If animals could talk, which animal would be the most interesting and which would be the most annoying?

Jack Russel are supposed to be smart. So I would like talking to them. Cats too. I would not like to talk to anything that I will eat.

LOL. I really like Jack Russels, too. Any dog that size that thinks he’s as big and tough as a Great Dane—and gets away with it—would be really interesting to talk to.

I think that sloths would have some well-thought positions on the state of the world. After all, they have all that time to think about what they’re going to say next; they’d surely want to make it count, because it might take all they have to repeat themselves. So I’ll put them down as “most interesting”.

As to “most annoying”, if you’ve ever been to a hen party, well… I don’t dare go further.

Crows would probably have very interesting commentary about what they observe throughout the day. I imagine they would all sound pretty grumpy, and that I would fit right in with them!

I love this question. I can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with.

I’d love to hear elephants talk. From what I read, they are highly intelligent and emotionally deep animals. I know they grieve for their dead and are self-aware. I’d like to hear them talk about how they feel they have been treated by humans and how they feel about their relatives.

Intetesting: the proverbial fly on the (Vatican/Oval Office/etc.) wall.

Annoying: the fox (Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

It is clear that dogs would be the most annoying.

I think humming birds are cool, I’d like to ask the hyper little fuks if they ever just chill out, and where they go at night? I think any ssssnake would be the mosssst annoying animal to conversssse with. Cant handle that reptile lisssssp.

Oh Lord, last thing I need is to be able to hear my dog’s thought process.

“Mom. Whatcha doing? Where are we going? Kitchen? Are you getting food? Is the food for me? Oh beer not for me. Ok. Where we going now? Laying down on the couch? I LOVE LAYING ON THE COUCH. I’ll lay here on your chest ok? Oh you have that book thing. Ok I’ll lay on your feet. Mom. You’re not touching me enough. Mom. Pet my head. I’m gonna wiggle until you pet my head. Mooooom. Mom. Pet my heeeaaaddddd… Oh thanks Mama. Let’s go to sleep mama.

Penguins. Because they are penguins and you can never get enough “How I got away from the shark” stories.

I’m partial to cats, so I’d want to hear from them.

But I would think that elephants and whales and crows and ravens would be particularly interesting.

I imagine hyenas would be annoying, but that might be my inner lion’s opinion showing through. It would also possibly be annoying to listen to high-metabolism nervous animals, such as yippy little dogs.

A hundred year old whale might be interesting to talk to.

I would want to hear the thoughts and observations of a panther.

Most annoying to me would be squirrels. Squirrels get so distracted they forget what they are doing while running up a tree.

For some reason I feel like tortoises would have some interesting wisdom to share.

House wrens would just be constantly yelling “HEY! HEY YOU! FUCK OFF! HEY! YEAH I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU. FUCK OFF BUDDY”

Mockingbirds would be the same but they’d be able to say “fuck off” in 20 different languages.

About a week ago my friend and I were observing a colony of sea lions. We came to the conclusion that their continuous ongoing and very vocal discussions usually went something like this:

STOPTOUCHINGME! STOPTOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! YESYOUAREYOU’RETOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! HE’STOUCHINGME! HE’STOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! STOPTOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! YESYOUAREYOU’RETOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! YESYOUAREYOU’RETOUCHINGME! HE’STOUCHINGME! I’MTOUCHINGYOU! I’MTOUCHINGYOU! STOPTOUCHINGME! HA!HA! I’MTOUCHINGYOU! I’MTOUCHINGYOU! STOPTOUCHINGME! I’MNOTTOUCHINGYOU! HE’STOUCHINGME! YESYOUAREYOU’RETOUCHINGME! STOPTOUCHINGME! STOPTOUCHINGME! STOPTOUCHINGME!

Maybe they are more elightened when the females are around.

Squirrels: “Dog! Dog!”

Horse, dog.

Of course, we already know what they say.

All animals are intelligent equal talkative, some are more talkative than others.

Humans will still be the most annoying animals..) I would like to hear from big cats i.e. lions / Tigers. I wonder what crocks must be chatting when they see herd of Wildebeest crossing the river in Africa!!

@imrainmaker “nom, nom, nom”

Love this Q, but I have to admit I can’t think of any animal species that I’d expect to be annoying from the outset… And now I so want it to be the case that they could all talk! I’d just walk around interviewing all the different animals and asking them about their lives and their thoughts on the world, and what their plans were for the day, and why such-and-such etc…

Oh, got it. It’d be me. I’d be the annoying one.

These zoo anmals have a lot to say too.

@janbb It’s all happening at the zoo.

Interesting: Homophobic bald eagle…”look at that talking bird showing off, bet he likes a cockatoo”
Annoying: Orangutan…Arrogant ginger monkeys probably sound like Stephen Hawking.

I’m not sure the bald eagle would be the most interesting, regardless of its sexual preference. Probably more of a “Get off my damn tree!” kind of thing, to all of the other birds.

Or maybe “Yeah I got feathers on my head no bald spot sucker it’s just my fuckin name”

@zenvelo I do believe it, I do believe ti’s true.