General Question

BlueAjah's avatar

Where is the line of cheating in a relationship in regards to "sexy texting" with "friends"?

Asked by BlueAjah (77points) May 17th, 2017 from iPhone

My boyfriend revealed to me a topless photo his friend had sent him, to which he replied, yeah can I have another. I consider this cheating. Yes he revealed it to me, but he also lied to me for a month straight, and I had though our relationship better than ever during that time. Is this a minor transgression? He had always said he was so appalled by his friends overt sexual behavior. Soon as he got the chance, he played right in. Where is the line with cheating concerning the internet, texting, dating apps. Wld luv to hear some thoughts.

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17 Answers

SavoirFaire's avatar

Cheating is a violation of the mutually agreed to terms of a relationship. In other words, it is what the people in a relationship decide it is. Unfortunately, a lot of people never sit down and hash out the parameters of their relationship, preferring to just assume that everyone is on the same page. So while you might think this is cheating, he might not. But if you’ve never told him that you consider this out of bounds, and if he has never agreed that this is out of bounds, then the two of you are in a gray area right now and have to work out what the terms of your relationship will be from here on out.

zenvelo's avatar

It isn’t cheating for him; it is for you. The boundary for each relationship is different.

This is the time for a sit down conversation on what the boundaries of your relationship are. This could lead to a nice compromise and a line for each of you. It could also lead to your break up, if this is a deal breaker for you.

And, a good way to start the discussion is, “would he be okay with you sending or receiveing revealing pic“s?

BlueAjah's avatar

Very logistical. Ty

Kardamom's avatar

This would be an immediate deal breaker for me, whether or not we’d hashed it out before.

It would never have occurred to me, a month in, to have told him not to accept topless pictures from “friends,” But at the moment it happened, I’d be done. But that’s just me.

si3tech's avatar

@BlueAjah He is unfaithful. Now deal with it. I can only imagine your hurt and anger at being betrayed. Do whatever it takes to get on with your life. He does not deserve you. God Bless.

kritiper's avatar

Any kind of sex amongst friends is crossing the line. No one should be having sex with friends because it blurs the line differentiating between the two. (“Just friend” vs. intimate boy/girl friend.)

jca's avatar

I don’t consider it “cheating” but it wouldn’t be ok with me and the part about lying for a month wouldn’t be ok for me, either.

gorillapaws's avatar

Yeah that’s not ok. How would he feel if you were encouraging your guy friends to send you dick pics?

Go find a guy who respects you enough not to act like a scumbag. You’re worth more than that. There are millions of decent single men out there who know how to treat a woman. Best wishes.

ragingloli's avatar


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