General Question

mee_ouch's avatar

How do you react when you've been purposely humiliated?

Asked by mee_ouch (656points) August 11th, 2008

Do you return the “favour” or do you attribute it as a character flaw of the person who originated the sentiment…and ignore it?

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25 Answers

Indy318's avatar

If it is malicious (esp. against my family/friends), I will react appropriately but rarely physically. If the comment was made with others witnessing, I will try to humilate the person to the point he/she will never even think of passing a sly remark to me. If it is public and I barely known the person, I try to ignore it with no confrontation. This is where I view the comment as a character flaw that is their problem, not mine.

mee_ouch's avatar

Great answer Indy318.
You’ve covered all of the bases. Kudos to you.

sweet_one's avatar

Laugh it off….and if its a random person…you will never see him/her again.

Indy318's avatar

Mee ouch, thank you. i was just expressing my views, which is sometimes the most diffucult question to answer for there are so many different situations that you will face in life.

mee_ouch's avatar

You’re a much better person than I Sweet_one! Good for you.

Indy….I’m much like yourself and as I’ve grown older I’ve learned the fine art of ownership with regards to slander and the like.
What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.

Indy318's avatar

@mee ouch, sometimes the best reaction is no reaction. People are ignorant and say illadvised comments to degard someoe or inflate their own being. However, one must draw a line between acceptable stupidity and offensive humiliation. One crosses my line when they attack my personal life. I’ll take a joke when someone lightly critizes me but will not tolerate a remark regarding my family and friends. It infuriates me even more when the comment is made by a stranger because he/she has no clue about my personal life. It is key to remain pacif at all costs and resort to physical confrontation as a final measure.

mee_ouch's avatar

You’re so right! It drives ‘em crazy when you don’t respond.
That’s where I currently find myself. No reaction gives them a chance to think about their own actions….at least for some.
Inevitably, Karma will bite ‘em back and then will they realize just how ridiculous they’ve been

molly's avatar

i wish i could say i was witty or brave enough most of the time to get back at whoever humiliated me and “teach them a lesson” but in a group of people i tend to either be the shy one who shrugs it off and turns it into a joke out of fear of it turning into something bigger and stupid or the one who completely overreacts and starts that something bigger and stupid. character flaw perhaps!

Indy318's avatar

“Stupid is as stupid does.”- one of my fave lines from Forrest Gump. Only ignorant remarks will pop into stupid peoples’ minds. When they finally realize the stupidity in their comment, they’re usually the one’s getting laughed at. :-)

mee_ouch's avatar

No way Molly….you’re just human.
I too wear my ‘heart-on-my-sleeve’ ...a lot. I’ve been hurt more times than I care to remember, but I’m learning to focus on myself. Sensitivity and compassion are beautiful traits seen as weakness in the eyes of those who lack in both. That being the case, often we’re used as target practice for cruel remarks and unwarranted back-lashing.

It’s cruel and bitchy and, as I’m learning, proves who can’t and/or refuses to grow up.

molly's avatar

mee_ouch, so right, really. why is it so looked down upon to have feelings?! people seem to be becoming more and more in denial of their emotions. or just more in touch with their vengeful emotions it seems.

mee_ouch's avatar

It’s the new “Keep ‘em afraid” policy of human rights. Or is it “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.” One of the two.

I’ll stick to what works best for me….kindness kills….Why haven’t they figured that one out yet? Hee Hee

molly's avatar

i like that one best as well!

Allie's avatar

I was at a party and a girl I know made a comment about how the people who go to the college I go to only get into the school because of their parents’ money. I was sitting right there, she said it right in front of me as well as about five other people. I’m the only one (out of the people who were there) that goes to said school, and since she looked right at me as she said it I felt as if it was a personal attack. I tried to let it go, but she picked at it again so I snapped and told her off a bit. She got mad and told everyone she wanted to go home. She went home, I stayed and the rest of us had a good time.
Here’s my advice: If a confrontation can be avoided, then avoid it. (I tried to once, she kept at it.) If it cannot be avoided, then say how you feel. Don’t let people walk on you. Other won’t respect you and you might end up not respecting yourself for not sticking up for yourself.

mee_ouch's avatar

Ha..Allie, I’ve dealt with those people as well. What a bunch of self-absorbed twits.
How in the world do these people expect any sort of respect from others when they clearly have none for themselves?

These people amaze me. How many minions do you suppose they will have surrounding them when they’ve exhausted their resourses? Not many I’ll hazard a guess.

joeysefika's avatar

I can’t remember the last time i was embarrased or humiliated it just doesn’t happen so i don’t really react, just laugh it off

mee_ouch's avatar

great attitude…

bodyhead's avatar

The best think you can do is forgive them. Don’t hold a grudge. You might even tell them what you’re doing. i.e. I don’t know why you’re acting so rudely to me but I forgive you.

Happiness makes a person healthier then anger.

mee_ouch's avatar

Bodyhead….It may take some time, but you are right as far as I’m concerned. Taking the ‘high road’ has not steered me wrong….thus far.

bodyhead's avatar

It’s damn hard to do most of the time especially if you’re quick to anger like me but I do try to forgive. It’s that person’s fault that they are a jerk. It’s all environmental conditioning (or God’s plan depending on what you believe).

The high road is a better road but it’s hard to stay on it.

mee_ouch's avatar

Hard as hell, but well worth the effort….My personal mantra.

molly's avatar

i just remembered this story my friend told me recently, about how he was at a stop light with his music blaring and his windows down (for others to enjoy, haha) and this middle aged man pulled up next to him and started to somehow (i don’t remember) make fun of him. he turned his music down, looked over at the man and smiled and said hello. the man looked confused, then offered a nervous, “hey?” after a moment he asked, “do i know you?” my friend replied “no man, you don’t, and it looks like i wouldn’t want to either.” the man apparently just sat there looking completely confused and defeated, and my friend drove off. with calmness and kindness he turned what could have been a typical adult-bashing-teenager story into an adult-gets-humiliated-by-smart-teenager story just by not being afraid to peacefully stand his ground.

flameboi's avatar

Vengeance of course, I don’t need to get physical, there are more efficient ways to hurt a person…

mee_ouch's avatar

Teens have a lot of strategies for avoiding conflict….some great ones at that. My three (teens, not strategies) never cease to amaze me with the tactics that they use. I would like to think that I had a major hand in swaying their decision-making with regards to the action/reaction dichotomy…..Hell!!!! I know I have! Kids aren’t as insolent as we’d like to believe. Not when they’ve got great guidance…and a kick-ass mom…like me!

goldmine178's avatar

i pea my pants to take away the attention from my flaw…

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