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jca's avatar

If you cut a muffin to put butter or a spread on it, do you cut it vertically or horizontally?

Asked by jca (36043points) October 29th, 2016

I never get muffins when I’m out, but about a week ago I needed something and so I got one from Dunkin Donuts. The counter person cut it vertically, so each side was equal (top and body of muffin). When I cut them at home, I cut them horizontally, so the top is one piece and the body is the other.

How do you cut a muffin?

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31 Answers

Seek's avatar

I break the top and bottom apart, eat the bottom first, then the top.

No butter, unless it’s an awfully dry muffin and really needs it.

si3tech's avatar

@jca Horizontally, @Seek Yes break apart.

CWOTUS's avatar

Horizontally, of course. What kind of barbarian would do else?

canidmajor's avatar

Me, @CWOTUS, I am the barbarian. I AM THE BARBARIAN!!!! (Raises scimitar, brings it down on the unsuspecting muffin, cleaving it into bloody halves).
@ARE_you_kidding_me, we can feast on muffin halves together!

LostInParadise's avatar

Symmetry rules. Cut it vertically.

If I have a sesame seed bagel and only want to eat half, I cut it vertically so I get half the seeds, and then cut the half horizontally and place those two pieces in the toaster oven.

BellaB's avatar

Horizontal thirds. The muffin top and then the stump is sliced in half. No butter/topping.

___

When they get delivered for meetings they are almost always cut in half vertically.

Strauss's avatar

Horizontally, if I cut it at all. I usually break the top off, slather the butter on, allowing the butter to melt down and through the bottom part, and replace the top. Then, if I am using a fork, I’ll cut a piece vertically with the fork, and put it in my mouth. Usually, though, it’s just me and my buttery fingers.

Soubresaut's avatar

I start from the edge and cut it in a spiral, then I unroll it and lay it flat on my plate.

Actually I want to try that now and see if it works. I go vertical when I have a knife, and horizontal when I am without a proper slicing instrument. Either way I’ll usually skip the butter.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I wonder if muffin cutting preferences are a window into personality somewhow.

jca's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me: Maybe they can be used for hiring purposes or when vetting a prospective romantic partner!

CWOTUS's avatar

I’ll bet that some of the monsters who would cut a muffin vertically are also Little Endians.

canidmajor's avatar

Pretty sure I’ve just been insulted, but having already established my barbarian leanings, I’ve probably been called worse and survived. :-P

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@canidmajor @CWOTUS just revealed some tech knowledge that only an embedded programmer or electrical/computer engineer would know. To answer that I will say I cut my teeth on the Z80, 6800 and 68000. My endianness preference swings both ways. I’m bi-endian.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I go vertical, but somehow I don’t think it matters.

CWOTUS's avatar

No, @ARE_you_kidding_me, any reasonably literate reader of English should know what a Little Endian is.

elbanditoroso's avatar

One little two little three little Endians…

Strauss's avatar

To cut a muffin sounds like a euphemism for farts…or worse!

Pachy's avatar

Depends on the muffin’s size but ususally I cut it vertically.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@CWOTUS then this is perhaps a little evidence of the personality differences between side and top cutters.

ucme's avatar

We have staff for that

canidmajor's avatar

Well, @CWOTUS, if Theodor Geisel didn’t write it, I guess I just a iggerent fūl.

CWOTUS's avatar

I had not realized how difficult it would be to find the origin of the terms “Little Endian” and “Big Endian”, as they have now been completely taken over by the computer industry.

So here you go.

canidmajor's avatar

I thought that you had just forgotten the tilde in your previous post, @CWOTUS, hence the response that I gave. Tongue was in cheek. I forget that that doesn’t fly here.

BellaB's avatar

@jca inspired me. Banana muffin tops for brunch today!

Seek's avatar

I’m a star bellied sneech, and I eat my toast with the butter side down.

ragingloli's avatar

Why not just eat it without anything?
Maybe just a cup of hot chocolate, or coffee.

jca's avatar

@ragingloli: It’s fine with me to eat it without anything, but still it would probably be cut so it’s easier to handle.

johnpowell's avatar

Vertical cutting explains Trump. Some of you are fucking bonkers and should be locked-up.

@Seek :: Butter down is the right way. Maximum flavor!!!

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