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imrainmaker's avatar

Happy Father's Day to All!

Asked by imrainmaker (8365points) June 18th, 2017

Wish you All Very Happy Father’s Day!!! Can you share experience about how being a father transformed your life or bonding with your dad?

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8 Answers

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I was the middle child of seven kids. My father was a good provider, but quite distant. He delegated the raising of his children to my mother.

He’d come home from his job in the aerospace industry, have dinner at the head of the table. Ask each of us about school, instruct the older ones on somethng, then go to his recliner, kick off his shoes, watch the news, then go to bed. I never knew what the guy did for a living when my teachers asked at school. I’d just say businessman, like just about everybody else.

Every Spring, he would have a twinge of fatherhood, enroll us all in Little League, and spend time playing catch with us, giving us instruction on baseball. I think that’s what got me into sports. I knew my father was really into sports, so I probably figured I’d get more attention from him if I tried out for them. But he was a pretty busy guy.

When I was twenty, he retired and went into the bar business, of all things. He would lease a closed down 7–11 store and turn it into a beer and wine place that served some very special sandwiches. There were a lot of those available in the early and mid ‘70s due to the recession and resultant corporate downsizing. He would quickly build the clientelle, then sell it off to a ma and pa team looking for a retirement business in Florida. Then he would lease another and do it all over again.

During this time, I was at loose ends as to what I wanted to do. He said he could use my help if I was willing to work my ass off for little money in the beginning. I jumped at it. It was a chance to finally get close to the old man. What a freaky complicated guy he was. I never knew. LOL. I spent the first year opening these damn places up at 9am, working through to 2am closing, then cleaning them up—and on the nights that I was too tired to drive to sleep on his couch in his condo, I just fell asleep in a booth. I would awaken at 8am, wash up in the men’s room, and start all over again.

But I got to know him well. He really was an amazing dude. Totally focussed on whatever he was doing at the time. And I learned a lot about business and life from him in those short years. I learned to love this incredibly complicated, faulty individual. And then he died. He didn’t take care of himself. I learned from that, too.

Working for him was perhaps the best decision I ever made in my entire life.

PullMyFinger's avatar

A very nice little ‘dad’ story right there, and thanks for sharing it.

As you know, two of the most important things in life are how you raise your children, and how you are remembered after you are gone.

It sounds like your dad got it right. Mine did not, but what the hell…..sometimes in life, you get what you get, through no fault of your own.

Anyway, yes….HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all of you hard-working, bill-paying, game-watching, story-reading, catch-playing dads out there…

seawulf575's avatar

I had a daughter with my ex-wife. She (the daughter) was all I could ask for…smart, happy, and healthy. Things with the ex were not so great. But then she got pregnant again. Twins. That was an interesting twist in life. But again, they were smart, happy, and healthy. Then the marriage fell apart and I got custody. I was suddenly a single dad of three children under the age of 6. I spent the next 20 years teaching them how to be good people. They taught me how to have patience and how to laugh at the little things. I think I knew I had succeeded when my ex-mother-in-law called me up one day after the kids had gone out there for a visit. The twins were 17 I think. My m-i-l told me that they were growing to be excellent young men and that was all my doing…had nothing to do with her daughter. I have screwed up a variety of things in my life, but I think I did okay with being a father.

PullMyFinger's avatar

@seawulf575 It sounds like you did a whole lot better than just ‘okay’, my friend. You gave everyone who ever meets or knows your children a gift.

Somehow, my wife and I managed to do this too.

Happy Father’s Day

seawulf575's avatar

@PullMyFinger Thank you for the kind words. But really, isn’t that our jobs as parents? To raise our children to be the gifts they were to us?

PullMyFinger's avatar

@seawulf575 Well, yeah, to you and me it’s slam-dunk obvious, but unfortunately not the case among millions of parents.

Seeing so many of these careless, reckless, tail-gating, hot-rodding, bird-flipping, throw-shit-out-the-car-windows ‘millennials’ tells us as much about their parents as it does about them.

And just when I’m convinced that all is lost, some young person behaves in a polite and respectful way, and I think…..“Somebody raised that kid right….”

You are very proud of your children, and rightfully so. And don’t get me started on the behavioral qualities of our adult daughter and son, because you’ll be reading my response until noon tomorrow….

seawulf575's avatar

@Pullmyfinger I understand about the problems of adult children. Mine ended up okay. My current wife had 3 and 2 of them turned out great. One managed to take many wrong turns in life and ended up in a hole. But we have been working with her and she is turning her life around in a big way. There is always hope, though sometimes it takes tough love to bring it out.

PullMyFinger's avatar

@seawulf575 As we all know, some people require more patience, love and guidance than others, and your stepdaughter sounds like one of them. You already know this, so don’t need to hear it from me, but I’ll say it anyway…..

Stay strong. Sometimes, life is a pretty bumpy road, but you’re all making great progress.

You and your wife are true heroes….

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