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EmpressPixie's avatar

For a modern Miss Manners: is it appropriate for a young woman to wear a white dress to a friend's wedding?

Asked by EmpressPixie (14728points) August 14th, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

flameboi's avatar

Nope, white is for the bride, at what time is the wedding?

flameboi's avatar

and, I’m not miss manners :s lol

EmpressPixie's avatar

I have no idea when the wedding is, I’m not going. I know someone who is and it is too late to tell her the dress isn’t right at this point, but I wasn’t comfortable saying anything when I wasn’t sure. This is just to know for next time.

flameboi's avatar

mmm.. I see, try to stop her

dragonflyfaith's avatar

I wouldn’t dare wear white to someone’s wedding. Is it all white or is there a design? Either way, I wouldn’t.

EmpressPixie's avatar

No design. I wouldn’t have gone for white at a wedding either, but figured that tradition might have been old-fashioned of me. I do not have her contact info, but she’s heading home first so I assume there will be parental intervention.

flyawayxxballoon's avatar

Absolutely not! That will never be acceptable. White is for the bride, and the bride only, other than the occasional white flower girl dress. The bride is the center of attention, thus only she may wear a white dress. If someone else wears white, it takes away from the bride. I really hope that your friend figures this out and leaves that dress on the hanger.

Snoopy's avatar

No. This is not OK…..it is tacky. As a former bride, I would have noticed and thought it in poor taste…..

scamp's avatar

Nope. I think it’s very bad manners to wear white to a wedding, unless you are the bride. And let’s face it , there are even some brides who are pretty ballsy for wearing white!

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@scamp Isn’t that the truth! haha

Judi's avatar

This white dress would be OK
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2999685?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=white+dress+in+Women%27s+Apparel&origin=searchresults

This white dress would NOT be OK.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2981827?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=white+dress+in+Women%27s+Apparel&origin=searchresults
A white base with other colors or print is fine as long as it is not solid white and does not look like a wedding dress or bridesmaid dress

scamp's avatar

@Judi Great examples! You’re right on the money.

charliecompany34's avatar

in my opinion, wear whatever you like. sure, it can be white. you know you aren’t the bride as well as everybody else in the church. you don’t have a train. you came to the party with your husband who everybody knows you love. you don’t wear a veil. you ain’t wearing a push-up bra or make-up like a wedding barbie doll. now if you just happen to be the jilted girl of the past, that’s a different message.

Les's avatar

I agree with all of you (that it is not appropriate to wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride), but I have to ask if this particular bride would care much? I mean, in this day and age, it seems there are more and more women choosing to have untraditional weddings, in whatever sense of the term that may be. I have a friend who wants to serve Qdoba at her wedding, and have doughnuts for dessert. And she has no interest in a “traditional” wedding dress. I highly doubt my friend would care if someone wore a white sun dress to her wedding.
However, this is only given that this wedding takes place in the summer, or on some beautiful tropic isle. If this wedding is taking place in any other season, I would find it completely inappropriate to wear a white dress, regardless of the bride’s feelings.

Snoopy's avatar

I don’t disagree w/ you charlie….BUT I am sure that this gal can find something just as pretty to wear…..why create the potential air of controversy on someone’s big day?

cooksalot's avatar

Perhaps she can accessorize it so that it isn’t in competition with the bride? Face it the last thing you want is to perhaps have the bride (if she’s your friend) never talk to you again because of this. OR if the groom is the friend have him banned from ever being friends again because his bride was insulted.

marinelife's avatar

Dear EmpressPixie,

Thanks for thinking of me for help in solving your dilemma:

It is never all right
For a non-bride to wear white
On the bride’s special day
Your friend’s likely to pay
When the friendship goes right out of sight.

Sincerely,

Miss Manners

hkate's avatar

I think traditionally anyone other than the bride should wear white. But agree with judy’s answer about a white dress with a printed design on it. When it comes to weddings I think it best to err on the side of tradition because you never know what the bride might latch onto and see.

cooksalot's avatar

Anyone see the Bridezilla where the mom wanted to wear a dress that was fancier, and more expensive than the bride! OMG! Was that bride growing fangs with venom or what. I got that just from the commercials.

lily's avatar

unless the bride is wearing red or something, its not ok. you have 364 other days to wear white. wear some other color.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I wouldn’t unless the Bride herself was modern and had another contrasting color on her own dress. If she is wearing all white, you leave her to that magic. It is HER day ESPECIALLY if this is her first marriage. But if she is unconventional and has like Red or black trim on her own dress I think all bet’s are off.

bewailknot's avatar

If the bride is wearing white no guest should be – it is the bride’s day.

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