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JLeslie's avatar

What do you think about friends posting on facebook that their 8 year old children are afraid their friends will be deported or harmed by haters?

Asked by JLeslie (59842points) November 10th, 2016 from iPhone

I have my own opinion, but I’ll hold it for now, although you might be able to figure it out from how I have worded the details.

To further clarify I am asking about very young children and parents who have been saying things like they aren’t going to lie to their kids, and they feel proud that their children feel empathy for others if their child is a “white” American. I saw a post about a teacher saying she doesn’t know what to say to her very diverse classroom of kids where the kids are all worried about their parents having to leave or being taken away.

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33 Answers

Sneki95's avatar

“Reversed racism” comes to mind, as well as “humble bragging” and “being hysteric”.

Seek's avatar

My child is eight years old and he is my voting partner. I believe in raising my child to be a good adult, and that includes making sure he understands civics.

He’s home schooled, and we’ve spent this whole school year (from January 3rd to about Thanksgiving, I give him the month of December off) learning about how the government works.

He’s a kid in 2016, which means most of his TV watching comes from YouTube. The Trump campaign had loads of ads on the videos my kid likes to watch. Thing is, until the end of a political commercial, you couldn’t tell who had paid for it, because Hillary and Trump both just used clips of Trump talking.

Ian saw for himself the things Trump was saying, and they scared him. When I had to tell him yesterday that Trump had won, he immediately broke into tears.

We had a long talk about what our job is now, and that is to get to work on the midterm elections and 2020. We don’t stop writing letters to our representatives. We don’t stop voting every chance they give us, and we don’t stop embodying the change that we want to see.

Yes, some people may take this opportunity to be bullies. We will stand up to them. We will not remain quiet. We will not allow hate in our presence.

The arc is long, but it bends toward justice.

And if I’m quite frank, people who don’t raise their kids to appreciate their power in a representative democracy are exactly the problem we have right now.

JLeslie's avatar

^^I love that you are teaching your son to write your representatives. I’m not sure I agree with it having to be taught so young, but I don’t see anything negative about learning the power of the pen at such a young age.

Seek's avatar

Hey, he can’t vote for another ten years, but there’s no age limit on buying stamps.

Seek's avatar

Besides, these assholes “in charge” need to be reminded that there is a future generation they should be worried about beyond the profit margin of their favourite textbook publisher. These kids are GOING to grow up and they are GOING to vote. Better get used to making them happy now.

JLeslie's avatar

@Seek But, aside from all of that, are you reassuring your son, at least for now, that Trump isn’t going to go around rounding up people? I’m not talking about illegal immigrants, these kids are worried Trump is going to round up all their friends with darker skin.

canidmajor's avatar

@JLeslie: I think you underestimate the intelligence of children. By 8 years old, children have highly sophisticated cognitive abilities. Maybe discussing Melania’s past would be inappropriate, but discussing the possibilities of their friends’ potential futures is not. Things were said by Trump that are a matter of public record, that in fact would be almost impossible to avoid seeing in the real world, whatever age the children are. The trick will be, for so many parents, to not exacerbate the existing fear, but not to downplay it either. @Seek is teaching her son appropriate things, by the time most kids are 4 or 5 they are more than able to comprehend these conversations, often younger, in my experience.
Context and language are everything, here.

BellaB's avatar

Yesterday a friend in Atlanta told us that her some of her son’s classmates told him that he would be deported. He was born and raised in Atlanta. He is darker skinned and his father’s family came to the US from Morocco a couple of generations ago.

It’s legitimate for him and his friends to be frightened. People are scaring them. The children who are frightening them have had their racism legitimized by the US election.

Can they be reassured? should they be reassured?

BellaB's avatar

What do I think about it?

I think the behaviour of the people threatening others with deportation should be held up to the light.

Racism should not be allowed to hide. It should be exposed and called out as wrong and evil.

MrGrimm888's avatar

The reality is that sometimes the bad guys win. Life isn’t a Disney movie.

Children in Syria had to learn how life is at an early age. Children in parts of Africa are raped or become coked up child soldiers. Many Latino children who may be deported came from civil war torn areas in Central America.

It would be great if kids could be sheltered from bad things, but that’s not going to prepare them.for adulthood.

I would tell the children that nothing has happened YET, so try not to worry about it. Tell them certain things are not ours to control. Reassure them that no matter what, they’re going to be OK .

Most importantly, make them aware that fear , racism, greed, and or stupidity are what motivated this change. And like @Seek is doing, keep them informed of how to swing it back the other way.

Sugar coating this,or lying to protect their feelings is a disservice.

ucme's avatar

Kids have every fuckin right in the world to know who runs their country, more so if an arsehole bags the gig. I mean, the Don is so kindergarten friendly…

Humpty Trumpty built a big wall

Trumpah Loompah, bibitty boo…

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk…off she went with a Trump, Trump, Trump

jca's avatar

My daughter is 9 and we live in an upscale but rural, bedroom community for NYC. She gathered on her own that Hillary is good and Trump is bad. I don’t talk about politics a whole lot at home and my parents were Trump supporters so I’m not sure where she got her opinion from but it was in line with mine.

I haven’t tried to alarm her or anger her and frankly, I haven’t discussed the election results with her at all. I feel she needs to be able to study for school and do what kids do without any unnecessary anxiety. In my opinion, it will do no good for her to be anxious about Trump’s presidency.

I remember after 9/11, friends telling me their kids were afraid the “bad guys would drop bombs on the house.” My friends told their kids (at the time) not to worry, the bad guys were not interested in dropping any bombs on their house. It was realistic that any place in the US could have gotten any kind of terrorist act at the time but the parents knew not to have the kids worry.

When I was little, it was Nixon and Watergate and people hanging on planes and helicopters as they flew out of Vietnam. I remember on the news seeing Nixon’s impeachment hearings and him saying “I“m not a crook.” Other than seeing it, I don’t remember my mom talking about it. I started forming my own opinions about politics as a young teen during the Carter years.

I understand not everyone feels the way I do.

ucme's avatar

It’s like FB is the go to place for all your venting requirements, used to be that folks would kick the cat & punch walls…all hail social media, champion of animal/domestic abuse…woot!!

Cruiser's avatar

I think it is unfortunate and sad that there are people afraid and or spreading fear about Trumps plan to deport illegals. This is the fallout from a nasty election where the campaigns and media spread lies and misinformation in their desperate attempt to stop Trump. Trump’s plan is to only deport people here illegally and who have committed or been convicted of crimes.

If these parents truly don’t want to lie to their kids, then they should start by telling their kids the truth that Mr. Trump only wants to remove the really bad illegal criminals and not all illegals.

From Trumps immigration plan from his website 3. Move criminal aliens out day one, in joint operations with local, state, and federal law enforcement.

These same parents need to teach their kids that not everything they hear or read is true especially during political campaigns.

canidmajor's avatar

Yeah, but @Cruiser, as a direct result of his words, threats of violence and action against POC and immigrants (whether documented or not) and persons of a different religion and women have already escalated to a frightening extent. For so many, waiting to see what the official stance is doesn’t protect them from verbal and physical attacks done in his name.
I saw some of it myself half an hour ago at the gas station. In a deeply blue state, in my deeply blue town.

MrGrimm888's avatar

What if we deport our own citizens who have any criminal history? Does it sound like a good plan then?

If nothing about Trump’s election causes you pause, I’m not sure what to say. I will hold insult.

JLeslie's avatar

@canidmajor You might have missed that I complimented @seek and I didn’t accuse of dealing with these things when her son is too young, I only said I might have waited until a little older. I don’t mean learning about government and writing your rep, I find that very nice actually, I just mean subject matter that might be very anxiety provoking, to keep that down when possible.

I’m not commenting on intellectual capabilities, but rather emotional abilities. I see no need to overly expose or upset an 8 year old about such matters. I do have confidence that @seek keeps things at whatever level appropriate for her child.

I’m more with @jca, that at a very young age parents usually can easily tell their child not to worry, they are safe at home (thank God that is the case in our country) and the child will trust their parent and be fine.

I frankly don’t believe a bunch of the stories flying across email and facebook. The ines that are true are being passed as a “friend wrote/shared this” and maybe the few incidents happening because they circulate go round and round.

I really think hyping it up helps the racist people scare the public, helps Trump get elected, and if people truly are letting their kids think everyone with olive skin is at risk of being snatched by the government it is horrible.

I grew up knowing my people are sometimes hated, and snatched, and sent to the ovens. I grew up told it can happen in any country, but I also was told it wasn’t happening here where I lived. Not present day. I felt overall safe as a child with just few instances that I can think of.

I want children to believe they are beautiful, live in a place of freedom and opportunity, and they should pursue their interests.

Letting children of color hear liberals freaking out that Trump is going to deport everyone is practically abusive in my opinion. Talking about issues and politics is fine, but being hysterical isn’t, and a lot of people are so wound up in fear they risk causing unnecessary fear in their children.

When the time comes, and Trump is carding people on every corner, and locking people up, I’ll be the first in line to speak out. Until then I choose to be calmer, respect my friends who voted for Trump, and hope he isn’t as crazy as the crazy he used to win.

BellaB's avatar

8 is not too young to be aware of politics and the impact on our communities. At that age I was watching party nominating conventions (and discussing the candidates’ platforms) with my friends’ parents.

At 9, I asked my mother to come with me to canvass as the local party headquarters told me I was too young to go alone.


There is no good age to have your classmates tell you that you are going to be deported. I know the children involved in Atlanta – the boy’s younger (Irish-looking) sister has been told the same thing.

That school – and the other children’s parents – have a lot to answer for. My friend is determining what action she needs to take – other than caring for her children’s immediate emotional needs.

filmfann's avatar

My grandson is multicultural, African, hispanic, and European. He looks hispanic, but really he is a blend of everywhere.
Yesterday he got into an argument and fight with a hindu/indian boy over the election. The other boy was basically saying “in your face!” about the Trump victory, and shoved my grandson. My grandson then hit him in the shoulder. (He is 10)
The principal put him in detention.
His step father told him “good job”.

tinyfaery's avatar

It’s not just kids. My 36 year old coworker really thinks the apocalypse will come in the next 4 years. She’s Jewish and afraid the Nazi’s are going to get free reign of the country now. I kind of want to laugh, but she is truly fearful. She hasn’t come to work the last 2 days because she is emotionally distraught.

jca's avatar

@tinyfaery: It sounds like her problems are deeper than just Trump being President elect.

tinyfaery's avatar

@jca Yes, that’s true, but this is really affecting her and you cannot dismiss that.

JLeslie's avatar

@tinyfaery Plenty of adults are full of fear regarding the election, but wouldn’t you agree they should do their best not to pass the fear on to their second grade children? I’m talking about little kids. Obama is still President right now. Little kids don’t need to be terrified about who will be president. Would you agree with that?

That’s my real problem right now. It reminds me of the pro-lifers bringing their elementary age children to abortion clinic picket lines and the kids crying, begging women not to kill the baby.

jca's avatar

@tinyfaery: I understand, however, for example if I called my boss and said I’m not coming to work for the future because I’m fearful for my life, he’d say you need to get some mental help because it’s not realistic.

tinyfaery's avatar

@jca I guess whatever happens, happens. My employers are very understanding.

tinyfaery's avatar

@JLeslie I don’t get to have an opinion about kids (as I have been told all my adult life), because I do not have children.

Seek's avatar

That’s never stopped most people, @tinyfaery. Why should it stop you? At least you’re reasonable.

JLeslie's avatar

@tinyfaery You were a kid at some point.

Seek's avatar

If Donald Trump didn’t want children to be afraid of him, he probably shouldn’t have had his campaign staff buying ad space on Youtube, having commercials bragging about building a wall, and keeping out dirty Muslims show up before hundreds of Minecraft and Super Mario Maker “Let’s Play” videos.

As it is, the asshole-in-chief and his disgusting mentality has been all over every media outlet available for the last year. It would have been damn near impossible for an eight year old child with any kind of cognitive ability to not be exposed to it.

JLeslie's avatar

@Seek Fair to say kids would have seen Trump in the TV. I agree it’s almost impossible that they would not have.

jca's avatar

@ tiny faery: I work for the government so they’re definitely cool but that still doesn’t mean I can just say I’m out indefinitely because I’m worried about something unrealistic. Trump is not even president yet.

Pandora's avatar

There are already stories in facebook of women being openly harassed simply for being woman or a black woman and these turds think that with President Trump they can now openly be aggressive, insulting and threatening and nothing will be done to them. He isn’t even President yet. It doesn’t matter much of what he does. The damage is done. The racist feel empowered to let their freak flag fly and they were always a dangerous bunch and will be more so now.
I think their fear is very real and it will get worse before it gets better. Trump may have said the things he said to rile up the base and win, but he woke a sleeping monster. The monsters are embolden to roam now without fear of reprisal. I fear and worry for these children too. Pandora’s box has been opened by the Republican party and hated and evil are free to roam.

Kardamom's avatar

Have not yet read any of the other answers, will do so after posting.

My friend’s 6 year old girl went to school on Wednesday to have a 6 year old boy yell at her, “Your parents voted for a murderer!” and that she is “stupid because Hillary is a liar.” My friend’s girl went with them to the polls so they could explain to her how voting works. She was very excited to be possibly voting for the first woman President. The next day, because of the words shouted at her by this kid (who learned from his parents) she came home in tears. Six years old!

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