Does anyone else feel like they're just barely keeping up with life?

Have you tried meditation?

Short of chucking it all and moving to some remote island you don’t. You just make and take your moments as you can get them and go with flow. The old adapt or die, not too many choices in between unless you opt for total opting out. Maybe re-think your career choices and find something less demanding with less hours so you can find more balance. Can you shift to a 4 day work week, work at home a day or two a week?

God, I have tried so many times to get into meditation. So many people act like it’s the solution to all of life’s problems….I am utterly incapable of meditating. I start to feel within seconds like I’m wasting my precious free time and then I just totally give up.

I don’t feel like a career switch would benefit me, because like I said my job is pretty cozy…I even already have the privilege of working at home 1 day per week, and I still feel like this…I listen to my friends bitch about their jobs and I don’t even know how they do it because I’m losing my mind even in my very lax work environment…which then just makes me feel like I must be a particularly pathetic person. I feel like I’m already pushing my limits of how many corners I can cut at work. I feel like a shitty employee, and then that feeling just adds to my stress.

My dad has a hot tub that he sits in every morning (and most evenings). It’s not “formal meditation” but I think it’s firing the same neurons in the brain. He plans his day, reflects on his life and what he has to do. I think he would have gone mad years ago without it. I’m not saying you should buy a hot tub (though they are really great), but that meditation can come in many forms, like taking a pet for a walk every morning to folding laundry, or mowing the lawn. I met a monk in Japan who said he learned about himself from cleaning toilets at the monetary.

Also, take what I say with a grain of salt. I often have the same feelings as you do, and I’m certainly not a pro at resolving them.

@Mariah it’s the “trying” that screws up meditational effort. The whole premise is to just relax and get to a place of no thought. Think falling asleep to mellow music, or getting a massage or drifting off on a beach blanket in the sun. Don’t even think about making an effort, just deep breathe and let your mind and body bliss out.

Yes. I have tried so very hard to prepare myself for this point in my life (facing retirement) but I just kept getting shoved down and shoved down and shoved down. I’m worried about that now.

Paycheck to paycheck baby… Just my lips above water,and it’s raining…..

#StruggleBus…

I’m in the same boat as you, @Mariah. I don’t feel like I’m ready to lose my sh**, but I feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel, always going around, running, running, running. Busy busy busy. Not enough time to do what needs to get done, and in the little free time there is, trying to get errands done and enjoy some relaxation and leisure/recreation, too.

I think it comes from working full time. I’m out of the house for a 40 hour week (35 hours of work plus one lunch hour daily) plus almost one hour each way commute. So almost 10 hours per day out of the house.

I often wish I didn’t have such a life but I do like the pay and benefits, so I don’t see it as having much choice.

I would also like to add my voice to @gorillapaws and advocate for meditation.

Forget about trying to be empty. My bipolar disorder makes that literally impossible, yet I meditate every morning. It is the most important thing I do to maintain my recovery from mental illness.

Here’s what I do.

I sit on a stool that allows me to make my hips even with my knees. My feet are flat on the floor. I put my hands in my lap palms up, one resting on top of the other. My back is erect, but I am relaxed. When I first began meditating many years ago, I had to consciously relax my body. Start from the feet and work up to the head. Relax everything, but remain erect.

Once I’m relaxed, I imagine a red thread of light connecting me to the Earth’s center and a white thread of light to Heaven. If I haven’t already started, I breathe evenly. (I’ve been meditating for many years, so this is automatic now.) I try to concentrate on my breath.

But.

This is when the thoughts start.

Here’s the important point: I don’t stop them. I don’t even want to stop them. I let them wander.

But.

I remain detached from the thoughts. I just watch them. I don’t engage in their emotions, and they are always trying to get me to feel something. When a thought arises that causes anxiety, I pay very close attention to where that anxiety is happening in my body. It might be in my stomach, chest, throat, or head. Actually, it’s always in my stomach these days. I watch the anxiety. I allow it to have space.

Once it has it’s space, I reach in and shape it into something I can hold like a ball or a cube, and then I remove it. I just gently toss it away, and it goes away. These days, I stay calm after meditation for a number of hours. If I get anxious again, I meditate and release it.

All the while, I’m giving thought to the process of breathing.

That’s it. That’s all it is, and it has given me truly amazing results. I found unshakable self-love this way. I have a very solid core belief of who I am. I know myself extremely well. That knowledge is honestly priceless.

After many years of meditating, I can report that my mind is much quieter than it used to be. I can breathe now and not think for 2 whole breaths. Then the thoughts come, and they are very quiet.

What, me worry?

I am in a great place in my life now but it has certainly taken work. I think the years of working and raising children and being married were very up and down. Now that I have gone through great pain and come out the other side, I feel safe and content – except for things beyond my control that maniacs are doing. I do have anxious times but I feel basically in control. But part of that’s a function of being older.

I am so glad you came out the other side, Pengy. It was so sad for you during that year.

Have always felt like that.

Only for the past 30-years or so. :^)

I also feel like I have no legitimate right to feel that way (comparatively, I’m fine) — but there it is. Irrational fear, panic, and exhaustion.

I only don’t feel it when I’m sleeping or near the ocean.

I think I need to become a beach comber.

I have found that a good warm fire and a cold beer can fix most of lifes problems if just for a few hours. I rarely get it but some alone time fishing, mountain biking or backpacking is soothing to my soul as well. Outside of that, yeah you’re describing my life quite well. Life really is like surfing or downhill mountain biking, it may not always be pretty but you just have to go with it sometimes.

I feel like I’m just finally catching up. Took a couple thousand years but I’m finally making a profit.

Yes. That’s where I was last winter.

“If one bad thing happens it’ll just push me over some edge.”

That “bad thing”, for me, was my dog dying. I had the strong support from family, friends, and my boyfriend – but I still fell off some kind of (l)edge.

I’m doing much better now, and apart from a good support network, Shawn Achors book Before Happiness helped tremendously. Maybe you’ll be smart enough to read it before you feel completely overwhelmed.

Hugs.

@longgone Besides, you’ll be meeting a famous Penguin soon.

Ohhh! I wanna come!

I feel that way when I have to make a lot of decisions, and when I need to do things I’m very uncomfortable doing.

I’ve been thinking about it recently actually. Working hard didn’t feel as overwhelming as doing things that scare me or that I don’t feel competent doing. Examples are reading and signing contracts, dealing with laws in general, and making medical decisions. I’m not qualified, but for a while there these things were constant and unrelenting.

The way I get through it is compartmentalize. Moments of bliss when I’m enjoying what I’m doing, and completely blocking out the stressors. I’m not great at handling it all, but that’s what I do.

I’ve also started to not care if everything falls apart. I was letting fear really grip me, and now I’m more like fuck it, if the worst happens I still will probably survive. Hopefully, the worst, whatever it is, won’t happen. My boss put it this way a few weeks ago, “I’m just going to hold my nose.” Exactly, hold my nose, jump in the water, and hope I don’t drown.

Another thing is I’ve wanted my husband to be more helpful with some of this burden I feel, and so I also began to think if he isn’t worried I’m not going to worry so much. It’s sort of tricky though, because I think he is wrong not to worry sometimes, and ignorant about some things. Like ignorance is bliss, you know? So, do I stress myself out and fight with him, because I can see the possible dangers ahead? Or, just go along and deal with the danger when it comes?

Yeah, I know that feeling. What helps me is exercise because I don’t think about my problems. Every day feels like an uphill battle and I still struggle with these negative thoughts, but working out keeps these thoughts at bay. It’s fine if meditation doesn’t work for you and not everyone is going to enjoy working out. You gotta find something that works for you, something enjoyable that’ll take your mind off these things and find a supportive community with like-minded people.

I feel like I don’t have the “right” to feel this way because I have a cushy job and no monetary problems, and other privileges that many people aren’t as fortunate to have.

I always hate it when people say things like “you shouldn’t feel like that, there are people who have less than you,” but it’s not a competition. This shit is relative and your problems aren’t mine/vice versa.

@janbb I can’t wait!

I do feel this way, often. Meditation is also a critical part of my mental health care plan, though I admit that it takes practice and sometimes I go through periods where I don’t feel the benefits or it feels like I am wasting my time and then I’ll just put on a guided meditation before bed and sort of doze off to it, but the days when it really clicks… it is transformative. For me. It’s really about practicing stillness and practicing getting away from the worries and constant chatter in my head and I need that.

I always feel like my life is falling apart and like I can’t keep up. Even though there are so many good things and privileges that I am blessed with, and I regularly reflect on that, I still find myself begging for a break. It feels like stress just piles and piles no matter how many healthy habits or coping mechanisms that I employ, but the reality is, that a lot of people feel the same way. We just hide it. I’m always shocked when people say things to me like “you are always pulled together” or “I admire how positive you are even when things are bad” or “I wish I could have my life together like you,” I’m blown away. It’s so far from the truth (and I’m not even good at hiding it, imho, so that’s saying something.)

…a narcoleptic beach comber.

I…think (?)... I kind of understand what you’re saying. I relate to the second paragraph way more, though.

I’ve felt that way often. Not so much since I’ve retired, but I know that’s a pretty long time away for you.

For me the answer has always been music. If this interests you, go down to your local pawnshop and buy an instrument of your choice. Or if not music, find something that could be an immersive distraction for 15–30 minutes a day. Painting; sketching; writing; creative projects that take the immersion to make you forget about all of your stress for a littlet while.

Too often lately. I had a meltdown this afternoon. In the past week our mower and washing machine took a shit. My muffler also came loose the same week while I was on my way to get a biopsy. I drove to my appointment with the muffler dragging, then crawled under the vehicle when my appointment was done to make a temporary fix.

This morning my daughter had another panic attack about going to school, but she had to go so she went in tears. She’s missed 24 days this year, mostly due to stress because she’s depressed and hates her tiny shithole of a school.

Our utilities were due today and we didn’t have the money. Shut off is tomorrow. I begged them to allow me to pay in three days when I would have the money. They wouldn’t allow it. I got in my car and bawled. I went home and paid by check online knowing it would buy me a few days, even though the money isn’t in our account. All of our money next paycheck is going towards utilities and other bills. Literally all of it. I’m trying to sell our dryer so we have money to eat for the next week.

I’d be ok with all of this if my daughter wasn’t so depressed, but seeing her struggle breaks my heart.

It never fucking ends.

For someone who has gone through intense surgeries since they were 18 and is still under prolonged treatment, you are not wrong to feel that way.

And the “people have less than you so stop complaining” argument is very dismissive. Everyone’s struggle is different, but a struggle is a struggle. Unless someone is a perpetual complainer which doesn’t sound like you one bit, there is no struggle that is worth more than others.

Your guilt is worsening your condition. The guilt tells you to regress your feeling, but you already know, the more you regress something the stronger it will become. So first, stop feeling guilty for feeling bad. Know that your struggle is real and you are not guilty for feeling that way. You need to acknowledge that you have a legitimate problem first.

There are a lot of good suggestions for you above. But before you take any of them, free yourself from the guilt first.

I’m in a pretty great place in life right now but my anxiety just leads to everyday getting more and more difficult to manage. I’ve been having minor mental breakdowns nearly everyday. Sometimes I have good days, but they’ve been pretty rare lately. I can relate so much to the second paragraph.
Honestly I haven’t found anything to help yet, although I do find writing in a journal a good way to end the day. Just putting it all into words can make it seem a little better.