How to control your anger when playing sports?

Welcome to Fluther, @5starskillaz.

Well, aside from how you like to think of yourself as “aggressive and a bit physical but clean”, you’re a dirty player, as you admitted within two sentences after that self-description. And dirty players, as I’ve seen from my own playing days, don’t like to be called on that and try to deflect correct criticism with anger.

I’ve seen “hard play”, and played that way myself. And when I’ve committed a foul, then I’m generally contrite about it, and even though I might try to argue with a referee that the thing should not have been called a foul, or that the other player instigated it, there’s no anger involved. It’s the game; it’s not personal, and it’s all in sport and what the referee saw. And I have never – ever – deliberately “played dirty”, even though I’ve committed any number of unintentional fouls, whether they were called or not.

Furthermore, while no one wants to be hurt while involved in an athletic contest, few “good” players would consider “even worse” to be hurt themselves. Most of the good players that I’ve known would be horrified – and think it one of the worst outcomes of all – if they hurt someone else, rather than be hurt themselves. So your priorities are misplaced on the “worse, for someone else to hurt me”. That’s just backwards.

When you admit to yourself and to us that you “play dirty at times” (for reasons that you attempt to justify and rationalize), but try to see yourself as “physical but clean”, that’s a cognitive dissonance that you have to work out for yourself.

I’m going to have to agree with @CWOTUS . You are clearly a dirty player and are trying to justify that fact.

Since your problem seems to manifest itself mostly when playing soccer, I would suggest that you stop playing soccer. In the meantime, you might want to get some limited therapy to find out why you are so angry and why you think it’s ok to take it out on others, and why you try to justify it to us.

Yoga and or meditation is probably a good idea too, but I think you still need a bit of therapy to find out why you allow yourself to get so angry. You need to get to the root of it, get yourself sorted out. I would not want you to be on my team, nor would I want anyone I know to be on your team, or playing against you while you are like this.

You mentioned that you have anxiety and depression, the therapy will help you with that too.

Play rugby instead. Full contact is encouraged.

Or American Football.

If you really want to do something differently, channel your anger into the athletic side of the game, and not by playing dirty.