How can I stop getting upset over little things?

Learn the art of noshitsu. It’s the ancient Chinese art of not giving a crap.
Just breathe, count to ten, and repeat the mantra “I have better stuff to do than waste nerves on this” until you convince yourself it’s true.

Many years ago when I was in university, I used to get really stressed/agitated about the smallest things. My faculty advisor suggested I go to student counselling services, and I did.

The counsellor told me to ask myself a few questions about things that were riling me up.

1. is it doing me any good to get upset about this?
2. is it doing anyone else any good if I get upset about this?

invariably the answer to both was no and no

the counsellor said there was a final question.

3. then why am I doing this?

the answer – usually – was no good reason.

It took me a few weeks of running this set of questions whenever I was getting wound up. Eventually I’d ask myself the first question – and answer with – no good reason.

__

About 10 years later I had another run of winding myself up over minor things. I had a buddy who was doing the same thing. I taught her my routine. We got good at passing each other ”“do good reason’’’ notes. It helped/helps me to get down to the basics.

Might I suggest meditation to help set your priorities?

@rojo sure

As I have mentioned, I recommend an outlet. Get your energy out. Buy a heavy bag (for boxing,or MMA, and just beat the crap out of it. Think of everything that is pissing you off while you pound away at it. When you’re out of energy, you’ll probably feel a little better…

I was angry a lot at your age, and that helped me a lot.

Any sort of physical exertion can help.

@MrGrimm888 I can go to my uncle’s house and beat the shit out of his punching bag. Hopefully I don’t break it.

^Don’t worry about breaking it. Just get some gloves with good wrist support. Let that anger out. Unleash it brother…

I’ve read all of your other questions. You clearly have some issues that you need to sort out and deal with. I will say again, and again, and again if need be, that you need to seek out some mental health counseling.

You mentioned that you have seen a doctor twice. What kind of doctor did you see? What did you tell them? What did they suggest? It doesn’t do any good to go to your doctor unless you are willing to tell them everything that you’ve told us. You need to let them know that you are depressed, anxious, have problems sorting out your problems. You need a good therapist, one that will work with you to help you deal better with your problems.

Maybe beating on a punching bag will help you let go of some of your energy, temporarily, and it will probably tire you out, but in the long run, you need to find ways to deal with your issues, so that you don’t one day decide to use a person as your punching bag.

I would also suggest that you talk to someone at your school, in the counseling department, to help you make some decisions about how your school life is going. You said that you are 18 years old and in college, but if you hadn’t said that, I would have guessed that you were about 15 years old. I don’t mean to insult you, it’s just that you sound somewhat immature. The counselors at your school should be able to help you with that. It also sounds like you’re having a very difficult time fitting in with the other students. It sounds odd to me that girls at your school would try to trip you. If this is actually happening, then something is very wrong at your school and the authorities need to step in and find out why everyone is acting like grammar school children.

As far as your relationships with women, at this point, it sounds like you are doing things, and acting in ways, that make people want to avoid you. Re-read your other questions to see what I mean, so that I don’t have to list everything here. Again, you should seek some type of mental health counseling, along with getting help with your school counselors to help you to figure out if going to this school is a good fit for you, and how you can learn to deal with your negative emotions in a more positive and appropriate manner.

I wish you the best of luck. Please check in with us and let us know how all of this is progressing.

Do you know why you get mad and sad over little things? Tell us something recent that made you mad, and something that made you sad. With specifics we’d have an easier time trying to understand.