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imrainmaker's avatar

Have you ever been cheated by your partner in a relationship?

Asked by imrainmaker (8380points) January 9th, 2018

I’m not asking for myself but wanted to know how did you overcome it? It must be devastating when someone does that to his / her life partner.

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20 Answers

cookieman's avatar


elbanditoroso's avatar

You mean before the divorce?

Yes, I caught her ‘in flagrante dilecto’ – I knew him and I trusted her. Oh well.

Long story short: she wanted to go her own way, and didn’t want to even try to fix things.

Time wounds all heels.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I was told so and I believe so. How do you get over it….well you have to decide if a lifetime of shared experiences, emotions, family, money, and lives is worth giving up for one mistake. You have to understand, any woman or man can have a brief interlude with someone whenever they choose, you may never know, or you may find out, and you certainly can’t control their behavior. Maybe you get a free pass next time, it’s between the two people married to work that out, or not. There are lots of open marriages now for a reason.

marinelife's avatar

Yes. I ended it.

@KNOWITALL It is very difficult to go on after cheating by one party. It breaks all basic trust between the partners. For me, I would have to know deep inside myself from things he said and his subsequent actions that I could trust him not to cheat going forward. It would probably take a long time of transparency on his part.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@marinelife It would be easier if I knew for a fact, but both parties deny it.

Lina444's avatar

I thought I was cheated, but I couldn’t prove it. Finally we broke up. After that I met a wonderful man who became my husband. Now I don’t even need to suspect my partner.

si3tech's avatar

@imrainmaker Not physically but emotionally.

flutherother's avatar

Twice divorced but never cheated on or cheating.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My ex cheated on me.

filmfann's avatar

Two early relationships. Both devastated me.

BellaB's avatar

Sexual fidelity isn’t all that meaningful to me. Never has been. If the overall relationship is good I’m not bothered about who is having sex with who. Are they coming home? Do they love each other?

I think it’s best if couples make their feelings on it clear up front.

imrainmaker's avatar

^I’m not sure how many people will be fine with it!!

marinelife's avatar

@si3tech I think that is almost as bad.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I was cheated on by my two most serious partners. Ex-partners… Yes. It’s a trust issue, and I don’t consider cheating a forgivable offense.

The biggest issue I have dealt with is trying to trust other women. I would be lying if I said I have overcome that. I focus on not punishing future girlfriends, for other’s actions. But I’m certainly jaded…

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Dutchess_III's avatar

I used to get quite a bit of that from Rick in the beginning. He’d direct things at me, accusations, that told me he was channeling arguments from another time, another woman, and they didn’t really apply to me at all. I clocked him on it until he stopped.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Yeah. It’s really hard to not be suspicious of women. The pain they can cause is tremendous. I have a lot at stake trusting a woman with my heart. The last few haven’t worked out well either. Honestly, the last girl I dated, I think she would have cheated on me. She got really drunk frequently, and it would have just been a matter of time before she had a drunken fling she may not even remember. Or that’s what experience has taught me. I have to get over it though. I want to be able to trust women, but all I see is evidence backing my fears. Lots of married, and engaged women hook up with strange guys in some of the places I work. I know three bar tenders had sex with a girl who was supposed to be on vacation celebrating here engagement. Three strange guys, in one night… That didn’t help my worries about women…

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