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Snoopy's avatar

What are some funny things that happened to you during labor?

Asked by Snoopy (5798points) August 14th, 2008

My husband made the horrible mistake of going to the cafeteria and bringing a cup of coffee and a danish to the room at about my 15th hour of labor. One look and he turned and slinked out of the room to finish it…..

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33 Answers

McBean's avatar

I don’t remember my labor being all that funny, unfortunately. I guess the funniest part, in retrospect, is the ease with which I happily invited people into the room, legs apart for the world to see, because the epidural had made me oblivious to the bottom half of my body. Quite a show, huh? Ugh.

Snoopy's avatar

Sounds pretty McBean!

I remember a resident coming in to insert something to get the labor going in the middle of the night…..he basically walked in the room and put whatever it was where it needed to be…..w/out comment. Before he left he sleepily said ”....nice to meet you…..” as he left the room.

I burst out laughing :)

ninjaxmarc's avatar

funniest I’ve heard is my cousins wife saying where’s Capone I need him to save me.

Capone = family pitbull.

skfinkel's avatar

I remember a very handsome man coming into my room, a day after I delivered. He was charming, and I actually thought he was flirting with me. I was my most smiling and charming self. Then he said he wanted to check my stitches. And, more humiliating, he said it was he who had put them in. Yikes.

augustlan's avatar

A couple of things: No epidural, so when I was having contractions I was very “inner focused”, eyes closed, not talking, etc. Wheel of Fortune was on the tv with no sound, and during a real bad contraction, when everyone was very quiet I opened my eyes for a moment and said “Patriotic American Cheese” was the answer to a “before and after” question. Also, I was handing hubby my large cup of Sprite because a contraction was coming on…before he had a hold on it, the contraction hit, I let go, and Sprite splashed all over the place. For the next several hours, everyone’s feet stuck to the floor…making “sucking” sounds as they walked. Except for the pain, my labors were always fun. Lots of laughter…good way to welcome someone to the world, I think. :)

Judi's avatar

I remember thinking it but I don’t remember saying it out loud, but apparently I did, making the whole room roar (behind my back of course)


Then, when my daughter was in labor she looked me in the eye with the most serious face I have ever seen and said (in a guttural tone)

“Eve was a bitch!”

rowenaz's avatar

I WISH something funny had happened….

dragonflyfaith's avatar

These are great! Y’all will have to wait on an answer from me though.

augustlan's avatar

@dragon: for your sake, I hope not too long :)

redsgirl4eva's avatar

@augustian I agree because a baby is an awesome thing and it is so awesome to watch them play and grow up.

cak's avatar

I had a c-section for both of my children and I knew one of the doctors for years. While he was getting ready make the incision, he started asking me if we had seen The Matrix movies and how did I feel about them (the last one wasn’t out, yet) – meanwhile, he had started the incision, was making comments about it here and thing you knew, we had a boy.

About an hour later, my mom asked how everything went, my husband said great, we paid for a c-section and got a movie review, too! He still laughs at how calm I was. I had two words for him….good drugs. :)

Of course, I cried, did the normal things, looked for all the right parts!

Phillyzero's avatar

Much less funny much more gross (such as the release of excrement and heavy amounts of fluid), but it’s worth it, and am glad that some of you had funny moments to enjoy lol.

Seesul's avatar

This didn’t happen to me, but a neighbor of mine. I think I posted it before, but I’ll do it again for the new flutherers.

She was in labor for a looooong time with her first child. After the absolutely exhausting birth, she commented she was tired. Her (now ex-) husband’s,(wonder why?) reply was: “YOU’RE tired, what about me? At least you were lying down”.

Snoopy's avatar

Seesul: I really might have to stab him w/ a fork or something. Wow. LOL

McBean's avatar

@Seesul: I agree with Snoopy. I would have had to hurt him.

asmonet's avatar

My mother had my brother on The Farm.

Someone blew pot smoke in her face and said, “Here honey, it’ll help.” Mid push. There was a real chance of my mom murdering her.

Judi's avatar

Wow, someone who’s mom was a bigger hippie than me!

asmonet's avatar

@Judi: You have no idea, my mom and dad ran one of the first all inclusive sort of holistic healing centers in the 1970s in Florida. We were all born naturally, with midwives either at home of on The Farm. And we all have the lambswool we plopped out on. Some people think that’s gross. But I cherish that lamb skin more than I did my baby blanket. I mean, it was the first thing I ever touched, which is pretty cool I think. It’s surprising how few people think that’s awesome instead of ‘gross’. It’s not stained or anything, jeez.

Hurray for Hippie Mamas!

Judi's avatar

you and my daugher would get along great.

asmonet's avatar

@Judi: I’m gonna take that as a compliment, having seen you around the site I’m sure I’d like anyone you raised. :)

Judi's avatar

It’s nice when no one else seems to get why I had my kids in a dark room and made everyone shut up, that at least my daughter appreciates it. I wish I had had a lambs wool though!

asmonet's avatar

Yeah, I dunno just knowing that my mom and I slept for 24 hours immediately after my birth together, with me just balled up on her chest seems so much better than being carted off to a nursery with 30 other screaming babies and my mom separated from me within minutes. Almost all my friends have said that’s what they think happened to them. Bleh.

That’s fucking unnatural.

Snoopy's avatar

@asmonet Maternity wards today do not stip the babes away. As a matter of fact, for both of my kids, I held the baby after delivery. My husband gave them their first baths. The babies stayed in the room w/ us the entire time in the hospital (i.e hubbie slept/stayed in the room too). We cared for our baby the entire time. I was never separated from them.

Today, if a mom is separated from her kid in the hospital (presuming a healthy infant), this is by her choosing.

Judi's avatar

But it’s still treated as a medical procedure rather than an natural thing. Hospital birthing centers (at least in Central California) are run more by the wishes of the attorneys than by the wishes of the doctors and the Mothers

asmonet's avatar

I know things have changed, and that’s great but like Judi said, it’s still not quite there yet. I was specifically talking about a range of 1975–1990 being the tiem when babies were picked up and processed. :)

Judi's avatar

I had my oldest in a hospital in 1980, but it was in Eugene, Oregon (where the hippies still roam to this day) and they were very receptive to my wishes. When my daughters had their children (recently) their requests for a non invasive, non violent birth experience was scorned. Some of their requests were granted but they were assured by the staff that they were in control, not my daughters.

ubersiren's avatar

I wasn’t far into my labor, not in any real pain, just chatting it up with my mom and few friends when another lady very far into her labor was being wheeled down the hall in a wheel chair. She was screaming and hollering, and as she came past my room, I could see that she was just about standing up in the wheel chair freaking out. Not funny at the time, it scared the crap out of me and I cried. But it’s funny to picture her now.

casheroo's avatar

When I arrived at the hospital I was screaming for pain meds, literally screaming. The nurses told me to quiet down, because I was scaring the other patients. My husband could not stop laughing, and he’ll admit it now, but he held his hand over his mouth and I totally knew what he was doing!
I took a drug called Stadol and began hallucinating some amazing things coming out of the bathroom. I was laughing hysterically. That was more fun than funny.
Oh, and while pushing (I started pushing at 7:30am, after being in labor for almost 24 hours) my husband had to call out of work, well he calls work at 9:00 (meanwhile, I’m still pushing..) and I’m giving him the death stare as he tells his work that I’m in labor. He called while holding my leg up in the air. I was not amused.

augustlan's avatar

@casheroo Well at least you have amusing stories to tell! Welcome to the collective.

Val123's avatar

Went in to have my second child. Everything had proceeded just like with the first one. Identically. Shoot, I walked around at 5 for two weeks before both the kids were born! Anyway, got to the hospital and the nurses wanted to wait to check me because it was shift change. My husband looked at me, I kind of shrugged my shoulders like, “Ok!” He says, “OK, but. Um. She’s at 9”
Nurses: “How do you know that?”
Hubby: “Been there, done that.”
Nurses, looking at me lying quietly in the bed, “Oh, I think she can wait.”
10 minutes late, the new nurse checked me…and shit started flying everywhere! Yeah, I was 9!! They couldn’t believe I wasn’t hollering and screaming! They were getting ready to rush the bed down the hall, and I said, “Um, I wanna walk.” They thought I was absolutely insane!
So, the first room we get to has no bed. It only has the two posts sticking up that fit into the legs of the bed so it doesn’t travel. I looked at the nurse, she looked at me (She’s figured out I’m insane, see, she wanted to see what I’d do) and I said, “Well, if I recall, this is how the Indians did it….”
She yells, ”NO!!!!!” LOL!!
I had to reassure her I was only kidding!
Then, about 30 minutes later, I said, “This baby’s coming!” The Doctor wasn’t around. To my amazement all the nurses and everybody ran away, and stood around the perimeter of the room like I was on fire!! I was like, “Um, can you catch?” to my husband? He was pretty cool. He just yes.
The nurses sort of gathered around closer, but at a safe distance, like I had rabies or something, and they were all in a state of controlled panic…then the Doctor walks in, all cool as a cucumber. He’s pulling on his gloves as all the hired help is parting the like the dead sea.
He says, “Well, we ready to have this baby?”
Literally 15 seconds later, I did.

Judi's avatar

@Val123 ; Great Story!!

Val123's avatar

@Judi :) thanks! although I wondered what that “we” stuff was, as in “Are WE ready to have this baby!”

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