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cpr's avatar

How can I fix my tendency of habitually visualizing what I don't want to happen.

Asked by cpr (9points) January 26th, 2017

Hi, I tend to visualize what I don’t want to happen because it seems like whatever I visualize never happens, therefore avoiding the unwanted situation. Recently I recognized that this attitude of mine would be problematic if it becomes a permanent habit. It seemed like it prevents myself from new challenges and experiences. This kind of thinking habit also makes me difficult since it seems to lower my self-esteem and it makes me think everything that happens is out of my control and it happens by chance. So I cannot even acknowledge my effort and hard work when good things or things that I wanted happens to me. It’s killing me since it makes me unable to trust myself and leading to lack of confidence. I thought this was some sort of self defense mechanism that can reduce the psychological impact from occurrence of unwanted situation. I thought maybe I do this because I don’t want myself to be shattered by harsh reality that wouldn’t match my expectations of how it would turn out. Anyway, I am trying to overcome this problem but I don’t know how to get rid of such habit. Can I get some professional advices on my situation? Thank you for reading this and I would really appreciate some help.

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1 Answer

MrGrimm888's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

I’m not a “professional,” but I’ll offer my opinion.

I’m an eternal pessimist. I always expect the worst, most frustrating outcome from every endeavor. Many call it negative. I call it realistic.

The good news is that this style of thinking prepares me for the worst. I try and think three steps ahead in life. I envision what can go wrong, and if it happens, I’m better suited to deal with it.
My pessimism keeps me well prepared for when life comes at me.

This thinking must be balanced though. I laugh a lot. I’m easily amused, and entertained. I try and be really serious when the situation calls for it, but I try to be jovial otherwise.

I’m afraid I can’t tell you how to not think this way. IMO. Seeing things this way indicates that you are intelligent. (Ignorance is bliss, awareness is the opposite. ) So ,at least you aren’t stupid…

I find that people need a way to get away from the negative things in life. For me it’s playing guitar, or fishing in my canoe. For others it’s surfing,or painting,or golf….

Having something that you can kind of get lost in is important. It eases your stress level by taking your attention. It makes the rest of your life seem less stressful. If you’re less stressed, you’re less likely to only see negative. And more able to understand what makes you happy, so that you can pursue such things…

If you are financially able, you could seek advice from a therapist. They’ve never been my style, but they can be quite effective for others.

Either way, good luck.

Peace n love.

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