How do I stop feeling this dread?
I was dating this guy for a few months, and when on dates it was perfect, he was kind and yes we were sexual. He hadn’t talked to me in a few days so I reached out to him, and he ignored it. I broke down and assumed it was his way of breaking it off with me. I messaged him again a few days later and told him I didn’t want to get closer to someone that isn’t sure of what they want and that I need someone that is 100 percent sure they want to be with me. He said he thinks I’m amazing and that he’s happy we met, that he’s not fit for one hundred precent.I just thanked him for the honesty (deleted him on social media) and we haven’t talked since. And now I’m stuck crying everyday because I feel like I brought this upon my self. I live with this dread that it’s my fault and that I’ve lost the greatest man I’ve ever met. I know I deserve someone that without a doubt wants me, but I feel so devastated. Never felt this way before and I don’t understand what to do to make it go away. Did I mess up?
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12 Answers
Get out and do things that make you happy. Stay busy. Try writing your feelings down. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will come to you.
but I haven’t come to him, I truly want to be with him, but I haven’t done anything to show him. what is he’s thinking the same thing? But I don’t have it in me to reach out to him, I think it would hurt me to much.I’ve been going out every single day, working on myself and keeping a journal.
You blew it. You could make one more attempt: tell him that you miss him and want to try dating again, but do not surprised if he has already moved on or is freaked out by your changeability..
Just send him a text asking how he’s doing and see how his response is. Maybe he’ll be open to a chat, or more, or maybe not. If you do that, though, prepare yourself for rejection. It’s a gamble.
He mentioned before we stopped talking that he wants to be friends, and hangout. I could never see him as just a friend so in a way I’m gald he hasn’t reached out. I guess I’ll just have to accept it wasn’t met to be.
There are many fish in the sea, @redrose444. How old are you?
There are many fish in the sea… to bad I’m human.
We’re both 25, everything happens for a reason, I learned from this.
Thanks everyone.
You probably pressured him too soon but he may have run away anyway. I don’t think there’s anything to do now but let it go.
Sorry to say this but it seems HE has issues. A mature young man will be ready to make his position clear from the start and like a true gentleman should look you in the eye and tell you it’s over. He should not have just scuttled away like a rat. Move on; you deserve better.
I feel like I gave him the out he was looking for and he took it.
Or I pressured him and he ran.
I’ll never know the truth, and I think thats where the dread comes from. Knowing I deserve someone who knows they want to be with me vs wishing I had just said nothing
Just be extra careful with your next move and how you handle things.
@redrose444 I am sure you are quite wounded now and I am very sorry for that. You may have jumped the shark. He did a tremendous favor to you by telling you he can’t be 100%! You deserve someone with whom you can each be 100%. It always takes two. Or in the case that you are a believer It takes Three. I hope you heal well from this. God Bless.
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