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Rethroz's avatar

What are some alternatives to channelling a high sexual drive or lust into something other than sexual behaviors?

Asked by Rethroz (38points) December 30th, 2016

As the question states, I am seeking alternatives to channel my (high) sexual drive into something other than sexual tendencies or behaviors. I am in a relationship with an incredible woman and I do not (in no way) want to ruin the relationship because of my lust.
I may be able to say with high confidence that an influence on my sexual drive can indeed be her. I know some of you may need clarification and I shall explain :
┬áTo me, she has an amazingly attractive body. She’s gorgeous all around, not only in beauty, but also in mind and personality. I’m attracted more than greatly to her intelligence and that body of hers. I seem to have a hard time controlling myself when her body comes into contact with mine.. regardless, her or her body is not and never will the blame. At the end of the day, I’m the one engaging in the behaviors and I have full control over it.

I know it’s all a little off track, but insight helps. I would like answers in accordance to your personal experience or stories you’ve heard of ways others (or yourself) have been able to control this sexual drive problem. I thank you all for your responses, have a great rest of your day/night.

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4 Answers

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

Exercise, art, creativity any hobby you feel passionate about really.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Exercise, career, hobbies.

Coloma's avatar

As long as your lust is confined to your present girlfriend and not a compulsive drive to be sexual with her or others for stress related reasons I think you are fine.
Wanting the release of an orgasm isn’t any different than eating, drinking, drugging to soothe ones stressors at times. Nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite but if it involves self destructive or relationship destructive or high risk behaviors ( visiting prostitutes, harmful sexual practices etc. ) it is more about stress and anxiety than true, healthy, sexuality.
Your girl friend sounds lovely and as long as your lust is directed towards her and not in the other ways I mention I think you are just in the major, honeymoon phase of the relationship where sex is on your mind a lot when you are around her.

If you are a young guy all the more “normal” I think.
After some time goes by your drive may cool off some, but in the meanwhile there are always cold showers and going for a run. lol
As long as your girl friend isn’t complaining I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m an old broad now, I know about these things. haha

MrGrimm888's avatar

I used to masterbate sometimes ,rather than wake my sleeping ex. We had a LOT of sex. When I grew to love her the desire was even stronger. I told her I would never apologize for being attracted to the woman I love. I couldn’t be around her without thinking about having sex with her. For the first two years the feeling was mutual. When we’d meet after not seeing each other for a few days,we’d have to have sex a few times so we could talk and hang out.

After a few years, she began taking an antidepressant that not only made her apathetic, but killed her sex drive. Then it was always me trying to initiate the act. She eventually grew tired of it,and I grew tired of it too. I only denied her sex like twice and she took it offensively each time. I hated being denied. It made me feel less attractive, unloved, and even made me wonder if she was cheating on me…

We had several issues that led to our eventual break up. The sex thing was a big deal to me. I felt like it was only natural for me to want to be with her. I gave her massages, and made sure that she “finished ” each time. I tried to make sure she new I wanted her to feel good too,because I cared for her.

In the end I tried to do an exit interview. Just asking what I could have done differently. Her answer was “you were always good to me. ”

She seemed to go crazy. Last I heard she was planning to move far away and try to be religious. Those antidepressants seemed to change her personality totally.

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