Parents: Do you try to encourage your children to be more social?

My mom told me when she was little, she was painfully shy. She wished she knew to speak up for herself more. She raised me to not be shy. Not that I’m aggressive, but I’m not shy. Times in my life when I was younger, where I’ve felt I should have advocated for myself more, I pondered over and tended to beat myself up and now I can speak up for myself quite well.

I had a few friends when I was younger – not a social butterfly but not withdrawn, either.

My daughter just turned 10. She’s quite shy. She prefers to not always go to birthday parties and doesn’t have a lot of play dates.

Should I encourage her to be more social by pushing her to go to birthday parties and play dates and stuff like that? She has a few friends. Teachers tell me other kids go over to her and then she’ll play, after being approached by the other kid. She has not yet played team sports. She prefers things like crafts. When it comes to birthday parties, she may or may not always want to attend.

If you don’t feel this is a good idea, please don’t be hostile with your responses. I’m just pondering and asking.