If you aren't planning to have a child, and you are not in a financial position to support a child, and you don't support abortion, why would you have unprotected sex?

Almost 50% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned.

There are a lot of reasons not to use birth control. I don’t know that any will change your mind, but perhaps you should research the subject a bit before attributing it to lust, self control, and not having a plan.

Historically, the main reasons have been “because you don’t have access to birth control” and/or “because no one ever took the time to properly educate you about sex.”

@Kardamom You would not.

@funkdaddy
”...but perhaps you should research the subject a bit before attributing….”
Isnt asking the question here, for example, part of research? It sounds like you have done the research, so what does it say?

Oh, for crying out loud, @Kardamom , what a question. Because stuff happens sometimes. Because we all (except you, of course, because you never have unattractive feet) get caught up in the moment and sometimes behave irresponsibly. Were you never young and impulsive?

…or you’re catholic

For the same reason that people climb Mount Everest: “Because it’s there.”

I have a friend in this situation. They don’t use anything. Due to health reasons the only thing she could use is a condom. But she claims “she can’t feel anything” when he uses one. Oh well she is 51 now, small chance of babies happening. Still seems odd to me though.

Some simply believe it would not happen to them.

Because denial is not just a river in Africa.

@canidmajor: What do unattractive feet have to do with anything?

@flo – in a vacuum, I’d agree with you. The question here is in response to Kardamom’s position here and doesn’t seem completely genuine.

But again, fair enough.

If we skip over the religious questions…

The “acceptable” forms of birth control these days are abstinence, hormonal controls for women (“the pill”, shots, implants, etc), or barrier methods, usually for men (condoms).

Any hormone treatment will come with side effects. The goal is to make those as mild as possible, but everyone reacts slightly differently. Common side effects are things like nausea, weight gain, changes to the breasts, mood changes. Less common would be things like swelling in the legs, chest pain, cardiac issues, and severe headaches. Hormonal birth control is also tied to an increase in things like cysts, cervical cancer, breast cancer, and other serious illnesses.

How comfortable does that list make you? How comfortable would you be asking someone else to take those?

Condoms are your other big option and are often offered as a no side-effect alternative. I wholly recommend having condoms and using them, but, they aren’t great for everyone. You’re basically rubbing a well lubed latex bag on some of your (and your partner’s) most sensitive parts. Some people are actually allergic, some just don’t enjoy the sensation. (yes, there are non-latex condoms, they are significantly less effective) Condoms are a wonderful way to keep from getting pregnant and stop the spread of STIs, but it’s not something that improves the experience and for some can really cause issues.

So, options in a relationship tend to be deciding whether to have one member take on a hormonal treatment or the couple make a decision to use condoms without fail. If you always plan exactly when and where you will have completely sober sex, what could go wrong, right?

Because they get caught up in a moment of lust, and think aw what the hell and go for it.
Some think it won’t ever happen to them.
Some claim it deadens the feeling, (like caring for a kid for the next 18 plus years won’t kill the feeling either?)
But @Kardamom no matter how much flack you get from this question I think it is a good question, in todays day and age where we are supposed to be highly educated why, unless you are trying to have a child , why would anyone have unprotected sex?

Because you’re stupid.

That pretty much sums it up^^^^^^^^^.

I’ll go with stupid

A lot of it is about the fact that people are designed to be irrational when it comes to sex. This is particularly true for hormone flooded young people.

Yep, young, impulsive, reckless, don’t think they will get pregnant, heat of the moment passion. All reasons but not excuses. Shit happens but when that shit involves bringing a new life into the world you damn well better be ready to man or woman up and fast. 20 minutes of hot sex = 20+ years of serious responsibility.

Only because you’re stupid enough to do that or may be too much drunk to understand the consequences.

Below are some possible reasons.

Catholic.

Teenager.

Feel you will leave it up to chance.

Not thinking it through.

You want children.

I second stupid YouTube Video NSFW Idiocracy death of natural selection

Shit happens and we don’t always make the best decisions at all times.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Take the high road or the back road.

FUNNY^^^ I like that!
Wish more people would do that, sure would cut down on a lot of unwanted pregnancies.

I think there are many reasons people might have unprotected sex. They got lost in the mood (as much as you think it doesn’t happen, I think it does), they’re too shy to go and buy some condoms (younger people), they believe it [pregnancy] won’t happen to them, they’re responding to peer pressure, they’d had too much to drink (or consumed other drugs). People don’t always behave in a logical, sensible way.

“People don’t always behave in a logical, sensible way.”
Totally!! Hence the millions of unwanted pregnancies, every year, and the electing of a orange haired idiot to one of the worlds most powerful nations.

Can anyone say they always behave in a sensible, logical way? I know I don’t. I’m not going to judge others when I’m not perfect myself.

We tend to be forgiving in this area , oh well they were just caught up in the moment type thing.
Can we say the same for lets say drunk driving, oh well they were drunk and didn’t mean to kill that boy on the bike.
I don’t always act sensible and am far from perfect but since a very young age always worried about the consequences of my actions.
I do know the mind set of the average young male, and if the female is willing the only thing going through their head is OH boy I am going to get laid!
Guess that is why I didn’t get much action in my teen years, because I was always feared the consequences, like an unwanted pregnancy and having to explain that to ,two sets of parents guess again that is why I was more in love with my dirt bike at that age than girls, but then Mrs Squeeky came along in my mid twenties and changed all that but still used protection because we both didn’t want an unwanted baby.

“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone”.

Some people just do it. Accidents happen. Get over yourselves.
Like you never make mistakes…

@avoice With over 7 billion people more than the world should have, mistakes like that are unforgivable. Acting like it’s no big deal is inexcusable as well.

Great answer @kritiper !^^^

@avoice A “mistake” that results in an unwanted child goes beyond your average mistake. A “mistake” is ” Oh crap, I forgot to buy coffee at the store” not ” Oh crap, I really don’t want this baby so I’ll just drown it in a toilet.”

@kritiper Yes and then we have the daily barrage of horrible stories of parents locking their kids in cages and closets and rats gnawing on the skull of a newborn infant while the drugged out, low life, POS “parents” are high. The list of atrocities goes on and on from people who never should have given birth and should have been sterilized at age 10.

Just had two forties and a blunt. Not thinking protection just now, just fireworks.

For some perspective. I went to high school in a super liberal city. A term of sex education when I was 15. For some odd reason I thought you had to be 18 to buy condoms. And that belief persisted well beyond I was 18. Funny thing my sisters son asked me to buy him beer and I offered to get him condoms too. He was all, WTF, I can buy condoms.

So yeah, we don’t have the best sex education.

And there is a certain amount of shame involved. I discovered that Planned Parenthood basically had a bowl of condoms on the counter. So when I was 17 I lived a few blocks from PP. So I would just hang out outside and look in the window until the receptionist would leave their desk and I would run in and grab a few handful of condoms and I would run off.

Only later would I learn that they were really happy I was getting condoms.

We put a condom on a cucumber in health class. I really wished they used a carrot instead. The cucumber led to some insecurities.

So I was so wrong about how to get condoms… Imagine the places where abstinence is what sex ed is.

^ exactly @johnpowell. Perhaps a zucchini would have been a better option?

Asparagus could work too.

Or maybe a pencil?

Irresponsibility. What is surprising about that?

Good judgment and intelligence aren’t prerequisites of being a parent.

I think this is a great question.

Because I trust the man when he said he’ll pull out before he reach his climax Just kidding!

That is the problem in many over-populated thrid-world countries, as well as religious and traditional societies. Because baby production is so inherently programmed in parents that their children will be conditioned to adopt such mindset. The difference with Western society is that most Asian parents and grandparents will offer support, and oftentimes, takes the responsibility to look after their child’s child (Oh how overjoyed they’re when they know their bloodlines will still continue).

@Unofficial_Member made a very fine point in the other thread about the man’s offer of support and assistance to the woman whom he has impregnated. That is, if she is a single mother already and not already fairly well off, then she knows the financial constraints that she lives under daily, and that’s clearly why she is unwilling and unable (in her own mind, anyway) to raise another child by herself. And the reassurance that “I’ll be there for you” from a man whom she does not know well – and has no commitment from, in terms of marriage, long-term relationship or finance – is not worth very much, since she does not know him well – “intimately” doesn’t mean “well” in this case – and she would have to be very stupid to rely upon an oral promise with no witnesses and no written backup or formal commitment of any kind.

If the man, however earnest in his own beliefs and certain of his resolve, cannot convince her through some form of real commitment: an insurance policy naming her or her child as beneficiary, for example, or a trust fund in the child’s name, or other solid financial evidence (or a serious marriage proposal when he seems to be convinced that she’s the woman he wants to spend his life with – which includes other financial considerations and commitments, of course), then if she’s smart she realizes that he can always take a powder when things get hairy – and things always get hairy, sooner or later, when raising children – and she’ll be left to her own devices. Furthermore, even if he does convince her of his good intent and resolve, if he doesn’t then take concrete steps to at least provide her with an insurance policy, there’s no assurance that he will be able to follow up on his good intent. None of us can take tomorrow for granted.

But back to the OP’s question, at least as it pertains to this particular couple that’s being discussed (because it is about them, after all, and let’s not pretend that this is a generalized question), there was nothing in the other thread’s original question about “lack of financial readiness”. In fact, the other question is about two presumably well-employed adults of some means. These are not romping teens.

A person exercising good judgment would not have unprotected sex if they’re not willing to accept any possible outcome. Unfortunately, people never think that it will happen to them because it only happens to “other people”.

This is a coping mechanism people have because the world can be and unpredictable and scary place. I believe your question is in response to the guy who posted about talking his new flame out of aborting a potential pregnancy? That guy may be in for a rude awakening.

@Earthbound_Misfit “Can anyone say they always behave in a sensible, logical way? I know I don’t. I’m not going to judge others when I’m not perfect myself.”

I’ll judge someone else by the standard I set for myself. Have I gotten caught up in the moment before? Yes. Was it stupid of me when I did? Absolutely. Luckily I’ve escaped with no consequences, but it was still stupid on my part.

And you know what? It’s ok to acknowledge stupid. We all do stupid shit. Even if we’re brilliant, and completely logical and act without screwing up 90% of the time, we’re still going to be stupid 10% of the time. Every single one of us. It’s ok to accept and acknowledge this, but avoiding the fact because we don’t want to seem judgey does no one any favors.

Because fraility & shit…

So we are in agreement that people are stupid and if they do stupid shit they should face the consequences. So lets talk about FEMA and living in Florida. I suppose that could be expanded to the Carolinas, and pretty much the entire Gulf Coast.

You know there is a risk and yet you don’t buy insurance for flooding. And we have to clean up your mess. You are being irresponsible.

^ (What’s FEMA @johnpowell)?

Also, why would the question mark that is inside the bracket, appear outside the bracket when I post this?

@Earthbound_Misfit: FEMA is Federal Emergency Management. They deal with things like hurricanes and other disasters, and they help with the cleanup and give out funds for rebuilding roads, etc.

@Darth_Algar, we can acknowledge “that wasn’t smart” without demeaning people or putting them down. Two of my kids weren’t planned, I just happen to have been married at the time and I was in a position to care for my children. Who the hell am I to start sneering at someone else for having unprotected sex?

Thank you @jca.

Because you think bad things only happen to other people.
So many people I know took risks and never got pregnant and I also know many that use birth control and got pregnant by accident . Birth control does not guarantee anything.

When I dated my husband we only used the pull out method . However I know people that used birth control and got pregnant by accident. People still have sex cuz they think it is just a natural part of life and they get caught up in the moment. It happens to the best of us.

If you have a mortgage and you live in a flood zone you have to have flood insurance (which pays into FEMA). It’s the people who don’t live in flood zones, but do get flooded, who aren’t paying in. The only time I have filed a claim for a flood was when I lived in TN, which was well above sea level, and nowhere near a body of water.

@Earthbound_Misfit

Grabbing a cooking sheet from the oven without a mitt is “not smart”. Having unprotected sex while you’re not planning for a child, not in a financial situation to take care of one, and not willing to have an abortion is stupid.

“Two of my kids weren’t planned, I just happen to have been married at the time and I was in a position to care for my children.”

Hmm, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there seems to be some key difference between this and the scenario described in the original post. I wonder what it could be…

@Darth_Algar, I don’t think at the forefront of my mind while we were getting into it was ‘can I afford any future child?’. I was horny and not thinking about much else.

And the action is stupid. No need to call the person stupid. Perhaps like you and I, they are just having a moment of stupidly. Or perhaps their brain development precludes them from engaging in thoughtful, sensible, evaluative action. Young people lack the ability to assess risk effectively.

@Earthbound_Misfit

Nevertheless you were in a place in your life where you were ready, willing and able to raise a child. It might not have been on your mind, but it wasn’t something you had to worry about.

Stupid is as stupid does.

@funkdaddy I’m reading your answer.