Since a large part of English classes is to teach student how to write better by getting them to understand their own mistakes, what we should probably do is tell you what’s incorrect about what you’ve written, rather than just writing our own versions for you.
* Check the format you’re supposed to use for major works like the novel Emma – usually it’s supposed to be in italics rather than in quotes (which is for the titles of shorter works, like poems, songs, or short stories).
* Usually you would not start a new line for every sentence.
* There should be a comma between “story” and “Emma” in the third sentence, to show clearly whether you mean “Throughout the story, Emma…” or “Throughout the story Emma, ...” which is the difference between Emma being the story or the character. Although the rest of the sentence makes this clear, you should use a comma to help the reader understand this as they read it.
* “Emma is matching” – should be matchmaking.
* “But sometimes her matching didn’t work and cause troubles.” – Matchmaking again. Also notice that your two verbs are not the same tense. They should both be in past tense. Also if you do want to use present tense, it would be “she causes troubles [or problems]”, not ”[she/it] cause troubles”.
* In general you should pay close attention to which tense you use and be consistent. In writing about fiction, it’s usually best to first be clear what time in the narrative you are talking about, and be consistent, for example: “By the time Emma murders Hugh, she has become a cold-blooded killer. She only lives to end the lives of those who wronged her, for all they did to her and her family.”
* “Emma believes she doesn’t want to get marry.” – get married.
* Add a comma after “But instead of that”.
* “Its too late” -> “it is too late” or “it’s too late”.
* “She realized that when her best friend Mr.knightley that…” – You left out a verb for the first clause. “Mr.knightly” -> “Mr. Knightly”.
* The part “is with her best friend Harriet.” doesn’t make sense there, and should likely be its own sentence with its own verb.
* “Mr.knightly” -> “Mr. Knightly” again, and think about the tense of the last sentence.
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