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dopeguru's avatar

Why do you think a boy wouldn't kiss a girl after a date?

Asked by dopeguru (1925points) January 7th, 2018

A good friend of mine Alice (26) went on two dates with this boy(27) and they happen to have had a lot in common so they chatted for hours. They spent a lot of time together and at the end the boy would invite her to his part of town but she’d decline (thinking its a booty call). What seemed odd to me is that he didn’t kiss her either times, but slightly touched her shoulder and played with her hand awkwardly. He also asked her about a male friend of her’s which appeared to be more than friendship (I find it odd for someone to ask that if he isn’t into the girl).

She told me he isn’t talking to her much now. I know we can’t know the exact reason for his behavior but if you were to take a guess, what would you say? Does he like her? Is he just shy?

Here’s my take: He likes her, but is unsure of what she wants and doesn’t wanna come off aggressive. Im saying this because Alice is quite distant emotionally. She’s a strange being that I can’t even read even though I’ve known her for a while.

My other take is: He just wants to have sex with her.

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24 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Maybe he does not want to kiss a girl who might have a STD until he gets to know her better.

dopeguru's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 Then why is he inviting her over to his place? haha

chyna's avatar

He’s not interested for whatever reason. And at 27, he is a man, not a boy.

si3tech's avatar

@dopeguru I know of no rule that says a guy must kiss a girl after 1 date. Or 2 or 3. And like @chyna said, he is a man. Not a boy.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

The last girl I dated I did not kiss until our fourth or fifth date, I was also 27 years old. She is my wife now. Don’t assume anything based on that behavior.

dopeguru's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me What was your reason?

NomoreY_A's avatar

Maybe then dude has some jealousy issues. You mention that he asked her about some other guy. Always a bad move, more so on a first date…

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Because I wanted a relationship and not just a piece of ass.

dopeguru's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me Well the guy invited her to his apartment both times to sleep and hang out. But perhaps that’s not a booty call?

chyna's avatar

Yes, it was a booty call. He didn’t want to spend anymore money on her by dating if he couldn’t get her in bed on the first or second date. He would have dumped her either way.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@dopeguru so what? My wife came to my apartment to hang out on like date three before we kissed on date four or five. Like I said, not always a booty call.

rojo's avatar

Seriously? You would ask this in the sexually charged climate we now find ourselves living in? Fear of legal charges would be my guess.

LostInParadise's avatar

I find it odd that he did not even kiss her face. Never heard of anyone getting an STD from that.
My take on it is the 3 date rule. After the first date, he thinks he might like her, so he goes out with her again. After the second date, he figures that she is not right for him. So no third date.

elbanditoroso's avatar

There can be any number of reasons: germs being big one, fear of being sued is another one. Maybe she was catching a cold? We don’t know.

I agree with @LostInParadise – I dated someone once, a long time ago. First date was great, second date was so-so, and third date I couldn’t wait to leave because she was boring as hell and dumb as a box of rocks. I didn’t have any urge to kiss her – I wanted to get away.

Bottom line is: there can be a hundred reasons.

kritiper's avatar

Lack of self-confidence. Nervousness. Maybe she had a green bean stuck in her teeth…
And maybe he didn’t like her.

NomoreY_A's avatar

Oh the hell with all the idle speculation just wrap her in your arms and plant a lip lock on her. Either she swoons and you take her breath away or she knocks you silly and you come to the next morning thinking, how in the hell did I end up on this porch? Either way it’s her call. Suck it up buttercups, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

kritiper's avatar

In my opinion, if a girl has a male friend, she’s taken. Maybe this kid wants to check out just how she feels about this other guy to see if he has a chance. In that case, kissing is out. I wouldn’t like some strange guy trying to kiss my GF. And you don’t kiss friends. So it shows good restraint and respect for that other guy.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Gosh! Stop this useless speculation already. The easiest and safest way for a girl to find out if a man like her is to text him saying “Umm… Just curious… do you find me attractive? So… do you like me? I mean, more than friend, y’know” then you’ll get the result. This is safe because if his answer is “No” then you can still save your pride by saying “Oh I’m just kidding y’know. Lol”. There’s nothing wrong when a girl is the first one to initiate the move and the society don’t see a girl as a coward if she plays with text on failed proposal. As for the kiss issue, not everyone from every culture find it as a must-do after a date, this also goes for every individuals who don’t like/aren’t used to kissing.

Lina444's avatar

I guess, he likes her, but he doesn’t want to hurry. In my opinion, it’s better to wait. By the way, I think that the first step should be taken by a man, so I wouldn’t write him anything.

KNOWITALL's avatar

As a strong, emotionally distant female myself, we have a tendency to treat new males as friends & not show interest. My guess is he is insecure & she didnt give him the normal flirty girl signs so he’s hesitant to show his interest. It’s always been way easier for me to have male friends than a ‘boyfriend’. The next step to see if I’m right is to show the man a little attention, like invite him to lunch or an evening out with friends, just to take the pressure off & see how he is in public with people. It takes a strong man to get past an emotionally distant womans shields, trust me.

NomoreY_A's avatar

@knowitall. Just try to avoid ego trippers and you should be fine. The ” I’m Gods gift to the female gender” type of guy. And there’s a lot of them out there.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@NoMore I’m married now & really only had long term relationships. For a serious person like me, dating is a nightmare. And actually the bolder type of guys are the ones I was attracted to, to balance my serious demeanor, they made me laugh & get out of my shell…ironic.

Kraigmo's avatar

You take is totally correct. Both your takes. Of course he wants sex, but that doesn’t mean he’s the voracious type that has to have.
I think he’s being respectful and taking it slow.
I personally always wait till I know 100% before kissing. I mistakenly kissed too early once, and I decided I’m never gonna subject myself or another to that ever again. That means I miss opportunities. But so what, it’s worth it for the peace of mind.

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