parked in my yard. I had a conversation about it with him over two weeks ago and he said he’d move it. He only comes around on the weekends and he hasn’t been here the last two weekends, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t want to start a war but I do feel he’s being disrespectful (which reminds me of the other thread “Does everybody want to be respected?”). I am not sure if he realizes where the property line is but either way, I’m going to have to have another conversation with him which I dread, because I really dislike any sort of confrontation. Even though I expect it to be nice, I still dread it.

chyna's avatar

@mariah Hope you are feeling better and are being taken care of. Hugs.

Mariah's avatar

You guys are lovely, thanks. They got me in relatively fast. I’ve been given morphine but still hurting quite a lot. Going in for a CT soon.

janbb's avatar

@Mariah Sending big hugs.

Sneki95's avatar

@Mariah hope you get well.

Coloma's avatar

Feel better soon @Mariah !

Mariah's avatar

Fuuuuuck. This might not be as small of a deal as I thought. My CT wasn’t totally conclusive but it looks like a different more serious type of blockage than my usual. It might need surgery to be resolved.

janbb's avatar

@Mariah Oh damn! So sorry for you. Keep us posted.

Seek's avatar

Oh, no. Definitely keep us posted, and reach out if you need moral support.

Soubresaut's avatar

What Seek and the Penguin said! ... Hugs Mariah!

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@Mariah Please keep us posted, I don’t “pray” but sending positive vibes your way.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@Mariah Thoughts and prayers. Be safe.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Mariah Please keep us updated. We’ll be waiting.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Oh @Mariah, I hope you are doing okay. We’re all thinking of you.

I’m tired, but good. Deadline met and finished with. On with the next task! It’s always a relief when I hit send and a document flies off to be reviewed.

janbb's avatar

Can’t sleep….

Coloma's avatar

I will get by, I will survive.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YSTeJOxiaw

jca's avatar

@janbb: That’s the worse. When that happens with me, I’m usually falling back asleep around the time I should be waking up. and then struggling to get up (late) and feeling like shit.

Seek's avatar

CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! HOOOOLY COOOOW!!

Oh, my, sweet Harry Caray that was a stressful game. I think I lost ten years off my life. My chest still hurts. Fantastic baseball. I still want to take a crayon drawing of the strike zone to that umpire, and I have more than a few choice words for Madden, but CUBS WIN. Ding, dong the goat is dead. I’m off to the butcher shop today.

Brother moved out. Got some help from some VA affiliate with his rent, so he’s moving back in with his roommate. That’s good because he was driving all of us nuts, mostly because he has no sense of common courtesy.

New job’s going well. I start taking calls tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

Fingers crossed for @Mariah

jca's avatar

Edit: @janbb that’s the worst.

rojo's avatar

I am saddened by an unexpected death of a friends son and the grief it has sown.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I cannot good answer that @rojo but I am sending you a hug.

janbb's avatar

@rojo Oh – that is so tough! Hug from me too.

rojo's avatar

As my friend said, “Go, hug your family. Now” Thanks to my fluther family and hugs back.

Mariah's avatar

Awww guys. Thanks for the outpouring of love here.

I had surgery last night. They opened me up and found my guts were twisted and adhered to my ovary and this is probably why I’ve had all these obstructions. They cleared away the adhesions and untwisted the twist and it’s possible now that my obstruction problems are over. It’s worth it to have had this more serious process since it will bring long term benefits. Of course, every time the abdominal cavity opens up, new scar tissue forms, so I can’t be guaranteed to have my problems over, but I’m choosing to take an optimistic view for now.

I’m healing up good. Was able to walk around a bit today. My parents drove up the 10 hour drive (so crazily dedicated. Love them), my boyfriend’s been with me for most of it tho he did head home to nap this evening which he totally deserved. My best friend is visiting tomorrow and one of my co-workers may too.

Still waiting for that first fart to just absolutely guarantee the obstruction has cleared.

janbb's avatar

Great to hear from you, @Mariah! Continue to heal well!

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@Mariah Good to hear your ok! please keep us posted

Coloma's avatar

@Mariah What an ordeal, I’m sorry, but if this surgery does clear up your issues that is a silver lining no doubt. Heal quickly!

jca's avatar

@Mariah: Glad you had the surgery and hopefully this solves all or some of your issues. Sending healing hugs your way!

JLeslie's avatar

@Mariah My left ovary was attached to my colon and when they cleared up the adhesions enough so my ovary and colon were no longer attached it fixed 90% of my digestive issues. It is not the same as your situation, because I did not have Crohn’s, and I know Crohn’s doesn’t get cured with surgery, the surgery just takes care of the current blockage. It may however help with some symptoms.

My symptoms were constipation, pain on both the left and right side of my colon down nearish my ovaries, but I knew it wasn’t ovary/GYN pain, but colon pain. It felt like I could feel the food moving through my colon. I also had terrible stomach pain. Not “tummy” pain, but actually pain up in my stomach organ up behind my left breast. One time I went to the hospital when it was severe to make sure it wasn’t a heart attack. I never bothered to go again, so I probably would have died if I was having a heart attack.

You’ve had part or all of your colon removed, if I remember correctly, so your symptoms would be different, but maybe some of it rings true.

rojo's avatar

@Mariah so glad things went well. Hugs and best wishes!

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Good to hear you are on the mend and up and about and hopefully farting now :-) I think it’s a rarity that people are thrilled when you fart. Really am glad to hear from you!

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Mariah glad to know you made it. But I’m a bit worry that you have to undergo so many surgeries…

Sneki95's avatar

Great to hear that, @Mariah. I’m glad you got well through it. Stay well, and have that fart as soon as possible :D

Soubresaut's avatar

So, so happy to hear you’re out of surgery and doing well, @Mariah! Keep taking care of yourself!

When you are totally back on your feet we will continue this celebration. I’ll pull the bean cake I made out from the frizzer, and we’ll all dig in. And then have a delightful after-party of cocktails and farts! Or maybe I’ll make bean pancakes. I’m not sure.

Mariah's avatar

Was able to move my bowels today, so here’s hoping they let me start taking fluids by mouth tomorrow.

Y’all are so funny and sweet.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Yay for bowel movements! Given my husband has Crohns @Mariah, I absolutely mean that! So glad things are moving. Feel 100% soon.

I am feeling happy. I went for the first swim of the season today. The water was 29 degrees. Lovely! My family are well. We’re all happy. My daughter has a new job. It’s nearly the end of the teaching year. I’m on target with my goals. Christmas is coming!

ucme's avatar

I am marvellous, simply marvellous…still

jca's avatar

I had a wisdom tooth taken out yesterday. No painkillers for recovery. I’m a rock star. Picking up antibiotics today.

Mariah's avatar

Still not allowed to consume anything, but did just get the tube removed from up my nose which feels excellent!! Dreaming of apple juice…..

cinnamonk's avatar

@Mariah, do you know yet when you’ll get to leave the hospital?

Mariah's avatar

Nah, taking it day by day. I’ll have to be tolerating solid foods before I can leave, and I’m not even ready for clear liquids yet. Pretty eager, sick of being here that’s for sure!

jca's avatar

@Mariah: The two times I was in the hospital I found it comforting that if something happened, some type of emergency, I was surrounded by medical personnel who would know how to handle it. I don’t normally feel this way in my daily life, but as you know, when you’re in a hospital you’re pretty sick (as now with insurance they’re likely to send you home if they can).

Mariah's avatar

Yeah, I have that to an extent but also have a profound understandimg that their ability to help me is largely limited by how effectively I communicate to them. I feel that responsibility heavily and often tend to word-puke on my medical staff a lot, and then it also stresses me out to not feel 100% coherent for that reason.

Mariah's avatar

Am sipping apple juice now and couldn’t be happier!

chyna's avatar

Yea @Mariah! You will be home in no time.

Mariah's avatar

Happy to be bright spot in a dark day – I am leaving the hospital today.

cinnamonk's avatar

@Mariah glad to hear it. Hope you’re taking good care of yourself and have someone around to help you out.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

@Mariah, that is good news indeed. You be kind to yourself and take time to heal.

janbb's avatar

I just had a long and satisfying conversation with my Paris son. He is one of my favorite people to talk over politics with – always a brilliant and nuanced take.

rojo's avatar

Must be depressed. Some friends were/are planning a somewhatsemiannual camping trip for the Turkey Day weekend to the Lincoln National Forest and, even though I have thoroughly enjoy these trips, I just can’t get excited about it. To the point of actually dreading the trip but dreading the saying no as well.

Probably doesn’t help that my frikkin’ big toe gout is acting up again. I have never had it occur again so quickly, it is usually years between attacks.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Let’s see. This has been one shitty week. Just coming out of a severe, nine-day gout attack; had to spend a fortune on Colchicine; Trump won the presidency; Leonard Cohen died and it’s only Thursday. I am depressed. The one good thing is that I’ll be sailing home tomorrow, thank god.

cazzie's avatar

@Espiritus_Corvus Hang out with me and my crew….. we love life, what ever it dishes out. Second Live is waiting.

Coloma's avatar

8:14 a.m. on the west coast and am moving into my new little digs today. Everything is coming together perfectly, super cute little place and inspite of being tired and out of it with fall allergies I am looking forward to setting up my awesome queen size memory foam bed with the wrought iron “molecule” bed frame this afternoon and sleeping in my bed tonight with my pussy cats. :-)

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Espiritus_Corvus I’ve been pissed off by Trump too. We really need to be together <hug>

Sneki95's avatar

@Espiritus_Corvus That sounds horrible, I hope you are fine now.

cazzie's avatar

In on my way to my step son’s mothers housewarming party with my kiddo and BBE who flew over to be here for kiddos birthday which is tomorrow. Feeling very loved and full of love for my ‘Frankin-family’. We may be stitched together a bit wonky, but that doesn’t lessen our love.

Coloma's avatar

Exhausted but thrilled with how my new little home turned out. I am so pleased with my creative endeavors, everything looks great! Time to go to my great reward now after a 16 hour days of moving and decorating. When I’m on a creative roll nothing stops me. :-)

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

@Mimishu1995, @Sneki95 and @cazzie: Thank you. I’m feeling much better now that I’m home with my dogs and sleeping in my own bed.

@Mimishu1995
Don’t worry about the US abandoning SE Asia to China. Our mutual political and economic interests are so deeply embedded in the Eastern Pacific that one measly little old president won’t undo them. He is not a dictator. He is the president of a democratic republic who must hurdle our State Department and their policies put in place since WWII, our many business interests in the area, and our congress—before his personal wishes alone can be considered.

There is no way we will allow China to have more control over the eastern Pacific. It would endanger Korea and Japan as well; two of our main trading partners. And if they are threatened, so would Russian naval access to the Pacific at Kamchatka, which would bring in Putin, who is a dictator. You are safe. Concentrate on your studies.

@Coloma: Congratulations on your new place. Are there horses?

Coloma's avatar

8:21 a.m. in the sunny CA. hills and whle exhausted totally loving waking up in my new space. The sun pours in in the mornings and enhances all of my colorful decorating and the effect is quite charming. last task to day to clean out the fridge at the old place and bring over a few odds & ends then mission complete!

@Espiritus_Corvus Yes, same property but I am in the guest cottage now with the pool just steps outside my door and the view of the expansive lawn and the white vinyl horse paddocks. Very nice and so cute! I have my own little gate through the back side of the pool area to my back door and the other door opens into the garage. I also have a big brick fire pit just outside my door. :-)

cazzie's avatar

Been reading updates about the earthquake in New Zealand today. I’m feeling worry and sadness and trepidation. Hugs to my fellow Kiwis!

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’m in New Zealand. I’m away from the earthquake zone. Lots of damage apparent. Hopefully minimal loss of life.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Espiritus_Corvus thank you for the insight. I know my country has to fence for themselves at the end of the day, but our military power is much weaker compared to China. And no one wants any war, we’ve had enough since the last war. It would be nice if there is at least someone that scares China off. If they break loose, they will stop at nothing to claim everything themselves, even with the same manner as Hitler. Guess that’s a threat to the US too.

I don’t have high expectation for Trump. I just hope he doesn’t let his ego run wild too much At least after the meeting with Obama he knew that being a president isn’t the same as being a reality show superstar. So… maybe there is a silver lighting for all of us :)

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