Social Question

SQUEEKY2's avatar

How do you politely decline a gift from a close friend?

Asked by SQUEEKY2 (19158points) June 29th, 2017

That you absolutely do not want or need?
The gift is an iPhone4, he upgraded to a new one and wants to give me his old one.
I don’t want a smart phone of any kind, have no need or want for one, but I don’t want to offend him either, so what should I do?

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125 Answers

SQUEEKY2's avatar

He keeps saying I need to brace technology and come into the world of smart phones.
Why, I have no need or want to go on line with it.
I hate, hate texting.
I don’t Facebook, twitter, snap chat , or anything else.
I use a phone to store phone numbers and talk to people that’s it with a very rare occasional photo taken.
So why do I need a damn smart phone?
But again I have known him for over thirty plus years he is one of my dearest friends and don’t want to offend him, but I still don’t want a damn smart phone.

canidmajor's avatar

Well, you could research some situations in your area that take used smartphones (your library will know) then suggest to him that he donate it. Tell him what you told us. If you have known this person for so long, hopefully he will respect your feelings, and not be offended.
There is tech I don’t want that friends try to push on me with the same argument, and I say that I am just too codger-y for that, and if I change my mind in ten years, then I’ll regret not learning about it sooner, haha.

You may have to do a bit of arguing before he gets it, but stand firm, with a smile, and offer alternatives.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @canidmajor that is not a bad idea, he has been pushing smartphones on me ever since he got hooked, and could never understand why I didn’t have one.

josie's avatar

Indulge him and at least try it out. Maybe you will like it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

And for sake of argument @josie what might I like about it, the fact that I have to charge it every day?
My flip I charge once a week.
The fact it won’t fit nicely into my shirt pocket like my flip will.
I have no need or want to do anything on line with it.
And as a said I HATE TEXTING so why would I want or need a smart phone??

Zaku's avatar

I generally would thank them but explain to my close friend why I didn’t really want it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @Zaku I have tried but he still insists that I take it he says I will love it, I have told him all I use a phone for and he keeps saying but you haven’t tried a smart phone yet.
He keeps saying even if I don’t go on line on the road I can use it to go on line at home with my home internet, I have two macs, and a tablet for that why would I want it for that?

CWOTUS's avatar

Why not actually just try @josie‘s good advice instead of arguing and making up straw man arguments about why it’s the devil’s device?

Personally, I’m more interested in your technique for maintaining close friendships, given your generally sour attitude.

But even aside from the advice to “try it; you might like it”, because it’s clear that even if it were to save your life you’d be able to complain about it, why not just accept it gracefully … and then stuff it in a glove box to forget, or give it to a child to play games on? Is this seriously the first time in your life that you’ve been offered a gift that you don’t really want?

Pachy's avatar

Perhaps this will make him stop asking. Tell him you’ll be happy to accept the phone so that you can sell it and buy something more important to you.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

That might work, and he would get the idea I really don’t want it, thanks @Pachy .

canidmajor's avatar

@CWOTUS: if he accepts it, the badgering would be ongoing. The friend would want him to use it, to text, to be able to talk about it specifically. It’s not like a sweater you don’t want and can stuff into a closet, wear once or twice around the friend and be done with it.

@Pachy has a good idea, but could you sell a 4? They are very outdated by now.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Exactly Thanks @canidmajor .
If I didn’t need my cell for work I would just have pay as you go only for emergencies .
That’s all Mrs Squeeky uses hers for she puts puts a $100 on it once a year, and usually has about $35 left on it by the time she has to buy another hundred for the next year.

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ll take it off your hands. :)

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I did suggest that Mrs Squeeky take it, you think I am sour against cell phones WOW!

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @jonsblond I just wish he would give it to a friend or relative that would truly want and use it, If I gave it away he would be very offended.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I was offered a iPhone 4 too 10 years ago ,and I just told her that I can’t afford the $50 – $100 a month data fees.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @RedDeerGuy1 but it’s not the fact I can’t afford the data fees, I just have no need or want for such a phone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@CWOTUS and for being sour, I have said why I dislike and have no need for a smart phone of any kind and no one has said anything like but you will like it for this or that type thing.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Have you considered a white lie? Is it worth the effort to find a solution? Time is fleeting. Can you just take the phone and pack it away?

jca's avatar

I remember when I was hired in my present position about six years ago. My boss gave me her old Blackberry. I didn’t want it. I had a flip phone and it was good enough for me. I had no choice but take the Blackberry because it was paid for by the job. I also didn’t want it because I didn’t want to get addicted to it.

I first took a photo or two with it. Then I started looking at Facebook when I was bored. Then next thing was I uploaded the photo to Facebook. It was very easy. Wow this was fun! Then I found if I needed to access the internet, say for example I was going to the movies and wanted to find out the number of the theater, or I wanted to find a store’s hours, it was very convenient to check using the internet. Of course, if I was bored I could also take a look at Fluther. I’ve had a few phones since then, and my present one is Samsung Galaxy 4. It’s due for an upgrade but it’s good enough for me.

At this point, I don’t think I could live without it. It’s very convenient. I’m using the camera all the time, uploading photos all the time, texting every now and then. I’m not one to constantly be swiping the phone and looking at it, but I do like it for its various uses.

Try it, you might like it.

Otherwise, tell him no thank you and maybe he could donate it to a local veteran’s organization or something.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I have thought about trying it, and the draw backs is size, and these things require charging every day, I don’t do anything FB and can’t see myself using it on line for anything, I dislike texting greatly, I will have to try and tell him give it to some one who will use it.
But thanks anyways for the answer @jca .

Zaku's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Hmmm… what you’ve written sounds to me like he’s being peculiarly pushy about it. I might just say one last time “I’ll just use my tablet or a laptop for that, and it’ll just end up in a box.” and if he insists, put it in a box in case it ever occurs to anyone to want to use it. It seems weird to me that he doesn’t get and accept your objection. I even start to wonder if he wants to prank or monitor you with it. Just a thought – clearly I don’t know the person and he’s probably just being weirdly insensitive.

Does he have any other peculiar behaviors?

josie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2

Dude, it was just a thought. Maybe we caught you on a bad day.

Patty_Melt's avatar

For a long time i felt the same way.
I find the camera terribly handy these days. Unlike the old days, snapping pics on a phone is quick, easy, and free. I can do frivolous shots and discard them later without cost. I can snap a pic of a woman I see somewhere, and show it to my hairdresser, “can you do mine like this?” I can snap a pic of a pothole, post it to the city on fb.
If my daughter needs a dress for a special occasion, I can shop while she is at school, snap pics, and let her decide which she wants to try on. It makes the process much easier.
If I had this back when I was married, it would have been a great way to send my husband to the store. Men never get stuff right from a shopping list, but if I could have made the list a set of pictures, he would have had a perfect score every time.
I don’t talk or text much myself, but now that I have the device, I am finding ways it comes in quite handy for me.
It is calculator, clock, calender, stopwatch, camera all in the same one unit. It stores reminders for me, and little videos to keep me entertained when I am stuck waiting somewhere.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Just tell him what you told us. Next question…......

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: What I think a bunch of people are saying above is just open your mind. Just try it out with an open mind and you may just be surprised. It’s like when my daughter doesn’t want to try a certain new food. If she never tries it, she’ll never know. If she tries it, she just might like it. She might not, but she might. Never hurts to try.

Aethelwine's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Never hurts to ask, right? ;)

I think we should stop pressuring Squeek. He doesn’t want a smart phone.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Smartphones aren’t just for texting. I can understand the qualms about their size, I have a handbag, but if I needed to put it in my shirt pocket and the phone is too big for the pocket, that would be annoying.

You use Fluther. Do you ever find yourself on the road and sitting in a cafe passing time? You can access Fluther from your phone.

Have you ever seen something and thought ‘if only I had a camera!’, well you would have a camera on your Smartphone.

Have you ever had someone giving you some information or instructions and you’ve thought, ‘if only I could record this’. Well, you can now, because you you download a recorder for your smartphone.

Do you need to keep receipts? With a Smartphone you can take a photograph of your receipt and you won’t need to have lots of paper in your wallet.

You can use your phone as a GPS. We had a GPS in a hire car in New Zealand and it hadn’t been updated. It sent us miles off-track and we ended up at a dead-end looking at the freeway we were meant to be on that was across a field. We used the GPS on our phone to get back to where we needed to be since the one in the car was useless.

Have you ever been out shopping with Mrs Squeeky and wondered, ‘where is the nearest…?’. Now you can look it up on your phone.

I didn’t think I needed a smartphone, but I use it for so many things.

You can read the news on your phone while waiting at the doctors or for an appointment.
You can answer your emails.
You can meditate while on your break.
You can start a gift list for Christmas and keep track of your spending and shopping.
You can keep a shopping list and Mrs Squeeky can add to it to remind you to pick up the milk and before you go home, you can check to make sure she didn’t need you to pick something up.
You can play Cribbage or other games when you’re bored.
You can keep a To Do list of things you have to finish around the house.
You can have an emergency contact list on your app that lists who to contact in the event of an emergency and what medications or health conditions you have.
You can connect it to a Fitbit to help you to keep fit.
You can download an app and enter all the food you eat to help you monitor what you’re eating and drinking.
Are you going on holiday? Do you remember things you need to pack while you’re travelling? Add it to your packing list.
Do you need a compass?
Are you trying to remember to exercise or read or learn a langauge? There is an app for all of those things.
You can book hotels, find caravan parks, rate films, find info about film, watch Netflix…
Regardless what you love to do, there will be apps to help you do it.

As has been said, why not give it a go and have a play. At least then you can tell your friend, I tried it and hated it. Thanks for the offer, but how about I give it to the local xxxx, and someone who really wants this can use it. But you might find you love it! I know I was surprised how many ways and times I use my phone.

Mimishu1995's avatar

All of us here know about your distaste for smart phones. Why doesn’t a “close friend” know about it?

I can think of two reasons: first, you don’t tell him. Then why do you consider him a “close friend”? It isn’t something so horrible you have to hide from a friend to protect a friendship. And you don’t even have to hide either, given how much you hate smart phones that you avoid every single one of them. Your friend can sense it, if he’s qualified enough for a “close friend”. I don’t think if he’s that close to you he would choose presents that carelessly, which leads to:

Second, he wants you to open your mind, exactly like what everyone here suggests. That was why he gave you a iPhone 4, a rather outdated phone at the moment. He wants you to take baby steps to get yourself used to using a smart phone and change your view about smart phones. I think it’s a good intention.

JLeslie's avatar

I think you should accept the gift and try it! You just need to make sure it works with the company you have your phone service with. You don’t have to pay for data if you don’t want to.

I was reluctant about texting at first, but seriously, I was wrong, and I think you are too. If it’s already included to be able to text you should try it.

Pachy's avatar

@canidmajor, you missed my point. It’s not about how much or how little the phone is worth: it’s how worthless it is to her.
Telling her friend she’d sell it dramatizes that fact.

Zaku's avatar

It seems a bit weird to me that you guys are ALSO trying to talk @SQUEEKY2 into using the stupid iPhone.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

@Zaku, we’re just suggesting he try it. I’d guess that’s what his friend wants too. If he then decides it’s not for him, fine, at least he can argue he’s been there, done that and he didn’t like it.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Zaku Exactly. I hate peer pressure. He will survive if he never uses a smart phone.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t agree. The gang believes Squeek would “come around” once he got the thing. I agree with them. For 5 years I would simply replace my piece of shit LG with a duplicate model simply because I was familiar with it. Hear me Squeek. I was dead wrong. Trust me. It’s actually difficult to explain why we know that you & Mrs. Squeeky will not regret the phone upgrade, but a shot at a free iphone is an opportunity you should not pass up. By the way Squeek, this is the first and only situation I can recall where you & Mrs. Squeeky are disadvantaged by not having children.

JLeslie's avatar

What’s the harm in trying it? You might like texting. You might like the broccoli, even though it looks funny and is green. You might like the blueberries, even though blue barely exists in a food. Just at least try. Don’t be so stubborn. Once you give it a reasonable try, if you still don’t like using it, then don’t use it.

You have a free opportunity to try.

Sometimes, we don’t understand what we are missing until we try. The DVR was another thing that was like that for me. It changes your life if you’re a TV person. I waited years to finally get a DVR. I just didn’t get it until I had one.

jca's avatar

It’s ok to give in, try something and then possibly be able to admit “I was wrong. I should have tried this sooner. I actually like it!”

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

^ Or to say, I’ve tried it and I was right. It’s not for me! Like @stanleybmanly, I was reluctant to get a smartphone. I use mine all the time now. I barely ever text. I text my husband, my daughters and a couple of work colleagues. Let us know what you decide @SQUEEKY2.

Zaku's avatar

You guys are making me want to stop using my smart phone. :-)

Kardamom's avatar

You just have to be like a broken record. Tell him thank you, but I prefer not being able to “do” everything all the time. Tell him you are very content with the phone you have. Rinse and repeat as often as necessary.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks for all the answers,
Let me tell you my flip phone has a camera,
My flip phone has a calculator ,
My flip phone can go on line,
My flip phone has a stop watch,
My flip phone can store songs like an mp3
My flip phone has a calendar .
my flip phone can be used to text.
My flip phone can go a whole week with out needing charging.
I don’t use most of those now,the camera a little, texting very little mainly to coworkers and never more that one or two words.
What is making me reluctant is that it will cost me $50 to activate it, and another $50 to put it back to my flip phone if I don’t like it.
Most weekends I don’t even turn my phone on.
Mrs Squeeky does not text so it’s no use for that.
Oh and there is a note pad on the flip as well that I don’t use either.
The GPS I can’t see myself using that either, and that my flip does not have.
BIG minus- you have to charge a smart phone every day.
Big minus the size the smart phone is to big for my shirt pocket.
So just to try this thing is going to cost me a minimum of $50 if I like it and a hundred if I don’t.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

So maybe I should add this, is risking a hundred dollars worth trying a smart phone?
An outdated smart phone at that.
A co-worker up graded to a smart phone from being pestered by his kids he hates it.( I don’t know what kind he has though)

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Except for this friend, a few nieces, and nephews, a couple of co workers , no one else texts they don’t like it and find it really a waste of time, so I can’t see the text thing being an advantage.
My plan has no data, so going on line with it on the road would be very costly.
And I have two computers and a tablet at home for internet needs there.
The fact you have to charge it every day is a huge disadvantage .
The size of the thing is another huge disadvantage .
And the more pressure I feel the more I dig in and get close minded especially about something like a smart phone.
So thanks but I am going to keep my hundred dollars and tell my friend to give it to someone who will like it and use it.

canidmajor's avatar

I think the main point here is that @SQUEEKY2 didn’t ask if he should try it, or if there were advantages to it, he very specifically asked how he could decline the offer without offending his friend.

@Pachy, point taken, I did miss that. Good point.

canidmajor's avatar

Oh, and @SQUEEKY2, if your friend is that persistent about this, at some point you may have to say, somewhat sharply, “Gee, (friend’s name), please don’t force me to be rude. I have said ‘no thank you’, I really don’t want it.” At some point, well meaning persistence morphs into bullying without the person realizing it.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Do not feel the gift is very expensive. He most likely upgraded, saw that he would only get a few dollars for it and decided to give it to you.
I use a flip phone too and I love needing to charge only once every 5–7 days. But I’ve taken my son’s old phones when he upgrades and I use them offline with my wifi. I use one to:
store maps from google.
identify songs that are playing
generate tones and test frequencies.
control my drone
....

I don’t activate them at all.

JLeslie's avatar

That $50 activation fee is such a rip off. I just dealt with that recently. I think mine was $20, and I was pissed. You can activate it yourself online. You should be able to anyway. On your phone carriers website.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I realized I didn’t answer your question.

I say: “Thanks, but you should give this to someone who will use it. If i take it, it will probably end up in a drawer somewhere. I appreciate the offer though.”

stanleybmanly's avatar

I’m curious about your friend whose kids bullied him into the smart phone. Check with him in a month. I know other codgers like myself who got away with shuffling along on woefully outdated phones. The thing is that they too were pushed and tugged by their kids, grandkids, and folks who genuinely care about them to catch up. 5 years ago, my brother retired from his job as a railroad engineer with the same flip phone the railroad had provided him a decade earlier. His wife nagged the shit out of him about his phone, but it was my niece who just gave him an I phone one Christmas to his considerable annoyance. 2 months later he was busy working on me. You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do Squeek, and I’ve heard that mobile rates in Canada can be damned near crippling. But the folks taking the trouble to urge you toward the free phone genuinely have your interests at heart, and I don’t know a single soul who’s upgraded to a smart phone then reverted to their antique.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@stanleybmanly I thank you for your answer, but as I said in an above answer my flip has a ton of features that I don’t use have no need to use.
While a smart phone has many more features, great just that many more I won’t use, I don’t FB or twitter, snap chat, or any of those, I dislike texting immensely , and the flip does text, I use the cell mostly for work and I simply just talk to people, and store phone numbers.
2 of the biggest draw backs of a smart phone is the charging every day, and the size.
Another thing I have observed is walking through a mall or sitting in a Restaurant is a lot of people with their nose buried or clicking away on their smart phones ignoring the people they are with.I want none of that.
I don’t deal or get enough Emails to even worry a little about them on the road , that can’t wait till I get home.
As for notes and shopping lists the flip has that feature,I don’t use it now, why would I on a smart phone?
North America has the highest cell phone fees in the world, with Canada being right at the top,my plan has no data I have no desire to go on line with my phone on the road, why would that change with a smart phone?
My flip takes photos just fine and I have sent them to friends, and it’s good to snap a photo of a problem and send it to the boss, how does a smart phone make that better?

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: Please post an update as to what happens with your friend and the phone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Mimishu1995 My friend does know how much I dislike smart phones he just thinks I will come around after I try it, which I highly doubt.

Aethelwine's avatar

I reverted to a $10 tracfone to make emergency calls. I use my Samsung s4 with my home wifi to take pictures or peruse the internet while I’m on the toilet. I could just as well read a book or buy a nice camera for my photography. I wouldn’t be lost without a smart phone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I have survived this long without one , think I will make it a few more years to come.
I use my flip a lot for work, but mostly just for talking.

Zaku's avatar

Activation fees are total BS, and also generally not the main cost – the main cost is generally the required “data plan” – unless you just use it for wifi and not even as a phone. But then, you say you have a tablet and laptops already, and the only thing they’re not better than the smartphone at is being small and being a phone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @Zaku I don’t need or want a tiny phone tablet for home use, I already have a tablet for that.
I think unlike most people all I really need a cell phone for is talking to people,and I already said what the flip will do and I don’t use most of it’s features, I can’t see using all the other features the smart phone provides.
Although @LuckyGuy guy stated he flies his drone with one,I have a small drone that intrigues me if I can use it for that but it is only a sixinch drone but does have a camera that can shoot stills and movies..

JLeslie's avatar

If I had to get rid of data I wouldn’t be too freaked out, I could go back to not always having access to the web. But, I really would not want to give up texting. Before my smart phone (I bought mine years after most of my friends had one) I had a slide phone with a keyboard so I could text. I’d go back to at least something like that I think.

It brings me happiness when a fiend sends me a quick message, or my husband texts me helllo.

I also like not having to talk at the moment someone wants to get in touch with me. I can wait to respond, I can do it without disturbing others in the room (texting is quiet) and I can answer in two words or multiple paragraphs.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that since you like participating on fluther, I think that is another reason to assume you would like texting.

jca's avatar

I agree with @JLeslie about texting being easier than phone conversations for the reasons she gave. I have a friend who is mentally ill and very needy, and she sometimes gets on me for not calling. We have different schedules with our free time (she sleeps till around noon, I am up early usually). I have a child – a bunch of reasons I won’t list here. For me, texting is so much easier. She responds when she is free, I respond when I am free, no worry about who is busy or who is tired or who is sleeping.

When I got my first smart phone, the Blackberry I mentioned above, it had little buttons like a keyboard. That’s so antiquated now. Now the phone is flat and it’s way easier to text.

JLeslie's avatar

Having said everything I said, texting isn’t convenient while driving, and the OP is on the road a lot. My new car has a text translator. I don’t know how well it works. Maybe he likes talking while driving? I think it still is nice to get to your stopping point and have a message sitting there that you can respond to, so that still doesn’t really change.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Only a few nieces and nephews text, no one else in our family texts not their mother, not my wife, not either of my parents, not my brother or my sister.
This friend who wants to give me the phone is a text junkie, and a couple of co-workers text,that’s totally it.
I know texting has it’s place, for me it’s a very brief message not a full blown conversation,and if all I am worth to some one is a text conversation then please take me off your call list.
This friend and all of you say texting with a smart phone is easier and it probably is but why would that make any difference?
I DO NOT LIKE TEXTING!!!!!
I read texts that people send,sure but having a message waiting doesn’t thrill me , my cell is O-F-F! while I am on the road, I have no need or want to be in constant touch with anyone and that includes Mrs Squeeky who is the love of my life.
If she has to get in touch with me she leaves a voice mail that I check a couple of times a day.
If this smart phone can be used to fly my mini drone than I am interested in it other than that ,not in the least.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

And by some chance I did take it and became addicted to the darn thing losing one of my hands scares the shit out of me.
Like the rest of the smart phone addicted public, going through life day, to day with only one hand while the other is glued to the damn phone, YIKES! I drive a manual transmission I need both hands.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

But putting me ranting aside , thank you for your answers, I still have no need or desire to have a smart phone free or not, but if it can be used to fly my mini drone I might take it.

@JLeslie I tried quick text I love yous with Mrs Squeeky she won’t even learn how to read a text on her cell phone, we still leave paper love notes for each other.
I do like to talk on the road but to other truckers with our VHF radios not a darn cell phone, you all have pointed out why you just love your smart phones and that’s great ,but can you understand why I don’t.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The thing is Squeek, many of us were members of your club. In fact it’s almost painful to read your arguments. They are every bit as valid as when I was reciting them. But you couldn’t pay me to take up with that old chump phone piece of shit LG again. If there’s nothing we can say to sway you, I simply ask you to consider why it is that none of us codgers have ever dumped our smart phones for the comforting familiarity of our old antiques.

jca's avatar

I’m thinking of a comparison between this and an old car. If you had an old car, @SQUEEKY2, let’s say one 25 years old. No air conditioning, the heat works intermittently, the springs squeak, only has AM radio, it’s a total wreck, and your friend offers you a car that’s five years old. Not the latest car, not the most incredible car, but one that’s in very decent shape, air conditioning works, heat works, maybe has a CD player and AM/FM, new tires, good suspension. If you were to say “I like the old car that’s twenty five years old” and put up all kinds of arguments why you wouldn’t want the five year old car, it almost sounds stubborn to the point of being illogical.

JLeslie's avatar

If you want to be in more communication with your nieces and nephews texting will help. If you’re on Facebook you can message through there instead.

Your wife might text more if she had a smartphone. I’m assuming she doesn’t.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Guys this smart phone is older than my flip phone, I told you my flip has a ton of features I don’t use now, why would I all of a sudden start using the features of a smart phone?

They still make brand new flip phones to this day,mine if you look a few posts up can do a crap load of stuff, stuff I have no need or want for, why would I start using the features of a smart phone?

I have said a lot Mrs Squeeky and I do not do Facebook ,Twitter, or any of those others,so why would a smart phone change that?

I will say again my phone is newer than this I4 he wants to give me, and one more time in case you didn’t read it above I HATE TEXTING!
And that seems to be the biggest argument well it will text so much faster and easier, uh so what!again I dislike texting greatly no phone is going to change that.
I have zero plans of going on line with any phone so why would this phone change that?

JLeslie's avatar

Alright. Don’t use it. Tell your friend thank you for the thought, but you have decided not to use it, and you rather someone else benefit from it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Exactly @JLeslie I have a small interest in it if it can be used to fly my mini drone thats it.

I did offer it to Mrs Squeeky, she hates cell phones more than I do, after she calmed down she told me why would she want the damn thing if she could she wouldn’t have a cell phone now.

I talk to my relatives enough I don’t have to text them, I just stated the nieces and nephews do text.
Not everybody is a cell phone junkie, not everybody has to be in constant touch with everyone, believe me in times when my rig has broke down, I thank God I have a cell phone with me, but you know it’s Saturday evening here and my cell hasn’t been on since Thursday night haven’t missed it a second why would a smart phone change that?
So if my arguments are sounding illogical why maybe I am being cheap and don’t want to spend the $50 to activate it, and another $50 to put it back to the flip if I hate it.
Some people just don’t require a smartphone to get through life,I would like to think I am one of those.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

For sake of an argument @stanleybmanly Why do you like your smart phone better than your old flip?
You say that crap LG antique is junk, why?
Was it hard to talk to people with it?
Was it hard to store phone numbers on it?
Basically the only 2 real things I do with mine and WANT to do with mine.
I am not arguing a smartphone can do a crap load of things great, but if one has zero desire to do any of those things with it, what good is it to them?

SQUEEKY2's avatar

And @jca if you want a closer comparison it’s like buying an 18wheeler to run to the corner store with.
Oh you don’t need an 18wheeler why it can do so much more than your car can, has a lot more uses why wouldn’t you want it?

jca's avatar

OK @SQUEEKY2. Point taken.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thank you, and all this ranting and bickering aside, for those of you that have and use smart phones great hope they fill all your needs.
For some of us that just want a phone to be just a phone,let us have our flip junk if it serves our needs why not, there might come a day when I might want to try a smart phone(although I can’t think of one)I will get one but today and fact any time in the near future aint going to be that day.

Zaku's avatar

BTW, I found it easier to text on my flip phone than i do on my smart phone, because of physical buttons and T9 mode, which took some getting used to, but then was easier than with a touchscreen keyboard.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @Zaku I am going to tell my friend to give it to someone who will like and use it,still interested if it will fly my mini drone but only for that.
Oh and SHhhhh you don’t want the smart phone lovers to hear you say that you might get tarred and feathered and run out of town.
People just don’t understand I DO NOT LIKE TEXTING, as I said I know it has it’s place but I still dislike it.
I have no need or want to stay in constant touch with anyone, Mrs Squeeky and I both work nights she works graveyard shift at the local hospital and I work nights 5pm to 1am and we simply unplug the home phone while we sleep answering machine and all could care less about anyone trying to reach us at those times, my cell has voice mail they can leave a message on that if it’s a real emergency if not call later.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

https://youtu.be/fTOZjXjaCaE

Not having a smartphone will save my life!

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: I understand not wanting a smartphone but you almost seem to have contempt for people who do.

JLeslie's avatar

^^Sounds familiar. The thread sounds very similar to the “I don’t have and don’t want kids” rants. The one huge difference is no one is telling him he should have kids. No one cares if he decided to not have children, even thought he seems unable to comprehend why some people do want to deal with having children.

Almost everyone is telling him he should try texting. They care, because they actually care. They believe he will come to appreciate and enjoy it. Another rant is not wanting certain technology in his motor vehicle, although some of those gadgets many of us agree aren’t necessary, and resent paying for, but some are useful.

Back to texting, practically this entire thread thinks the OP should try texting. That he doesn’t understand the convenience until he gives it a shot. I wonder if it means anything that this time almost all the jelly opinions line up? It doesn’t look like it matters.

canidmajor's avatar

I can appreciate his frustration. He specifically asked how to politely decline this. Yes, he indulged in yet another big ol’ rant, but really, all this “you should try it” doesn’t address the question as asked. So what if everybody says “do this thing because we like it”? All these strangers on the Internet tell him to do something he doesn’t want to do. Maybe he can text on his flip phone, and has chosen to ignore that feature.
Are you, @JLeslie, inconvenienced because @SQUEEKY2 doesn’t text? Geez.

I know I am always willing to jump in and get annoyed with him when he tells us that we are all bad drivers, or stupid for having kids, but those are on threads that specifically deal with our opinions n those subjects..

@SQUEEKY2, next time consider asking this kind of Q in General. People still go waaaay off topic, but you have a better chance of keeping it in check.

JLeslie's avatar

@canidmajor I didn’t say he’s inconvenienced, I said we are trying to communicate the convenience. It’s different.

Jellies only want to help him here. No one has mal intent.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Yes I did go on a bit of a rant on my dislike for smart phones, sorry I told you my flip does most of the things the damn smart phone can, and I don’t use them with the flip, WHY would I use them with the smart phone???
I do a bit of quick note Texting with the flip for quick messages and HATE it, why would a smart phone change that?
I DO NOT go on line with the flip phone have no need or desire but it can, why would a smart phone change that?
FLUTHER is the only social type thing I do on the net and have no need or desire to access it on the road why would a smart phone change that?
I have no need or desire to be in constant touch with anyone and I do mean anyone why would a smart phone change that?
Yes you people have tried to tell my how convenient the smart phone is for TEXTING (which I hate)
For staying in touch with Facebook(which I don’t do now, have no FB account nor want one).
For watching videos on the net while waiting, or reading the news( I have zero desire nor want to do any of that)
The two biggest draw backs to the damn phone for me is the fact it needs charging every damn day, and it’s size which every one of you ignored .

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@jca I do have contempt for people who become extra stupid with their smart phones, like driving and using it.
Walking and using it.
Ignoring the people they are with to check in with the people they are not with.
People who defend it , like I couldn’t live without it type thing(good grief it’s a phone , not food and water)
Now to put the rant aside which you guys pretty much started for those of you that use the damn things responsible good for you hope they fill all your need and desires.
But for the some of us that want a cell phone to be just a cell phone let us have that OK?????

chyna's avatar

My brother still has a flip phone. It’s for his convinience only. He doesn’t want to text, take pics or Facebook. No one cares that he doesn’t text. He will call when he sees someone has called him. Smart phones are not for everyone and no one should force their views on another.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@JLeslie You brought kids up I didn’t.
The tech gadgets in todays vehicles only get me mad because I can’t opt out of them, I have to pay for a gadget I do not want..

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thank you @chyna .
And if you think I hate smart phones you should hear Mrs Squeeky’s views on them.

canidmajor's avatar

@JLeslie oh good grief. You berated him for not wanting to do what so many want to do. You just don’t get my point, again.
I don’t care if he texts or not. I really don’t know why you seem to need the validation of him texting.

But I’ll say it again, just for you,, that was not his Q. At all.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks again @canidmajor one thing for sure all this really has cemented my desire to never own a smart phone.

I will find a way to nicely tell me friend I don’t want it, nor will I use it.

JLeslie's avatar

@canidmajor I’m very aware it’s not his Q topic.

Validation? LMAO.

@SQUEEKY2 I’m very aware you didn’t bring up children on this Q. It was an analogy. Or, more specifically a statement of a pattern. I have my own patterns that can be criticized, most of us do.

Your flip phone, how do you type on it? Does it have a full alpha keyboard? Can you type on the screen? Every flip phone I’ve ever scene doesn’t have either, but I easily might be unaware of what’s available. Maybe we, the collective, are picturing the wrong thing.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

It texts just fine, I simply detest texting, I know it has a place and have accepted that but still dislike it greatly.
Why can’t you accept that?

chyna's avatar

@jleslie. He doesn’t want to text. Why are you still talking about that?

JLeslie's avatar

@chyna He didn’t answer my last question. I’m still talking about it, because if he is typing the letter H by hitting the number 4 twice, and has a small screen on his phone that doesn’t easily see the train of messages, that probably partly explains why he doesn’t “get” why people find texting convenient. I have no idea if I’m picturing his phone incorrectly, because he didn’t answer my question, unless maybe he said it far above and I missed it.

My mother won’t text either, it’s not like he’s the only one in the world. She will not give up her 5 year old flip phone. I’m trying to get my dad to text more. He loves his iPhone, but has been reluctant to use the texting feature.

The OP said now, after this Q, he’s “cemented” that he won’t ever try a smartphone or texting. Really? Jellies cemented that for him? Dig his heels in further? Out of spite? What? What will spiting us do to us? Nothing. He only, possibly, hurts himself. Not that texting is so important that it will “hurt” obviously. The topic just isn’t that serious.

Also, @SQUEEKY2 mentioned charging his phone every night. I don’t charge my phone every night. I don’t need to, and I have my phone on all the time. Although, the older iPhone 4 did have less battery, and now the battery on that particular phone being gifted to him is old, so it’s true it might need to be charged every night. My mom’s flip phone loses battery fast. I have a new (6 months old) slide phone, and that has to be charged much more often than my smartphone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@JLeslie yes I have to hit the number keys to get to the letter I want, BUT type a letter LMAO never, just quick messages like (can you talk now?)Call me, no, yes, not now, just a quick message nothing more.
I DO NOT WANT TO TEXT, NOR LIKE IT, it has a place but a letter really?
full blown conversation? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
If all I am worth to someone is a text conversation, then please take me off your call list.

JLeslie's avatar

^^“Worth”

You really have it wrong. You’re being judgmental and closed minded. I don’t care if you don’t want to text, that’s your choice, but what I know for sure is you haven’t given it a fair chance to understand its convenience, or to understand the people who utilize it. More than one of us, including me, said we didn’t understand how much we would prefer texting until we were pushed into doing by someone else.

Texting a phrase on a telephone keypad, as opposed to a typical alpha keyboard, is not the same thing at all. I’m going on the assumption you’re good on an alpha keyboard since you participate here.

You can choose to take into account people who actually use the medium, and why they like it, or decide to only stick with how you think about it in your head without even trying it. If you never try, that’s fine, but don’t judge others so harshly, assuming they don’t care enough about the people they text instead of call. That’s mean. You can’t make those assumptions. You have NOT tried texting in the manner everyone is talking about on this Q.

The truth is, I communicate MORE with the people I text then those who will only talk via a phone call. I want my mom and dad to text so we can be in contact more often not less. I still talk to them the same amount.

Edit: no one is saying you have to have a full blown conversation.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: I don’t think @JLeslie meant “type a letter” as in a document, but type a letter, as in “A, B, C, D….” etc.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Uh I do it with my mac to relatives and co workers that have I phones, they love it , but I still think it’s stupid, but I indulge them because they are text junkies and just love typing away on their micro key boards.
But I won’t do it with my phone.

jca's avatar

I don’t think of everyone that uses a smart phone as an addict or a “tech junkie.” There are people that are, of course, then there are people like me. I use it, I like it, I’m not addicted to it, I find it helpful but if I had to live without it, I could. It would be like living without any other luxury/convenience, such as cable TV, internet, DVR, automatic transmission, anything like that.

JLeslie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2

Well, your mac isn’t the same as texting on your phone. Just like texting on a flip phone isn’t the same as texting on a smartphone.

Not to mention I like that I can share my location with my husband on my iPhone. Maybe you have a different GPS device though, since you’re a truck driver. I know where my husband, dad, and sister are at all times when I bother to look at it. They know where I am. Or, where my phone is. I share my location for the day with friends driving in from out of town, because my house doesn’t GPS in most systems well. Some people don’t want their spouse to know where they are at all times. I don’t mean they are doing something wrong, just that it’s too much hour by hour information. Just another feature I like though.

I don’t care about being tied to the internet constantly, although I do use it on my phone since I have a smartphone. It’s convenient when trying decide on restaurants and things like that.

I don’t even know if the iPhone 4 has the location sharing service. The 5 did.

canidmajor's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 she’s not going to let this go, you might want to walk away.

@JLeslie, “texting” is not a sapient being that recognizes the concept of “fair chance”. This is not a necessary medication he’s refusing to try, or something that will save the life of a puppy.
And he can text already. He doesn’t want to text on a smart phone.

So the fuck what. You knew how he felt about this stuff before you even posted on this Q.
It seems to be so important to you to keep at it.
Yes, validation. Prove me wrong. Walk away. I won’t even watch.

JLeslie's avatar

@canidmajor Why are you following if it bothers you so much? Wow, so twisted in knots about it?

See how obnoxious that is? That is what you are saying to me.

I’m done anyway. I said everything I can on the topic.

Bye bye.

janbb's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 FWIW at this point, I’m with those who say a polite “No thanks, I don’t want it” is the way to answer your friend. We all choose what tech stuff we want to use and what doesn’t interest us – that’s one of the beauties of life in a free country.

JLeslie's avatar

I just saw @jca‘s comment. She’s correct. Type a letter, A, B, C, not an essay.

Aethelwine's avatar

Some of us are following because we are standing up for Squeeky. He is being badgered over using a smart phone when he asked how to decline the gift. At this point I’m ready to toss my smart phone out the window after reading all of this.

It’s very frustrating to witness a fellow jelly getting badgered. We should care and stand up when it is not deserved.

jca's avatar

I don’t think of it as “badgering,” I think of it as “encouraging.” We’re not badgering him to use the smart phone, we’re encouraging him to use the smart phone.

chyna's avatar

I really think its badgering. He doesn’t want to use one.
Let it be.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

For those that did answer my question THANK YOU.
For those of you who think I went off on a rant well your right but you started it.
I will say one last time the newer flip phone CAN do a crap load of stuff, great but I don’t use most of them now, that won’t change with a smart phone.
And for those that think they are encouraging ,well it is coming across as badgering, my friend will be bad enough when I turn the phone down.
I DO NOT WANT A DAMN SMART PHONE, I wouldn’t take a brand new one if you all got together and bought me one, why can’t some of you understand that??

SQUEEKY2's avatar

One last time about texting in my opinion I find it cold and and in personable , I have stated it has a place it’s ok for quick messages ,NOTHING more.

For those of you that love it great, just please don’t do it while driving, I am to a point if I came across an accident where I knew the person was texting and driving I would probably leave them there and not help at all hows that for cold?

No one in my close family texts with exception of a few nieces and nephews, and the have iPhones that I text with them with my mac, and don’ really care for it that way either but they love it.
They know I don’t like smart phones and are ok with it, why aren’t some of you?

JLeslie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Ok, so you won’t text more than you do now. You shouldn’t.

To everyone else. I appreciate jellies standing up for other jellies when they have been badgered, but I know I have said if he doesn’t want to use the phone don’t.

@janbb politely said, and I paraphrase, that each of us chooses what technology we want to use. I completely agree.

@SQUEEKY2 basically has called people who like texting on their iPhone “obsessed,” he judges them, and he’s not just fighting back at those of us trying to explain why smartphone texting is convenient, he went way beyond that. He loses ground if he’s being judgmental, and not just saying he’s not interested and doesn’t even want to try it. He’s not lashing out at us, he’s accusing everyone who wants to text as being somehow bad people.

See, he didn’t say he doesn’t want to try the smartphone texting, he believes he already has tried smartphone texting, but it simply is not the same.

He did explain it will cost him money to change the phone, and that’s a reason he doesn’t want to try it when he already is reluctant. That’s reasonable to me. What’s not reasonable is how he thinks he’s tried it wen he hasn’t.

Then some people join in not just defending him, which is fine, but being condescending to other people, accusing of us finding it so important to get other people to try it. Okie dokie. It’s not so important.

The most we jellies who are supposedly badgering have done is say he’s being stubborn or not understanding, and while we say that many of us said we were the same at first about the smartphone texting.

I’ll agree it dragged on longer than necessary, but it wasn’t until the end that I actually thought to ask if he is texting on a number keypad. Is anyone “defending” the OP really going to try to tell me it’s the same texting on a number keypad than an actual alpha keyboard? Who?

And, are you going to defend that for sure now he’ll never try it because jellies were annoying? Seriously? That’s a reason to never try something for the rest of your life? Just to show us he has a mind of his own? It’s the opposite of that.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Your coming across as obsessive saying if I just try it with a smart phone I will just love it, you even said it isn’t the same as Imessege with my mac, which I text,and that is full size keyboard, and I still don’t like it,but it isn’t the same as doing it with a smart phone.
Because doing it on a smart phone will be so much better, why?
I am judgmental of people that defend texting to such lengths I witness people being extra stupid on their smart phones almost every freaking day.
I DO NOT NEED A SMART PHONE, free or not, I DO NOT WANT A SMART PHONE,free or not, SURE a smart phone can do so much but if your not going to use those features why bother?

chyna's avatar

When my brother was asked if he wanted one all he said was nope. ‘Nuff said.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @chyna and I bet his flip serves all his needs nicely.
As does mine it fits great into my shirt pocket, it only requires charging once a week or so, has a camera, that I use from time to time, and can store 200 phone numbers wow looks like it does every thing I want and more.

JLeslie's avatar

^^I fully support you if you don’t want to bother to try it. I don’t agree that you feel you have already tried it. That’s all I’m saying.

@chyna Basically, like my mom. She just says she doesn’t want it. My dad every so often says he wants her to get one, but she doesn’t want it. She won’t even get a new flip phone, which will likely have a much better battery.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I never once said I tried texting on a smart phone, I observe people walking head down into things while texting.
I watch others grumbling about swiping their phones to answer a call.
I have tried texting and dislike it greatly, and no I have never tried texting on a smart phone and I still believe I won’t like it.
And no I don’t want to try it, close minded or not, the flip does everything I want now why change that?

JLeslie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Everyone here saying try it, thinks you will like it and benefit from it. We could be wrong. We strongly believe you don’t understand the difference between what you do already, and what the smartphone experience will be.

You have a bunch of voices believing you don’t know what your missing so to speak. The people who agree with you either don’t use the smartphone themselves, so they don’t have “experience” either, or they are supporting you because they feel other people are hanging up on you, or they are sticking to the original question.

You are not my mom. My mom won’t get on the internet at all. Nothing. No web browsing, no email, no text, zero. You are different. You come to this Q&A site, you seem to enjoy some online interaction, and your typing skills seem pretty good.

My aunt would not agree to a DVR. She protested a few times. I got it for her anyway. Within a week she said to me, “I didn’t understand what you were talking about.” The DVR is a good gadget for her. I resisted getting a DVR for myself for years, then finally got one. That’s how I knew to ignore my aunt’s protests. Plus, if she wound up not using it, I would have gotten rid of it.

Now, you have an opportunity for a free phone, but the thing is, it isn’t really free since you will have to spend money to put it in your policy, so I’m with you, if you’re so reluctant, and don’t see a need for it, then don’t bother. Although, I will say, I don’t think you have to worry about paying to go back to your flip phone. You can just use the iPhone how you want, and not how you don’t want. Eventually, you would need a new phone whether flip or iPhone, because phones wear, and batteries weaken, and you can go to a new fl iPhone then if you wanted.

But, you seem to know what you want, so as everyone said, politely decline the offer from your friend, say thanks for the thought, and you’re done.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I guess like kids, and tech gadgets in a vehicle I will just miss out and I am more than fine with that.
Mrs Squeeky and I don’t have cable tv or satellite, we watch tv from the internet,I spend way to much time in front of the computer now,thus do not want a portable one(smart phone).
My cell is off when I drive and off most of my weekends sure it’s in my shirt pocket or in the golf cart but again it’s off, I do not want to be that in touch with anyone.
Am I missing the smart phone magic probably but I will risk it, I might regret it someday but I highly doubt it.
Maybe I am worried I will become addicted to it and not be able to put it down, can’t function with out it again I will take that chance.
When I am in a waiting time at work via an accident or breakdown , my flip gets me help,and can check road conditions from an 1–800# from the flip.
other than that I use the time to clean the truck or catch up on a pile of paper work.
So thanks for the concern from those who think I should try it, but I am going to pass,this up and anytime in the near future.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

For what it’s worth, I broke down last year and bought an Android smart phone due to the incredibly basic phone owned dying. Was it worth it?

My lifestyle sounds much like yours. The shop where it was purchased easily transferred all pertinent information from the old phone to the new in a matter of minutes. The basics of using it were either obvious or quickly learned via short YouTube videos. I rarely use it…maybe once a week to check in with friends/family. If I had to change back to the archaic phone, I wouldn’t have any heartburn over it.

My vote is to stay true to how you feel. The friend’s phone can be passed on to someone who will truly appreciate it. Just keep in mind that someday, the old phone will need to be replaced.

As a side note, I’m not a fan of Apple products. They tend to become obsolete sooner rather than later due to the required software updates needed to run them.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Thanks @Pied_Pfeffer I am going to just stick to my good ole flip,I use it a lot for work but thats about it only 25% or less for private use.

janbb's avatar

Can this discussion be closed? :-)

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Oh NO @janbb I want more people defending their smart phones and the magic it brings to their lives, and how I am an idiot for not wanting to join in on that magic.

Aethelwine's avatar

No. :)

I miss rotary phone receivers. I hate talking into a cell phone. Cell phones are uncomfortable to hold and uncomfortable on the ear. I also hate speaker phone and blue tooth, so that’s not an option for me.

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes! You know me so well.

JLeslie's avatar

@jonsblond I agree! I want an old fashion one in my house. My mom and dad still have their rotary phone from when I was a kid.

Kardamom's avatar

@chyna I covet that phone!

SQUEEKY2's avatar

One last post and hope this video clears it all up for all of you…
https://youtu.be/baD0IubrDFo

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