General Question

ragingloli's avatar

What would be some of the societal effects, if one of the methods of getting children was delivery by stork?

Asked by ragingloli (47296points) February 17th, 2017

Similar to in vitro fertilisation and designer babies, would it create a two class society in which stork babies would be advantaged by being truly wanted and deliberately fashioned with desired traits?

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15 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

I think this idea is stork-raving mad.

One thing to worry about would be mis-delivered babies. Dropping it off at the wrong house.

And what the stork do if the baby peed or pooped while in transit? Would it land to clean up the baby?

Only a birdbrain would think about babies being delivered by stork.

stanleybmanly's avatar

There would be a huge market uptick in rifles and shotguns.

Coloma's avatar

It would be of great benefit to preventing “accidental” pregnancy, preserving womens figures and alleviating the agony of childbirth, as well as saving the cost of giving birth in a hospital. Bonus, for animal lovers, you could just keep the stork as a pet. I bet a stork would get along just fine with my pet goose. haha

cinnamonk's avatar

Women would achieve true equality because they would no longer be considered mere hosts for human parasites babies

Sneki95's avatar

I dunno…

Storks are animals, they’re unpredictable. What if they get wild and hurt a screaming baby, or drop it, or misdeliver it, as said above? Imagine a bunch of storks flying around with screaming babies! It would be very environment-unfriendly, y’know. What if they hit into something, a plane for example (this is where I subtly tell you that I don’t know how high do storks fly, but still, just in case they fly that high).

And think of the babies too. A newborn is extremely weak and sensitive to everything. Newborns shouldn’t be allowed to be taken out and brought into much contact with anyone except parents for at least few weeks after birth. Is it safe to carry a newborn high up in the air, by a wild animal? If they are to be delivered at older age, who’s gonna take care of them until they are old enough to be delivered?

I’d hire a truck or deliver by mail. Seems safer and more hygienic.

It would probably change the concept of parenthood and pregnancy, though.

GQ, by the way, it made me laugh.

flutherother's avatar

Delivery by stork is very inefficient as storks can’t maintain a grip on the baby’s sheet to carry it and they find it almost impossible to take off when they do. It is also a thankless task trying to teach a stork to deliver to a particular home or a particular ward of a hospital. A much better option nowadays is to arrange for delivery by Amazon drone.

Sneki95's avatar

@flutherother Yeah, their necks and beaks aren’t strong enough to carry several kilos of a child.

CWOTUS's avatar

If you think all of that is bad, just think of the confusion if storks had to deliver babies to their fathers. Some of them would become dizzy in the attempt (the storks, that is) because of the confusion over who the daddy really is. That’s aside from the problem of all of the various daddy-possibles trying to get out of town while avoiding baby-mamas as well as flocks of large birds carrying babies.

On the other hand, abortion would be a lot easier with a shotgun…

Sneki95's avatar

@CWOTUS But if you can order babies, why bothering with who’s the parent? It would be like adopting, now wouldn’t it? All the stork’d need is the address and the family lastname, right? Even easier if the babies are supposed to be designed.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

It would be easier for them to duck the obligation, a well placed shot with double odd buck and the delivery won’t happen.

Coloma's avatar

Well…we can always revert to the cabbage patch. haha

kritiper's avatar

If the family was needy, the stork would make a nice Sunday dinner.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^^^ “them”?
You do not know who “they” are? The ones who would have done the stork’s job if it were not to do it, in the gist of this question.

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