General Question

dopeguru's avatar

(NSFW) Why can't a guy get a proper erection?

Asked by dopeguru (1137points) 1 week ago from iPhone

I met a healthy 26 year old who was always half erect during our sexy time. He kept making excuses for it, and he did orgasm, twice! But I cant stop wondering why he couldnt, ya know… Is he nervous about something?

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19 Answers

chyna's avatar

Maybe he felt he was under pressure to perform.

Have you ever considered that you might be a sex addict?

dopeguru's avatar

I havent had sex in a year before this ^

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

It can be a blood pressure problem

Long-term cigarette smoking is often the culprit.

johnpowell's avatar

Was booze involved?

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Cuz you didn’t suck him right lol. Anyway, the easiest way to make him hard is by giving him a long, pleasurable blowjob, immediately after he got hard you can ask him to drill your hole. There you have it, a stiff, long (or maybe not so long), wood-hard, penis.

Coloma's avatar

Maybe he’s just not that into you, performance pressure, anxiety or a health related issue.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I was just about to post exactly this @Coloma. Perhaps he was just going through the motions, but he’s really not that into you. Is this Mr “Make him love me in three days”?

Coloma's avatar

@Earthbound_Misfit Well, being only half hard does modify the ” he just slipped it right in” factor. LOL Sorry @dopeguru Impossible to resist that, one of the all time Fluther classics. haha

dopeguru's avatar

@coloma lol, oh my god.

Well he certainly acted like he was into me. And how did he orgasm twice if he wasnt?

Smashley's avatar

There can be a lot of reasons. Anxiety and drug use are probably the most common at that age.

dopeguru's avatar

Mind you, I also told him prior that Im impossible to truly be satisfied. Not sure if that got in his head.

Smashley's avatar

I doubt the “not that into you.” Why was he there? Why did he go for twosies? Seems like anxiety, like he was trying to prove something, like he was having a head fuck. Sounds like you might have been reading into it a lot too, which wouldn’t have helped.

dopeguru's avatar

@Smashley Do you think he enjoyed it regardless?

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

@Smashley, perhaps he felt pressured into having sex with her. Men can feel obliged to have sex, just as women can. Given the OP’s earlier question about making him fall in love with her, who knows whether she pressured him or not.

@dopeguru, nobody here can say whether he enjoyed the experience or not. You’d have to ask him.

CWOTUS's avatar

The worst sex I ever had was just… fantastic. Yes, I have no doubt that he enjoyed it.

And yes, it is possible for a male to ejaculate without an erection. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do know that. I’ve known it several times.

As for “why”, there can be a lot of reasons: was he physically tired or exhausted from overwork? (Those aren’t the same thing.) Had he already had an erection for a long time, or one or two orgasms ahead of time? (Is it possible that he masturbated ahead of time so that he wouldn’t ejaculate too soon? Or that he used any kind of numbing creme for the same reason?) Has he been ill lately? Had a lot on his mind? What is his general state of health, fitness and weight control? Does he have diabetes or any other type of cardiovascular or circulatory issues?

LornaLove's avatar

There could be so many reasons for it, including health issues and psychological issues. Like wanting to perform well. I doubt that he wasn’t into it because as you said he managed to climax twice. Importantly, don’t make a massive deal about it. It could start a vicious cycle for him. Men are sensitive about their erections.

jwalt's avatar

You told him that you’re “impossible to be truely satisfied”? Or course that is in his head, even if he is not actively thinking about that phrase, it adds to the anxiety of wondering how the first time will be…etc.

Smashley's avatar

@dopeguru – I expect so. Hard to say for certain. It doesn’t really matter that much. Sex gets better over time, in most cases, and mediocre sex the first time usually doesn’t mean it’s the last time, unless genital location was literally all you had in common.

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