General Question

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

How do you get over regret?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (10419points) December 30th, 2016

Specifically regret that one hasn’t finished a degree?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

15 Answers

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LostInParadise's avatar

Why are you resigned to never getting a degree? It only takes four years. Didn’t you say you have an IQ of 160? You could start by getting a two year degree. A two year degree could still provide job opportunities if you decide not to go any further.

I hear stories all the time about people older than you who got degrees. Instead of spending your time fantasizing about jobs that you will never have or thinking of excuses for not having accomplished anything, do something!

josie's avatar

In the stated case, there are three choices

1 Refuse to get over it and live with regret

2 Get over it by recognizing it as irrational self pity or perhaps a disguised excuse for laziness

And having done that
3 Finish the degree

ZEPHYRA's avatar

How far have you got? Finish it slowly bit by bit. From what I gather you have concentration issues which can partly be faced with medication. If you don’t want it then just move on, it wasn’t meant to be.

zenvelo's avatar

As described above, you can get past regret for not doing something by doing it.

I quoted a Dear Abby story to you years ago: a man wrote to her and said, “If I go back to school for a masters degree, I’ll be 44 when I am done.” Dear Abby replied, “If you don;t go back for you masters, in two years you will be 44 and without a masters.”

Here you are years later, and you have not gone back to school.

The alternative way to get past regret is to realize everything you have done or not done has been your decision, your choice. Take ownership of your decisions to date.

Pachy's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1, you have received true wisdom from @zenvelo. I tried to say a similar thing in my first comment but couldn’t find the right words (hence the delete). Above are the right words. Heed them.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Regret? You hasn’t finished your degree, it’s not like you didn’t finish your degree. One can only have regret if he/she failed to attain the degree while climbing the academic ladder, not when he/she is still in the process of obtaining the degree through studying.

For me personally, I don’t feel regret nor do I apply such a thing in my life. I always look at the brighter side of my action and never have regret.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

You get over it by doing it.

Edit, Others just said it

Patty_Melt's avatar

@Pachy, I thought your first answer was great; if you regret a failed attempt, delete and move ahead.

flutherother's avatar

Regret is for what might have been. If you make what is even better you will have no regrets.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 Thank you for asking this question. All of us experience regret at one time or other in our lives. It’s common to us all. I have experienced regret. What I do when it comes up is recognize it. I acknowledge that it is a legitimate emotion. I give it its space to exist. I watch it. I feel it. I allow it to be there, and after a bit of time, I thank it. I do that. I talk to it just like I talk to another person. I tell it I’m grateful it is there, and then I tell it that I’ve decided it’s time to move on and feel something else, and then I turn my attention to another matter. I may read a book or watch something or listen to music or take a walk (I love taking walks) or I eat an apple.

Perhaps this will work for you, too. When you feel the regret, allow it its space. Let it be there. Don’t try to chase it away. Observe it, and then talk to it. Say, “Thank you.” Next, tell it, “Goodbye,” and turn your attention to something else.

@RedDeerGuy1 You get to decide how you’re going to handle your emotions. No one gets to give you orders about how you ought to act. You are in charge.

And a Happy New Year to you.

Coloma's avatar

Regret is a waste of time, energy and emotion that can best be applied in the present moment.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. If you really, really, REALLY want something you WILL find a way to make it happen. If not, there’s no shame in doing nothing, but fantasy can never become reality without applying oneself.

If wishes were horses beggars would ride. haha

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
jca's avatar

You can’t change the past. You can only learn from it, move on and adjust accordingly for the future.

a jca quote

In your case, @RedDeerGuy, you can think of how you are going to complete the degree (if you choose to), or deal with not having the degree (how it may or may not affect your job search and career choices, for example, or how it may impact your self confidence).

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