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Love_my_doggie's avatar

"I don't like you." As an adult, have you ever said those words to someone?

Asked by Love_my_doggie (10954points) December 1st, 2016

Not about someone, but to somebody.

I’m limiting this question to incidents during adulthood. Little children often say, “I don’t like you” to peers and adults, mean little or nothing by it, and move along quickly.

I’m guessing that very few people say those words often, if at all. Most of us avoid being so blatant, and who needs the baggage from a confrontational declaration?

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24 Answers

Darth_Algar's avatar

I have, and would have no qualms doing so in the future.

CWOTUS's avatar

I recall some heated arguments with my wife – before we separated – when she would tell me, and in so many words, “I love you, but right now I don’t like you very much.”

I’ve not said that, though.

ragingloli's avatar

No. A kick to the plums is usually much more effective.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

I remember saying that phrase only once, and it was to a relationship therapist.

My “other” and I had some serious issues and sincerely wanted to work on them. We went to a guy, having no background knowledge about him. I don’t recall whether we were referred, or whether we’d simply found him in the phone book, but he was unknown to us.

The man turned out to be silly and buffoonish. He spent an entire session making insipid jokes about everything we said. We were pouring-out our hearts, and he’d interrupt and make smart-aleck jokes. These weren’t witty, insightful quips; they were on par with the wisecracks of an 8-year-old class clown.

When the guy learned that we wouldn’t be returning, he called me and asked why not. I said, “I don’t like you.” He was stunned, as if I’d slapped him across the face, and wanted me to explain. I did so, pulling no punches.

He got all contrite and begged me to return with my partner. He said that I could help him “learn” how to be a better counselor. In other words, he wanted me to spend my time and money improving him and teaching him not to behave boorishly. I passed.

gondwanalon's avatar

I may think those words but I’d likely never say them. What’s the point in exposing all of your cards and burn a bridge. I may have to do business or have social interaction with that person in the future. Also it’s possible that I could later change my mind about him/her.

ucme's avatar

Nah, if I don’t like you then there’s no reason for us to speak, like ever.
Besides, it’s a completely redundant phrase because it presumes that person gives a shite.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, my ex husband. I told him right before I filed for divorce that I had realized I hadn’t liked him for years. haha
It was a wake up call for me when that light bulb went off in all it’s million watt candle power. The floodlight of awakening. lol

Mariah's avatar

I’m not good at being so blunt and direct so no, I don’t think I’ve said that to anybody in those words.

Your example sounds like it was very much called for, though, @Love_my_doggie.

Sneki95's avatar

I usually avoid the ones I don’t like.
Which doesn’t happen often, because I dislike very few people.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I did once tell a female friend to fuck off online in university… it ended badly. she still won’t talk to me.

Seek's avatar

Yes. Plenty of times. I am so far out of fucks to give it’s not even comical.

flutherother's avatar

People I don’t like I don’t communicate with and saying I dont like them is a form of communication so I don’t do it. I don’t ignore them there is just no meaningful communication.

Escha's avatar

I have and I have said it many times. I have never had a problem saying it. When I was in high school, there was a teacher who treated me like crap; constantly making making fun of me and horribly belittling me. And on day, I had enough of her crap after she was telling me that I needed to be more of a lady and take some time to lose the weight and fix my “horrid curls”.So I told her in the middle of class that I didn’t like her then threw my desk at her and left.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I can’t remember any specific incidents, but I’m sure I said this to my ex-husband.

There have certainly been people I don’t like and would say this if the situation arose where it needed to be said, so far, I haven’t needed to explicitly say ‘I don’t like you’.

rojo's avatar

No, I have thought them a few times but mom always said if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@rojo

I don’t agree with that philosophy at all. I feel like the respectful thing is to let folks knows exactly where they stand with you.

jca's avatar

The exact words “I don’t like you?” No, I don’t think so. I don’t remember specifically but I’m more likely to say something like “please stay away from me,” “please leave me alone,” “get away from me,” or something like that. Another option is I just avoid the person as much as possible.

I think it’s great to be able to say “I don’t like you” but I’m more goal oriented. What’s the goal? If my goal is for the person to stay away from me, I’m going to specify that, rather than just saying “I don’t like you.”

marinelife's avatar

I would not say them in seriousness to someone. Why engage?

I have said I hate you in anger or joking around to my husband. So not true.

Zaku's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever landed on that particular phrase, but it’s possible. I have said worse. “I don’t like you” though seems like an odd combination, where if I felt quite that way, I probably wouldn’t think to talk to them or express it that way, and if I were at that level of communication with someone, I’d probably have something slightly different to say. Mostly when I don’t like someone, I either have very little to do with them, or I have a somewhat more detailed and/or colorful diagnosis. I have said things like:

“X, you’re really starting to piss me off!” (a father being awful to his daughter)
“You’re a disgusting, horrible sleazebag bully scum of the earth!” (phone debt collector)

And of course various insults and judgements in out-of-control Internet flamewars.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@marinelife “I would not say them in seriousness to someone. Why engage?”

Very true. Also, most of us really don’t want to be so cruel or confrontational. It’s much less problematic to stay civil.

In my own situation, described above, the person pursued an answer and then asked for my reasons. I didn’t offer; he went mining. Plus, he and I’d had a professional encounter, not a social or workplace relationship. I guess these are the reasons why that experience was so anomalous.

imrainmaker's avatar

I won’t say that ever to anyone..may be because of my natural tendency to keep the relationship as far as possible. I’m not sure if I would have said this in my childhood also..))

Berserker's avatar

I’m more direct and rude if I don’t like someone that won’t stop pestering me, that way the message is straight across and I don’t have to explain to them why I don’t like them. And why should I? I despise that some people think I should be part of their lives just because I’m in the same environment as them. And I don’t care what is thought of me because of this, whether those thoughts are good or bad.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Yes. And many times I have said to someone, “I don’t believe you.”

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