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ma_rie's avatar

How Should I tell my parents that I'm depressed?

Asked by ma_rie (13points) January 8th, 2018

For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling down and unable to do things and gain joy from things that usually make me happy. I’ve been getting barely any sleep. We just got our report cards in school, and the way that I have been feeling has made my grades suffer. I need a way to tell my parents how I’m feeling in a way that they would understand what’s going on and could get me help.

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11 Answers

MrGrimm888's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

I think that the way you articulated yourself in the details section was a good start.

I would add, make sure you have their undivided attention. Maybe at a dinner table, or something like that. Not with a TV on, or other distractions.

If you’re more comfortable talking to one parent, then start with that one. A parent’s job, is to deal with things like this. If you can’t talk to them, for whatever reason, find a relative, or a school councilor.

Don’t put this off. It’s clearly bothering you, and affecting your school work. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way, especially in your youth. But it is an unsustainable life. Get help. You deserve it.

Good luck.

Peace n love.

rojo's avatar

It is hard to deal with depression yourself. Not saying it cannot be done, just that sometimes it takes someone standing outside of that dark hole to give you a hand up. They can help you determine the source of your depression and help you deal with it whether it is them personally or finding a professional to speak with.

Follow @MrGrimm888‘s advice. I would add that it will probably be easier in a one to one setting so choose the parent you feel closest to, the one who you feel understands you the best but it is important that you get their entire attention so they can focus on the difficulties you are having.

I would choose a time, probably after supper, but before bedtime when the family is more relaxed and you can arrange to sit down. Start out with “Mom (or Dad) can I am having a little difficulty and need to speak to someone, can we talk?” And, as mentioned earlier, don’t do this while food is being prepared or the baby is being put to bed. Time it during a lull in the nightime activities.

Good luck with this.

kritiper's avatar

Honesty is always the best policy but some things are better left unsaid. This might be one of the things left unsaid.

janbb's avatar

@ma_rie I would just sit them down and tell them what you told us. You don’t say what your relationship is like but if you are thinking of telling them,it is probably a good one.If so,it will help to have them on your side and explore together why you might be feeling that way.

@kritiper With no explanation of your quip or why you said it, it comes across as pretty uncaring and unhelpful.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes tell them! I grew up with a bipolar mother & depression can get VERY serious if not addressed. Also there are many online sources, groups & hotlines, National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. All free. Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance in your body & easily treatable. Lots of luck, make sure to talk to someone, a trusted teacher, counselor or other family member, whatever it takes.

kritiper's avatar

@janbb If you had my experience you’d know what I meant.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Maybe so. But no reason to be that way, to a new jelly who needs help… I agree with @janbb . She just said it nicer than me.

kritiper's avatar

^EVERY reason to be that way, new jelly or not.
“The better part of valor is discretion.” Shakespere’s “I Henry IV.,” v.4. 121
Besides, if @ma_rie takes my advice and it works, all the better. If not…? Only @ma_rie can decide, not anyone here. All I can do if offer a different option for consideration, whereas you others only offer the one.
Good luck, @ma_rie !

MrGrimm888's avatar

^I guess I was just resisting the notion of suppressiing the young jelly’s feelings. IMO, that is not the answer.

kritiper's avatar

^ Obviously.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.
I hope you will stay with us.
Parents often know something is going wrong. Not knowing specifically what can leave parents feeling anxious and helpless.
Because of this, and because you sound like you really want help from your parents, I believe you should talk with them.
How you presented your situation to us is good. With parents though, the first question is usually, “What do you want me/us to do about it?”
Sometimes that question is misunderstood as “There’s nothing I can do to help.”
However, it usually means, do you expect me to “fix it”? Do you just want to talk a while, then drop it? How can I help you deal with this?
So, when approaching your parents, have at least some idea of how you would like for them to address the problem.
If all you really want is to let them be aware, then tell them… it is a simple heads up.
Good luck, and do please stay with us, even if only sometimes.

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